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faithfulmg4
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I am adopted and asked my mom, who worked with lawyers for some time and this is what she said: You need to first get a lawyer and get guardianship of your daughter while she is with you. Then you need to petition the court for adoption. It seems to my mom that you have a good case. |
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tickled blue
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I don't know....but you need a lawyer big time....one that specializes in family/adoption law. I would get on this immediately. |
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sizesmith
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A notarized statement where you have custody, and she gives up her rights is the start to adoption. You immediately need the following things:
A home study done by a licensed social worker
A good family law attorney who knows adoption law, which is different that one who specializes in adoption. Many times, the one who specializes in adoption is strictly for getting mothers to sign their rights for consent to adopt, and don't care about fighting for custody. If you cannot afford a good attorney, you might be able to get a court appointed attorney through legal services, who will basically represent your daughter.
Also, I don't want to minimize your loss at all, however, by explaining the fact that you lost your son first to an attorney or judge, etc, could be considered to mean that you haven't come to terms with that loss already. The facts are, you have been raising your daughter/niece, and your sister hasn't, and surrendered her parental rights. I'm just stating how this could be construed by an attorney against you. Research every adoption law in your state, and try to keep your cool with your sister, and explain to her that your daughter doesn't know her as her mother, however, the more you both get along, and keep her life stable, the better. Your needs should be second to your daughters needs/rights/wants. Good luck! |
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Patty
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I would say yes, hire an attorney and you should win. Your sister abandoned her. |
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janna w
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After 6 months of no contact the court considers it to be child abandonment. Go to court =) good luck! |
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Mamma D TTC #2
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#1 Get A Lawyer... Preferably one who specializes in Custody or Adoptions.
you will need to prove abandonment, and that she is unfit to be a mother. if she signed anything saying she gave up her rights, weather it is official or not will show her intentions. |
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Possum
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You obviously have a heap of grief issues about your son - have you dealt with them??
(I don't think you have)
This child - your niece - will never be able to fill that hole completely.
Why can't you be a supportive and loving sister and aunt?
Why do you have to rip them apart??
So you can have your joy??
I'm sorry - you've gone through so much - but I've lived separated from the mother I grew inside of - for 39 yrs - and nothing can ever make that hurt completely go away.
You need to see that your own wants - are blurring the lines here - and you are not thinking of what is best for the child.
Unless actual harm is present - a mother and child SHOULD stay together.
Why can't you help them??
Your sister was thinking of you when she first decided to give you her child - but probably didn't know how painful it would be for her.
You know what that pain feels like - of losing a child.
DO NOT SEPARATE THEM - unless it absolutely has to happen.
You need to seek some counselling - as it's quite obvious that you are still grieving deeply for your own lost son.
Don't make your sister go through that pain. |
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Jamie J
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The chances are 50/50 that this could go either way. I'd definately employ some legal council if I were you. If she gave up her parental rights then you have more hope than most but the United States justice system is a joke so prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Good luck and God bless you. |
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Crucio
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Since you did not legally adopt her it is very possible she could get her back. You really should have made sure that you legally adopted her. You can still fight it although you might not win and it could be drawn out. Which could be bad for the child if say this custody battle goes until she is 5 or 6 years old, you lose and she has to go back and live with her biological mother who is pretty much a stranger. I suppose the fact she has barely been involved in the child’s life could help you out. You will seriously need to think about this it could divide your entire family.
You will need to contact an attorney if you decide to fight.
I would support you I just don't think a parent gets to decide when it’s convenient for them to parent. If your sister wanted to parent this girl she should have done it not decide 2 years later she is now ready to do so. |
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spydermomma
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Oh honey, I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. Since you started out with that and it really isn't relevant, and since you took in your niece so soon afterwards, I'm pretty sure you haven't given yourself a chance to really grieve and heal from that. Please take some time to do that, it will help you be a better mom and a happier more whole person.
As to your niece/daughter. The whole situations seems tragic and I feel for everyone involved, especially the child. I think you and your sister need to work something out so that you are BOTH involved in the day to day raising of Brooklyn. You are the one she thinks of as mom, but she really needs her real mom also. She needs both of you! Ideally you would all live together in one big, happy family, but other variations where Brooklyn has you both in her life on a stable and ongoing basis will work. It sounds as if you are more stable than your sister, so it will probably be on you to work this out. It would be the best thing for the girl you love so much.
Wishing you the very best of luck! Stay Strong! |
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Shano
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you sister totally abandoned her! two years later she comes crawling back? no. youve been all the mother this child has ever know, and hopefully ever will know. GET A LAWYER and protect yourself and this child. even though she is your sister, she obviously didnt want her baby and she made her choice. good job on getting it notarized that she gave her rights up- its a start. defiantley get a lawyer! good luck!! |
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Jessie Lynn
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it's been 2 years... in my eyes you are her mother now!
my niece's father abandoned her and my sister 3 years ago, and after one year all parental rights can be terminated.
now my niece is 4 years old and has a new daddy.
she doesn't even remember her real dad.
go to court with a good lawyer and i pray everything goes well for you and YOUR daughter |
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IZZIE
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Omg I am soo sorry for everything you been through . To open up your heart and home like this you must be a remarkable person . I am so sorry the egg donor is being such unconsiderate animal . Get a lawyer asap and fight like hell to keep your child ,,bc she is your child no matter what anyone says . The law is on your side bc I think its abandonment after 6 months . So tomorrow go see a lawyer that speacial in child adoption cases . Hopefully you guys can get the evidence you need ! I am rooting for you and I wish you good luck ! Izzie xoxo |
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Glinda W
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Get a lawyer...plain and simple |
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starry skye
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You are in the right here. Your sister can't walk in and out of this little girls life whenever she feels like it. You have provided your daughter with a stable loving home and everything she needs for the last 2 years then you will win full custody. Unfortunately you are going to have to go to court but it will swing in your favour. You need to get yourself a good family lawyer. You need to keep that public notery too because it does mean something. Its in writing and thats exactly what a judge will want. Your sister may be entitiled to visitation rights in which case she will be paying some sort of support for your daughter unless you go through the whole adoption process. The cost of going to court can get rather expensive so I would suggest applying for legal aid to see if you qualify. Also, I would try posting this question again under law and ethics. Might be more helpful for you. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I have been through family court myself and it can be very, very stressful but where I am from, judges are not very kind to people like your sister. I hope this is of some help to you. You DO have rights and you have the right to exercise them. Best of luck hun x |
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Lillie
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I am so sorry you lost your son.
You know the pain of losing a child...so can you for a moment consider that your sister is feeling that SAME LOSS?
You won't be losing your niece forever...unless you choose to continue fighting your sister, in which case if she WINS, the resentment and anger will ultimately cause a rift between the two of you that is so great, your sister will probably never allow you to see her daughter again.
DO THE RIGHT THING.
You lost a child...your sister did too.
You can still be this little girl's aunt, you can still have her in your life, and you can do the right thing and ease the hurt in your sister's heart...the hurt that YOU KNOW because you ALSO lost a baby.
if you could get your son back, wouldn't you do anything possible? Wouldn't you want it more than anything?
So why are you doing this to your sister?
DO THE RIGHT THING. THIS IS FAMILY!!!!! |
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Christopher G
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as stated in answer #2 . . she abandoned her . . this is like a marriage . . abandonment . . is automatically divorce . . no grace period . . just divorce . . adoption .. is similar . . the mother from what i understand signed all writes of Brooklyn to you . . notarized . . thats good u have that . . what else do you have to prove all of this? get it all together . .and go consult with an attorney that specializes in this matter . . good luck . .and hope you keep YOUR daughter!! |
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stillamyerick
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her just leaving the child in your hands is considered abandondment and as far as the courts see it, it will likely fall on your side because now she has decided that she wants the child so like what if she doesnt want the child again. thats how you should go about it.. She is the one who left , she should be the one to prove she can take care of the child forever~ |
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♥♥Princess Abby♥♥
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omg..dats sad..but yeah you might get her..she never took care of her..so u need 2 keep her. |
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trudimiller64
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you sould get to keep her since you had her for 2yrs and the mom didnt have anything to do with her for that long i beleave your a great mom to her so take her to court its not fair to you or YOUR kid that now your sister wants her back |
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Independ"ant"
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Sorry sweetie, you're going to be forced to give your niece back to her mother and I would suggest the sooner the better for the child's emotional well being. She's only 2 and most likely the time you spent raising her will be blip in her memory. She'll always have you as an aunt as nature has dictated. Sorry for the loss of your child and its great you were being a good aunt to her as well as helping your sister out. Be careful because she could quite possibly turn around and press charges for kidnapping if nothing was drawn up by an attorney regarding guardianship. |
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