I have a friend who believes his ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his child, she wants to give the baby up .?

MamaKate

Dear Kasha,

I was kind of waiting to see if someone else gave you this information, but I feel better just typing it out to be sure you have it! Unfortunately, especially in the US, fathers have the cards stacked against them.This is what your friend needs to do:

Your friend needs to register with the "PUTATIVE FATHER REGISTRY" in his state (and every other state that has one if he wants to be really safe) IMMEDIATELY.

***PUTATIVE FATHERS REGISTRIES FORCE A FATHER TO "CLAIM" THEIR ALREADY RIGHTFUL PLACE AS CHILD'S PARENT***

Your friend NEEDS show support for the mother during the pregnancy by attending any medical appointments (if she will allow him to come) and helping her pay medical costs associated with the pregnancy and delivery. KEEP RECIPTS!!

He should be present at the delivery (if possible) and SIGN THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE.

He should ask for a paternity test as soon as possible.

He should keep records of his actions, interactions with others involved, and any and all paperwork. (IE: Receipts, letters, phone logs, etc.)

Your friend should have a plan for parenting his child and a healthy and able support system. (Parenting classes, etc.) KEEP RECORDS!! He shold be prepared to show this plans to the Court.

I would also suggest that your friend retain a lawyer

If he needs assistance with his child he can get assistance through his local social work program. (DSS, WIC, etc.)

Your friend has every right to raise his child and receive assistance to do so from the child's mother (child support, etc.).

Try running a Google search on "Natural Family Preservation".

Also encourage him to get in touch with some Father's Rights Groups. Fathers for Justice (F4J) and Fathers Supporting Fathers both do great work!

Best of luck to your friend!

PS: I hope that your friend does gain custody that the mother will eventually come around and be a positive part of her child's life and that your friend will encourage and allow this!

ETA: I forgot to add that he should check local papers regularly to look for notices by publication. If she manages to have the child in secercy and tries to place the child, most places require public notice given in cases of adoption with an unnamed father.

Also, if you have "Safe Haven" laws, your friend should file a claim with your local Courts just in case she tries to dump the baby at a firestation or hospital. "Safe Haven" laws seem to have forgotten about this type of possibility.

bakfanlin

He can order a DNA test, and if he is the father, he can claim parental rights and refuse to give them up when she elects for adoption.
He would then have the option of adopting the child himself, and would have a better chance, being a blood relative.

momma2gle

He needs to go to the Attorney General's office in your county ASAP. They should be able to get all the paper work that he needs to file for possible paternity so they can ORDER a DNA test once the child is delivered at the hospital. He has the right to raise his child, especially if she isn't ready to raise the child herself. He just needs to make sure that he gets all of it taken care of now. If he doesn't, it would be a whole lot harder to try to track down a child that's been adopted and do the DNA thing... etc... Hope that helps!

sizesmith

There is a little known law, called the punitive father registry. He will need to register with that. In our state, and others that I'm aware of, you go to the clerk's office in the courthouse (it would be the same that records adoptions). There you register that he is the father of the baby, and wants to assert his rights. It will be necessary for him at this point to either open an account, or prove some way that he is trying to support the child financially. This will really help his case legally.

Also, send the mother a registered letter stating that she doesn't have to raise the child, that he will since she doesn't want it. State to her that he forbids the child being given up for adoption.
At the hospital, he'll need to register at the nursery, as close to the due date of the baby as possible. Give them a letter, stating that no adoption on the child should take place, that he is the father, and that he wants custody of the baby. He'll need to set up a place for the baby to sleep (a bassinet/portable crib will work for the first month), to show he has started to provide in his home for the child. Legal aid should help him, if he doesn't have the money to help with the child, and for legal fees. Good luck, and if the baby's mother is in a bad mindset, he'll probably need a lawyer.

LaraSue

Paternal Interest (Putative Father) Registry
In Wisconsin, a parent must be notified before their parental rights are terminated or their child is adopted. However, if the child's father is not married to the mother, or has not acknowledged his paternity, or been found to be the father by a court, it may be difficult to locate the father and give notice. The Wisconsin Paternal Interest Registry is a way for putative (possible) fathers to get notice if their child is involved in a termination of parental rights or adoption.

The Department maintains a record of all the males who have registered with the Paternal Interest Registry by filing a Declaration of Paternal Interest. Courts, attorneys, social workers and parents may ask the Department to review its records and either provide a copy of a declaration of paternal interest, or state in writing that no declaration of paternal interest for the child at issue has been filed. The information may then be used to move a child forward to either reunification or adoption.

joe joe

maybe he could talk to family services or the health department about the possibility of getting a paternity test and go from there. i'm pretty sure for adoption to be legal both parents have to sign over their rights, but it is up to her to identify him as the father unless he takes some action on his own.

mellitrell

He needs to get a lawyer. He needs to tell the lawyer that he thinks that this girl is pregnant with his baby and when it is born he wants a paternity test done. He can work from there if the baby is in fact his he can ask her to sign away her parental rights so that he can raise the baby.

Minnimouse

I dont nkow how but he needs to get in touch, either via a friend or directly. He may even benifit from doing some research on adoption get some books out and find articles that state how it would be more benificial for the child to stay with a biological father. Of course he has to be financially stable and all that. Then he needs to have a quiet discussion with her, explaining that it's not about them anymore and their history it's about the child and what's best for it. I hope he can talk to her, it is really hard for the male. I guess at least to start with they need to be able to identify that he is really the father and that can only be done through a DNA test.

CRISTAL J

If he is the father they need to have his permission to adopt the child out. He would have to sign papers.

When my son was adopted the father had to sign papers even though he raped me. It was the law.

StacieG

She cannot proceed with an adoption without the biological father also surrendering parental rights. He has a right to find out (through DNA) if the child is his and fight for custody if he chooses to. This would be a good website for him to start the investigation into the process of determining paternity & parental rights: http://dhfs.wisconsin.gov/children/PatIntReg/index.HTM

I hope this helps! Good for him for wanting to parent his child.

MoniSka Rulez

The better solution is this: they need to talk, and off course, u need 2 pleople to make a baby, not 1. he has the right, and if he wants to keep the baby he should. She needs to talk to him right away!

Crystal Rolen

He needs to take her to court or contact a lawyer for advive. If he believes it is his, he can request a dna test. if it is his..the child cannot be put up for adoption without the father agreing to it.

matthew v

d.n.a. testing . to pove the father that,s law to

mom of many

I live in WI also. I know for a fact he does have a say in this. The first thing he should do is besides get a paternity test done whenever this is supposed to be done. And perhaps get ahold of social services or a lawyer and let them know of her possible plans. They will see that is is made aware of all plans. He needs to stay involved, possibly going to all her doctors appointments. Maybe take some parenting classes. Everything will help to show he very much wants this child. when the time gets closer he would be expexted to show he has decent place to live with child and can support the child and have potential daycare ready for when he works or needs to get out a bit.

lovetocheerjcasxo

he does have rights, but the adoption can;t really take place unless they have the signature of the birthfather. the only way the adoption can take place is if the mother(your friend.) says that the birthfather cannot be contacted.

marissagautier

well if it his they would to go to court for the rights and if he wanted the baby the might give it to him unless she wanted to give the baby to someone else they would talk about it then decide who to give the baby to.

GEE-GEE

He absolutely has rights. The first thing he should do is go down to the court and petition for a DNA test. It is the only real way to make sure he is the father or no. If he is, then he can petition for full custody. In most cases it would be hard for the man to get custody put if he can prove that she does not want it, and is planning to put it up for adoption, he will have a strong case.

Your friend should start taking notes, writing down dates, and anything he remembers about hearing about how she plans to put it up for adoption. If he can he should ask friends to right letters etc. if they hear anything about the adoption. That way he has more witnesses etc.

blue eyed devil (aka devilhue)

if poss get the social involved. citizens advise for easy answers, then sent a socicters letter. poor guy dont deserve this

momof3boys

Yes if a paternity test reveals he is the father he can contest the adoption and file for full custody of the baby. It would be best for him to get a lawyer now to consult with and file papers close to the duedate so that once baby is born that test is run.

â™¥Alice_Cullenaitorâ™¥

If she considers an abortion tell her:
"Baby's have Fingernails" - Juno

Michael D

It is the mother's choice. Thats the law

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