I have a question.?

BPD Wife

Two things that stand out in your story....the children are now adopted and the biological mother gave up her parental rights. Based on this information, it is my understanding that your friend would not be able to get her children back. Most states have laws that protect the adoptive parents once the parental rights have been terminated. My best advice would be to have your friend call the local office of social services and see if this is an option for her. The goal of Family Protective Services (or whatever it is called in your state) is supposed to be to put families back together. HOWEVER, they do this BEFORE placing the child in an adoption setting. Once the adoption is finalized, it is my understanding that it is almost impossible to reverse it. Check with social services though.

punxy_girl

Depends on what you mean by "made to give her parental rights up". If someone held a gun to her head or threatened her physically, she might have a chance. Otherwise I think that she is out of luck. Maybe the cousin would consider visits-a sort of open adoption.

Still Me

There is only one answer: Do what is in the best interest of the children! You don't say how long ago the boys were adopted. But if they are well taken care of, stable and loved, why would anyone want to interrupt their lives? ADULTS have to take on the pain, not the children. Missing the kids is not a reason to take their security and normalcy away from them (if that is what they have). She may have made a decision she deeply regrets, but don't make the children pay for it. Stay in contact with them, love them, know them, contribute positively to their lives, but let them have the life they have, if it is a good one. Of course, if the cousin is a bad parent, abusive, addict, etc., then that's another story! Be a good Mom by giving them the best -- whatever that is, and whoever that's with.

moosies

There's always a possibility, she has to prove that she's a stable person. It may take a long time, and a lot of $ on lawyers

cagney

wow. first i don't understand how she was "made" to give her rights up. many states will allow the children to be in the care of a family member while the mother gets her stuff together. and i'm glad she did, but i'm lost as to why she gave up her rights so quickly and willingly. by law in most states unless she can prove she was threatened with her or her boy's lives or manipulated in some other form in siging away her parental rights, a court will not overturn that decision. and often for good reason. i'm sure she misses her boys, but she was the one that made the decision to be in the situation she was in to have her children taken away. while i'm very happy she has turned her life around, i do not understand how she was forced to give away her rights. she needs to look at how the boys are doing, they're in a stable home and doing well. she needs to think of them, probably much like she did when she signed her rights away.

dilligaf1414

You have many good questions and concerns. Drugs, young children, extended family, homelessness, business, laws, CPS, etc. Sounds like a tornado waiting to touch down. Get assistance from your local community services board or welfare office.
Have a Nice Day:)

baby gril 1212

well the things are you told us she gave her rights up ?????? right well if thats the case it wold alredy be hard to get them back in the first plase the seccond thing is that thay are adoupted well i dont think there is a very good chance to get them back in that case i am sorry to say this but if it is her familey that adoupted them and thay cuse to transfurr cousted then it is a possabilty but if not well there is little to no chance she can get them back sorry but this is the truth

pinkprincess051180

Well I am a child of a similar situation, but my grandmother adopted me (my mom's mom) and my mother was not able to get custody back. She tried very hard, but since the adoption was final there was nothing she could do. BUT when the kids reach 13 they have the option to say who they want to live with and providing the mother is stable, drug-free, and has appropriate housing she has a chance- Until then the mother can only hope for visitation. Good Luck!

Susan G

As far as I know once the parental right have been severed and the adoption is finalized there is nothing she can do. And that is the way it should be. The system gives the bio parents a chance to change, if they choose not to then too bad give their children to some one who will take care of them properly. Not to mention that you friend is still only thinking about herself. SHE misses them, SHE wants them back but hey who cares what is best for them, huh?

julie77_00

I know what your friend is feeling and trust me she will just have to wait for the kids to get old enough. the only thing i can say is have her talk to the person that adopted them and see if she can at least see them if not by herself then with them around.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: