I have an adoption situation?

Jennifer L

Hi Whitney:

First, let me say that there is nothing wrong with wanting to seek out your first family. It's a very human need to desire to seek out our own roots and learn where we came from.

It doesn't mean that you don't love your adoptive family or that your adoptive family is lacking in some way. Really, it has nothing at all to do with your adoptive family at all. Like you said, it is your business.

The problem comes with helping your adoptive parents understand this and not feel threatened or worried. Parents want to protect their children. That's also a very human instinct.

As an adoptive parent, my recommendation is to try and talk this out with your parents. Help them understand that this is very normal, very understandable and also very healthy. There are many books out there on this subject. Education can help overcome fear and insecurity.

As a minor, your search options are rather limited, without your parent's support. You may have to wait until you are 18, if I am understanding the laws correctly.

Best of luck to you in your search.

sk8ermom

In most states your adoption records are sealed and your birth records are forged documents with the real ones locked away for ever :( There are websites that you can register on and if your mom is looking for you then you can connect. Given your age I would think your Adoptive mom knows a lot more than she told you. I don't know how much under 18 you are so its hard to advise you. You should be a bit older because you need to know that not all birth parents want to be found and not all reunions are happy. I hope you find your birth mom somday so you can know for sure.

mrs. derek jeter

well i am also in your position. i have trouble talking to my parents about it because its a little awkward and uncomfortable for me. i actually knew nothing about my adoption until i found a ton of adoption papers in my mom's closet. i went through them and now know almost everything i needed to know.

i think your mother might be worried that you might leave her and go back to your biological family. just reassure her that she is the mother that raised you to be who you are today and tell her that its your life that you want to know about. you cant be living a lie your entire life not knowing anything about your past.

good luck!

Nala

Mum's not Angelina Jollie is she?

MeggiesMama

Reassure your mom that she will always be your mom, no matter what. She was there for your entire life and you love her and she will always be your mom. Of course, she's worried that you could get hurt especially if she doesn't know a lot about your birth mom. Tell her that you don't feel complete and that it's really important to you to know what your biological family is like. But if she still feels that you aren't ready try to respect her wishes and tell her you'll wait until you're eighteen, but by then you'll be mature enough and more than capable of handling whatever comes from finding your biological mother.

Good luck, hon!

val_tess16

you could either go to the hospital you were born at and get your birth parents names or go to the adoption agency you were adopted from.

Paige S

try to find out where you where adopted from and they can pull up your records

hope i helped

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