I just adopted a 27 month old a year ago, I'd like to send him back. help!!!?

Sarah M

It sounds to me that everyone is judging where they shouldn't be. With that being said, I don't know that you can just send the child back. And yes, you're money is GONE! Being a parent is hard, whether you've adopted or given birth to him/her. Children who go through adoption have usually had a rough start to life and simply need an outlet. Seek professional help. I know that a child can affect the marriage, but your marriage has to be able to withstand. I'm not going to be like everyone else that answered your question and tell you that you're an idiot, horrible person, etc. BUT I will say that I don't agree with the fact that you want to just "send him back!" That is absurd! You definitely need some professional help with the child.

Randy B

You ran outa points to post more questions on your other account eh? Its tough being a troll. I'd say you are pooched either way.

Mady's mama #2 due 12/16/09!

wow you are messed up...it sounds like you should give him back because you don't deserve him....ever heard of terrible 2's??

Serenity71

Anything I have to say is designed to try and help you...I hope you read it that way.

Have you tried a child phycologist yet. Children who are adopted later often can have bonding issues that can last longer than anticipated. (One of my friends went through similar thing to you, her son is now a well adjusted toddler about to go to school next year.)

Forget about the money you spend and focus on your child. You're going to spend more money raising a child anyway. After all he's part of your family now so its time for the both of you to find ways to get to the bottom of his behaviour and work to love him, have him FEEL that you love him. He deserves it, he;s just a toddler who's had a rough start in life. And have your husband attend with you, its important for a boy to have a father role model in life. Once he understands whats going on he can help too with a better attitude.

I know its hard at times after years of it just being the both of you, its a huge adjustment when you finally become parents.

My eldest daughter had a biting problem. It began when her sister came home. It was hard to try stop her from doing it her baby sister. I was pulling my hair out thinking I'd tried everything. And I had, I just didn't understand why she was biting her everytime my back was turned.

Then a lady styling my hair in oneday in the salon suggested it was child anxiety. My little toddler didn't understand her own feelings about her all the attention her new sister was geting so her outlet for it was biting. Once I knew why... I could work on the solution. She no longer bites her sister, or any other child. Lots of love and quality time solved it. (She was getting the time with me before, but I had to do it alone with her occasionally or for at least 1/2 hour in the day.)

Hang in there Mommy...

All the best

mindi_lee_83

if he was 27 months old when u adopted him then it was your responsibility to teach him about the world ! you failed him not the other way around ! yes ur fee's are down the drain and so is morality !! he was 2.5 yrs old so only just starting to realize what things are around him !! now 3.5 years old and u have stuffed up his life !! obviously disregarding the needs of a child that age and now because you couldn't do your job you want to send him back and stuff him up more ! i don't know what would wreck this lil boys life more .....u keeping him or sending him away again !! send him 2 me !!! i'll love him and teach him about life !!!!!

gma

TAKE HIM TO THE JC PENNEY RETURN COUNTER IMMEDIATELY

BUT MAKE SURE YOU USE THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING WITH UPC CODE AND BRING YOUR ORIGINAL CREDIT CARD

IDK!!

<---- not buying it.

eagledreams

Really and truly what did you expect. Gift wrapping and a perfect angelic sweet creature to land in your midst. If this child has been to hell and back already in their short life you neither seem to know or care. There is help out there and who knows you might find you do actually have the perfect bundle who is finding you equally difficult at this moment in time.
There are a thousand parents out there who would be so happy to have the opportunity. So yes sure send him back, add to the mess in his head, and I just hope someone who deserves him will arrive to collect.

HappyMomAnna

That's a hard age--and it's hard on Any child to have a newborn sibling come along. It's very sad that he hasn't got the love and support to feel secure and go through the new baby sibling routine with his family.

I honestly hope you are a troll. I think you do need to help this child find a safe place because this sort of feeling and attitude is not safe for him. I think you need to call the Crisis Line or contact DHS as soon as possible.

You may have the New Baby Blues and children this age are a handful, terrors and not safe with pets... The new baby you just had will be a non-stop toddler one day too.

You need to ask for Family Preservation Services and start getting some help for the situation. Things don't just fix themselves right up. If this little boy needs medical or mental health, therapy or services that's what a mother is supposed to help make happen. Your family needs some family therapy yesterday!

It really starts with you and your attitude and if you are this miserable then no one is going to be what you want them to be even if they knew how. I would talk to your OB-Gyn and let them know how you are feeling about the adopted child. Postpartum Depression can be dangerous and you may need some real help.

If you are having these kinds of feelings about this child and need some help Please call 911 or the crisis line. This little boy is 2 years old and his whole life just changed right with yours--he doesn't feel like an outsider--he feels like a big brother being left out and called Nasty... I would attack the cat too if I were him and had No One Safe to comfort me...

Please get help right away--you are not safe to be taking care of your oldest son at this time and any child living in a home with a father who doesn't acknowledge him and a mother who resents and doesn't like him needs to be protected. I don't know how you would expect a 27 month old to deal with life when No One was there to help him deal with life--but, it must be horrible for him. Can you even imagine being treated this way?

What if your husband brought home a new wife and you were treated like yesterday's story--in a home where no one even acknowledged you or helped you understand what was even happening? Who would you find security with? And what would you do? I would guess, you would do more then just attack the cat!

Likely, you would pitch a fit and act nasty if your husband brought home a sparkling 23 year old woman and then acted like you were poo! I bet he would then feel completely justified to love the 23 year old wife, because you were a terror, attacked the pet and acted down right nasty about it. So mean he didn't have much choice but to assume it was time to send you away... He would just think you had a problem with hottie wife number 2, wouldn't he?

Get help for the whole family.

karcnr

Sadly I have heard of this happening before. If you are not able to provide the love and support this child needs, maybe it is best to place him for adoption before he gets any older. There are many families that would love to adopt 'special needs' kids.

Firefly

I am sure you are frustrated but I want to tell you something.
I am a birth mother. Yes, I placed my son for adoption 14 years ago and not a day passes that my heart doesn't ache and wonder where he is, how he is and if the adoptive parents love him.

What are you are talking about is a slap in the face to someone like me. This isn't a puppy that you return to the shelter if you don't like it or it messes up your furniture - this is a child a human being who deserves your love and patience, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES. Marriage is affected due to the child? Try to work it out, if not, keep the child, lose the husband. Who knows what that baby has already been through, he needs your love and support and patience MORE THAN ANYTHING. He needs to know that you aren't going to ditch him at the first sign of trouble, he needs YOU to teach him that family will always be there and that being family means sticking around during dark times. That is YOUR JOB as his mother.

I was very young when I had my son, if I could do it over again I would have kept him, God help him if he has an adoptive mother who gets frustrated so easily and wants to 'give him back' if things don't go the way she wants. God help him....

Daisey Duck

Wow I am so thankful you weren't the ones who adopted me. As an adopted child at the age of almost 3 I had emotional issues would throw tantrums and such. But my parents didn't give up on me. With a lot of love, understanding, patience and yes discipline they were able to help me overcome the problems and helped me to control my anger and separation problems and the problems brought on by the abuse I had received.. It didn't happen overnight it took time. But thank God they had the love and understanding to do so. And yes sometimes older children are jealous when a new baby comes into the picture, but it is the parents JOB to make the older child feel that they are just as important and just as loved as the new child. He might feel that you don't have time for him. Try more one on one time, sit and talk to him tell him that even though you have a new baby you still love him and that he is still just as important to you, you have to show it as well as say it. Even at his age he will be able to understand if you show him you mean it.

realmom lese

Guess "the kid" didn't serve his purpose and mold into the perfect kid he would've been with your lovely DNA.

Too bad he cost so much. Maybe next time you could buy a clue.

straydog

Sounds to me that they let two idiots adopt a child. A child needs care and nurturing not somebody that wants to have a baby just because it is fashionable. I personally think any body that adopts a child should have child care classes and pass a written test before they get a child.
I also believe anyone that adopts should have a home check periodically by the adoption agencies for safety checks on the child.
Don't be so selfish and give the kid some love and affection he needs it just like you do. The way it sounds to me you and your husband should not even be able to adopt a pet.

â™¥â™¥Mum To Superkidsâ™¥â™¥

Trade him in with the other child you wanted to return. If you put the two together you should end up with one pretty cool kid.

Jessica

this should have been thought through before the adoption. you need to learn to discipline the child.

music mends

i would go to a professional. or contact a show like nanny 911. it's possible this kid acts like this because he was abused, or neglected and is acting out for attention.

theresa m

what if you had a child of your own and he was a not well behaved would you send give him away too! you are his mother toughen up and deal with it!!!

Floor

could lead to an educational psychologist or a psychologist .. it is a child can not leave it lying on the street like an animal!

drkangel210e

I really hope this question isn't for real... In any case, YOU are the one responsible for this child. He's been through a lot at a very young age. You knew this when you adopted him and now he's showing all the signs of attachment disorder. Instead of judging him for things he can't control and kicking him out in favor of your biological child, why don't you get some help for him and yourselves? You're the only parents he really knows. Try to act like it.

Elizabeth's Mommy

omg, that is the terrible twos, your husband is an idiot if he didn't know that so are you. someone please call child protective services, this mom doesn't know how to raise children!!!!

AdoreHim

There are biological children, that act this way when they are 2. Have you heard about the terrible twos? Did you also realize that a child that is adopted at that age, may have experienced some hard things in his/her first two years of life? Also there could be some jealousy with the new baby. This happens in a lot of families. If you thought adopting a child was going to be always easy you are living in a fantasy land. Both your hubby and you, definitely need to see a counselor, to learn how to cope with your children. Your new child will become 2 not to long from now too, and I pray you won't be asking this same question about him or her.

Having Fun

TOUGH!! He's yours, deal with it. He's not merchandise, he's a person who obviously has some emotional problems and needs some support. do your job. You so don't deserve kids.

Trent

This is an April fool's prank, right?!

Halo

You can't "return" a child. That is down right disrespectful. How would you feel if you put your child up for adoption and the family "sent it back"? You need to contact your adoption case manager and talk to them about this. if you really can't handle it you can put the child up for adoption, but you wil more than likely never be granted gaurdianship of another child again.

Erica F

u can give him up for adoption and give him to me! i would like to adopt a child!

Philippa

You and your husband are the adults here so should have taken the time to prepare yourselves for potential problems. It's your son I feel sorry for as he needs love, patience and discipline in his life and by the sound of it you haven't made a very good attempt to help him fit in with your family. He is a young child so the way I see it the problem is with you two not him as he is too young to take full responsibility for his actions. He needs proper help and if you're not prepared to invest time and effort then you don't deserve him and he deserves a family that will love and help him.

Hello Peps

Wow you can't rangle in a two year old by now. At 27 months you should have been able to mold it to your families way of life and behavior by now unless it is a crack baby or retarded or something.

I don't believe in medicating children except in extreme conditions but try a parenting class or something.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: