I need help with a decision?

I am due july 26th for my 4th child. All threw the pregnancy i wanted to give her up for adoption. I am not financially stable nor am I in a goos situation for another baby. I have trouble keeping work and raising my other 3. I love them with all my heart and could never imagine life without them. my bf of 12 years agrees on adoption but now that i am closer to my due date i am scared and may have changed my mind. he made the remark to me today if it was a boy he would never give him up. I was under the impression it didn't matter what it was we just couldn't handle another child. I am scared alone and confused on what to do. I have no family to turn to and all his family has to say is give me the baby. I wish I could keep her inside me forever and tell everyone to go away but I can't... any suggestions?
Additional Details
My daughters are both 10 yrs old( 10 months apart) and my son is 6.
I went threw the process of paper work to get my tubes tied and I will def. follow threw with it.
I don't know my bf's family very well at all that want the baby and I really have no interest in knowing them. They are much older than me. I don't know if I could handle seeing pic's of her but having the option is always good I guess.

Gaia Raain

Seriously, keep your baby. My older sister was in the same position as you with her fourth child. She cried through 8 months of her pregnancy. She was so scared of how they were going to make it, being a minimum-wage family with three kids already, in a small apartment. But she couldn't give up her child. A (the baby) is now 8 years old. My sister's family is in the crapper financially, but they have each other. We grew up poor, so it was never a question. Even though it's scary to live in poverty, your baby deserves to live with you, and be loved by you. Even if you have to eat popcorn for dinner some nights.

sunny

Keep your baby, and get those tubes tied.

Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot

you sound like you're going to regret it if you give her up. I have a hard time give up some of our foster kids though, so maybe I'm not the one to ask.

MamaKate

Dear Blue,

Please THOROUGHLY research adoption and its possible effects on you and YOUR CHILD(REN) - this will effect ALL of them - before you make this decision.

Financial problems are temporary.
Adoption is PERMANENT.

Make sure that you and your family will be able to handle EVERYTHING that adoption entails before you make your decision.

Good luck and best wishes to you and your family - I hope that you find the solution that is best for all of you.

ETA, Here are some blogs you may be interested in:

First Mothers:
http://musingsofthelame.blogspot.com/
http://exiledmom.blogspot.com/
http://birthmom1986-confessionsof.blogspot.com/

Adoptees:
http://chezblot.blogspot.com/
http://adoptedjane.blogspot.com/
http://amyadoptee.blogspot.com/

ETA2: PLEASE DO NOT ADOPT YOUR CHILD TO SOMEONE FROM THE INTERNET.

SOLACE

I THINK HE IS BEING SELFISH IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FINANCIALLY BEING STABLE HE JUST DOESN'T WANT HER BECAUSE ITS A GIRL.I THINK WHERE YOU CAN FEED THREE YOU CAN FEED ONE MORE THERE IS ALOT OF DIFFERENT PROGRAMS AND EVEN WELFARE COULD HELP YOU WITH THAT CHILD.DON'T GIVE UP YOUR BABY BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU TOO.A CHILD ALWAYS NEEDS THEIR MOTHER.

GEE-GEE

This is only a question you can answer. I can tell you to keep your child because it is the natural thing to do, or I can say give it to a couple that can't have any and that you need to concentrate on the kids you have. But it doesn't matter what we say. You need to find the answer within your own heart. You will have to live the decisions you make.

Steph

It's really only a decision that you can make...trust your heart to know what's best, not only for yourself but also for your unborn child. I'm definitely an advocate of adoption (my husband and I have been trying for a few years) but I also don't think a mother should ever give up a child that she feels any sort of doubt about her decision. Email me if you need or want to talk...many blessings.

TTFN10000

You have to think about it really carefully and be able to come up with a decision you can live with . Would his family let you see the baby if you broke up with him ? These are the questions you have to ask before you hand the baby over to his family because it can get messy.

If you give the baby up maybe you can do a semi private adoption where you are able to see the baby once in a while photos etc. Yu get to know everything is OK.

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