I need info on conception and adoption?

PhilM

Before you jump into adoption, please do some reading. Here are some must-read books:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Lost and Found: The Adoption Experience" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

celtic.piskie

If you want to adopt, then grieve for your infertility first.

Your doctor can help, there are many different forms of IVF.

But an adopted child is not YOUR child.
They will not be able to ease the pain of infertility, and should not be brought into a family to do so.

Being adopted for a purpose like that, is terrible. I know, because that's what my parents did.

If you truly want to adopt a child, then go to Foster Care. These children actually need homes.

In places like Mexico, women are persueded to give up their children for VAST sums of money.

Please don't buy a child.

Read a few books, and spend some time in the adoption forums, talking to perople who are adopted.

Good luck,

Mom to Foster Children

Please be sure that you are adopting because of the needs of a child and not the need for you to have a baby. If it's being a parent that you want / need then I would suggest adopting from foster care - these children need homes. Please do research on it as adoption is not all butterflies and cupcakes - it's hard on children and their families. Please if you do adopt always keep in mind that they had to loose something for you to gain something and that they do have another mother / father - you are not there to replace these people you are there to do what they couldn't do or were tricked into thinking they couldn't do it.

MamaKate

Dear I.I.,

Do you know the cause of your fertility problem? If it is not a physical issue have you considered trying some of the holistic approaches to conception?

Acupuncture
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/acupuncture.htm
Herbal Supplements
http://www.earthclinic.com/CURES/infertility.html
Aroma Therapy
http://fertility.amuchbetterway.com/aromatherapy-sweetest-way-to-boost/
Meditation, Relaxation, Yoga
http://yoga.lovetoknow.com/Yoga_Postures_for_Infertility
Even more...
http://health.howstuffworks.com/alternative-medicines-for-infertility.htm

There are lots of natural methods of increasing fertility (pharmaceuticals often carry greater risks than these methods) if there is not a medical cause. Perhaps trying some of these could help. (I personally know of a few success stories using some of these methods! I hope they will work for you too.) Sometimes the biggest hold up for conception is being too stressed out about it.

If you do feel that you are interested in adopting, PLEASE educate yourself well! You have gotten some great links from other posters. I hope that if adoption is for your family that you will seriously consider adopting a waiting child from foster care.

I sincerely hope that you find a "bun in the oven" soon, but I wish you the best of luck to you and your husband as you venture into parenthood - whatever way you end up growing your family!

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Don't throw in the towel after only two doses of Clomid. If the Clomid is causing you to ovulate, then your doctor may be thinking something else is going on and that is where the IVF is coming in to play.

If the Clomid is not causing an ovulatory phase....well, my doctor increased the dose (probably not wise). I eventually did conceive and then less than a year after delivering that child, I had another. Come to find out, had I decreased my body fat ratio and taken a thyroid pill, I would probably had conceived without fertility drugs.....All in all, it took over five years for me to get pregnant. Once I finally "gave up" and said I had had enough, I found out I was having my son.

To answer your question, as several have already said, adoption is not the replacement for conception. As said, a grieving process must take place before venturing in to adoption. The adopted child can never fill that void, and he or she shouldn't be expected to.

Should you decide to adopt, I encourage you to consider adoption from foster care....many may disagree though. This is where the need is and also does not cost a lot, if anything.

There is also a book I read a long time ago reagarding conceiving and found it very helpful.

Here is the name and author information:

Getting Pregnant: What You Need To Know Right Now (Paperback)
by Niels Lauersen (Author), Colette Bouchez (Author)

Best wishes to you.

cmc

We adopted after infertility. Actually we talked about adopting before we married, but wanted to try to have a bio child first. When that didn't happen we moved to adoption. We did IVF, including using donor eggs. It is stressful and expensive. Personally I was relieved when we moved to adoption since it was no longer "my problem".

We researched adoption by taking a class and attending a workshop on adoption. At first I thought we would do fost-adopt (adopting through foster care) but we wanted a young child (under 5) and were discouraged by our county since they have a lot of older children. We decided on domestic private adoption, and adopted a baby three years ago. We were lucky to be chosen only a few months after completing our homestudy. The first mother generally chooses the family so the wait is unpredictable. We wanted an open adoption, so my daughter would know where she came from. However the first mom did not want ongoing contact. So we can get in touch with each other if needed, but we only met at the hospital when my daughter was born.

Fost-adopt is very low cost. Domestic adoption is about $12,000-$25,000, and international is about the same. With international the children range from 6 mo to 6yrs, but most often even an infant will be 1 before coming to the US.

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