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Gershom
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go immediately to www.originsusa.org and contact them, they have a free msn message board you need to register with and they can guide you.
or go to www.adoptioncrossroads.org and speak with joe soll he is in chat there every night at 11pm EST.
He has a list of lawyers taht will fight for you and your child.
I don't know what state you're in, what the revoke period is but you need to ACT NOW. Don't let another minute go by, once that revoke period is up, its up.
GO NOW!! |
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Heather B
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Oh yee gods. Did you place your child under duress?
This question has been answered for you already. You must do everything in your power to get your baby back in your arms; you are his mother and he deserves to grow up knowing that you loved and wanted him
Ignore anyone that says 'pity the adoptive parents'. You don't EVER owe your own flesh and blood to ANYONE and are in no way obligated to them, particularly if you were pushed up in a corner to place your child in the first place
Best of luck to you and your child. You are not alone - there are a whole group of mothers and fathers out there fighting for the kids and it boggles my mind to know that there are 'loving' adoptive parents in this world who would keep a child like a possession for themselves when they can clearly see that the real mother wants to parent - there is something really morally messed up with that mentality
Big hugs and never doubt your strength |
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Julie R
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Go to http://www.origins-usa.org/ NOW. Not later, not tomorrow. Now.
Whoever told you it would get easier, not harder, was LYING to you.
And if the adopters are already making stipulations, they plan to close the adoption. Count on it. Arrrrgggghhh!! Some people have absolutely no moral values! |
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rox
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You should add that you feel you were rushed and pressured into the decision while talking to a lawyer.
God, I really hope you can get him back!!!!!!!! You MUST act now, and you must got the origins website, please please please please.
DO NOT MAKE A DECISION ABOUT YOUR BABIES WELL BEING BASED ON THE FEELINGS OF THE ADOPTIVE PARENTS.
My god, that is NOT what adoption is about, to please fragile, desperate couples in need of a child??? If the adoptive parents truly love this child, they will understand that the child ALREADY HAS A MOTHER, and that the only reason for the adoption, for the child to lose their original family is if there is NO OTHER WAY.
Every GOOD adoptive family should be rooting for the biomom to find a way to keep her child, they should be ecstatic to know the child is ALREADY wanted and loved and that the child doesn't NEED adoption in order to have that.
It is horrific to me when adoptive parents loose sight of that and become completely absorbed in getting a child no matter who gets hurt.
There are some really amazing adoptive parents out there, and then there are some who terryify me with their self absorbption. PLEASE, fight for your child. Do not let frightened adoptive parents sway you from what your heart says. Your heart knows!!!!
I hate that it is legal to obtain a child from a woman who has not had genuine counseling about the negatives in adoption, the risks involved, and the options, emotionally, phsychologocally AND financially that are available to parents to help them keep!!!!!!!!!
UGH!
In any case, if you need someone to talk to, please feel free to e-mail me.
n-mom, and adoptee |
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snowwillow20
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It never gets easier. See a lawyer. |
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Isabel A
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Your baby spent almost ten months bonding with you while you carried him inside of you. He knows your voice, your smell, your heartbeat. You are his mother and if you want him back, you should at least try.
Good luck. |
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guardmartink
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this is going to be a legal issue.....get a good attorney |
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Joy M
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Whatever you do, or decide to do, please don't do it out of some ridiculous obligation to the adoptive family, children are not supposed to be like objects, there is no, I paid fair and square and this baby is mine.
It hurts children to be separated from their mothers it is morally wrong of adoptive families to keep children from their natural parents out of selfishness, if the mother can parent, she should be allowed to.
No one should stand in her way. |
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CaliTransplant
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I would check with the laws in your state. I know in California, you have 6 months from birth to change your mind, no questions asked. But in Hawaii, as soon as you hand over the baby, that's it. I know this from experience. Check with your state. Don't let anyone try and talk you out of it either. That's what the placement agency did to me, they made me feel guilty and told me how devistating it would be to the adoptive couple, so I backed off. HUGE REGRET!!! Now that I think about it, the agency would've gotten paid if I took her back. Follow your heart and check with your state laws. I wish you all the best. |
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concerned
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What state are you in?
Honestly, your revocation period has most likely expired. (In most states it's 30 days or less.) HOWEVER... that doesn't mean you should give up. Contact Origins. Document everything you can think of (prenatal care you got, contact you've kept with your child/the aparents since the birth, everything). Get your medical records from the hospital. Get your records from the adoption agency. And contact a lawyer to see if you have a case for relinquishing under duress.
You do NOT owe it to anyone to leave your child with the adoptive parents. You owe it to YOURSELF and your BABY to explore every avenue of getting your baby back.
I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you.
I hope you're successful in getting your child back.
(((Hugs))) |
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Luna
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Take someone's decent advice now!Cuz if u don't act now,you'll never get your son back! |
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GuessWho
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It depends on what state you are in. In some states it is 6 months, other states it is a year. Some states may be less time. I would contact the attorney or agency that handled it. Make sure that this is the right decision for you and your son. I wish you luck, but you should be able to get him back. |
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Crucio
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The only way you can get him back is if your reclaim period has not expired. If it has then you’re just out of luck. An attorney should be able to find this information out for you. |
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#1 finally here!
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i think you legally have some period of time to change your mind. Talk to the agency that assisted with the adoption. If they wont tell you your legal rights, talk to a public defender. |
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girlwhowasadoptedin49or50ithink
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Since he's still very young, it may be possible.
See what Gershom says. I guess we're all on one of the search groups together! |
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Elizabeth
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I echo the comments saying you MUST to whatever it takes to get your son back.
Your son needs you. Mothers are never replaced. Never. You are his only mother. The only mother he will ever need or want.
I hope you get him back as soon as possible before more damage is done. |
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dory
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Yes, listen to Gershom - she knows what she's talking about. Act now! And don't listen to those that drone on and on about how the parents have attached to the baby. This is about ou and your baby - not the adoptive parents. You carried this baby for nine months - you are this baby's natural mother. Go fight for your baby! |
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jade_frost82
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I don't know the laws in your state... but I can tell you that you need to find them out. If you can, find a lawyer. Contact the origins site that a lot of the other posters here have given.
FIGHT!!!
That is your child, YOUR SON. Do whatever you need to do to fight to get your child!
You are the best mother for your child. You are the only one with the biological/genetic bonding ties to your child.
I hope for the best for you and your baby.
Please, no matter how tough it gets, fight. You can do this.! |
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daisy mcpoo
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It might be pretty difficult. And you aren't the first person to regret your decision. But whatever your reasons were for giving him up in the first place, if those reasons are still valid, you should really consider whether you want the baby back for selfish reasons, or you genuinely think you would make a good mom and your situation has changed drastically.
I was an adopted child from birth, and you should understand that the parents who have adopted your child have already formed a very strong attachment to that baby just as any natural parents would. For all intents and purposes, they are his parents now, legally and emotionally. |
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sunny
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I would have given the same advice as Gershom.
This is your baby. I am adopted, and I wish my mother had the fortitude to get me back.
DO NOT listen to these people who tell you the baby has attached to the APs. He will NEVER get over the loss of his mother.
Just push ahead and get your kid back. If you can't figure out the adoptioncrossroads.com chat room, just call Joe, the numbers are listed on his site.
Good luck, and get busy! |
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IronJaTrusa
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I'm sorry to hear you made that decision! There should be a way to get him back. Go to the agency and talk to them. See if they found parents and if they didn't you should be able to get him back a lot easier. If he already has new parents it is going to be a battle but try and see what happens. If you are a good parent the kid is better off with you! |
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grapesgum
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Hang in there. Do NOT give up - get your child back. He will thank you some day. I cannot believe that these adopters would take advantage of you when you were in a vulnerable state of mind. Talk about selfish, narcissistic, undeserving people! And people dare to call you selfish for wanting your own son.
Get in touch with:
http://www.origins-usa.org/
Motherhood is forever. You will be reunited with your son. |
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April
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I am a birthmother and I know how hard this is for you. If its a snap choice you made and you have not gone to court to give your child up you can still try to get your child back. There is alot of proving and time you have to wait though. They would take your child and put it in foster care and some one else would help make sure your choice is right. Please Please do not take your child back untill you are 110% sure this is what you want to do. The adoptive parents are going to suffer when you take your son back so make sure this is the right thing and stick with it. |
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Possum
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You have to try everything you can to get YOUR baby back.
Take Gershom's advice.
Your baby is better off with you.
Your baby has already bonded with you - for WAY longer than the adoptive parents.
Fight this with everything you have in your soul.
It's what's better for your baby and for you.
Your baby WANTS to be with you - and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
You'll be a wonderful mother. Get to it!!
Good luck.
Poss. xxx |
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dcdaniel1968
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Everyone makes mistakes in life. This is a very serious one though. Make sure this time that this is what you really want cause a lot of people will be hurt. All the hurt you are feeling right now is the same hurt your about to inflict on the adoptive parents. Make certain you are ready for that. If you are then get a lawyer and go get your son. Good Luck. |
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sillylittlemonkee
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In my court papers it stated I had 6 months to contest the adoption. You still have time ti fight for him back. Contact an attorney immediatley. I pray for you to have more strength and God's hands on you. |
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Need HELP
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I wouldn't think so |
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Dark_Fire_Angel
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Well if you did an open adoption then yes you have options. I still had my full rights even though my little girl was with a foster family. I had to go in front of a judge to get my right taken away. If you haven't willing giving your rights away you still have them and you can get your son back. If this is really want you want then you shouldnt worry about the feeling of the adoptive paretns it's your baby if this is what you want then go for it but please remember this is a permenant decision you can't go back after this. |
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Angela R
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This really depends on the state that you live in. In some, as soon as you sign the papers to relinquish your child, you can not change your mind, and in others you have up to 6 months. You should ask an attourney in your state as soon as possible.
If by law you still have time to change your mind, then yes, you can reclaim your child. You said that you love the adoptive parents, and they are being wonderful to your child. If you are able to regain custody, perhaps you could do the same for them that you would want, and send them updates of your son over the years. It never hurts to let your child know that there are a couple more people in the world that love and care for him too. |
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Rachael C
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It depends on which state you live in. Most states you have 6 months to change your mind. Didn't they tell you any of this before you chose adoption? I would go to a lawyer and talk to him and see what your laws are in your state. If you can get him back then do so if that is what you want. Do it before he is older though. |
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Tara <3
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I'm not sure? I suppose you have to follow your heart on this one. Here's a question for you--- If you try to get him back and fail.... do you care how this will affect your relationship with his adoptive parents? This is a tough situation!! Because any way you look at it someones heart is going to be broken! You will be in my prayers. Good luck with whatever decision you make. |
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