I see a few people calling themselves "real moms," whats a fake mom?

Gaia Raain II

Pamela Anderson comes to mind. And Joan Rivers. Whoa, man. Talk about fake.

P.S. I could be wrong, but I don't think they're saying anyone else is "fake". They're just sick and tired of people denying their realness. A woman gives birth, she is a mother. Period. Don't like it? Take it up with Webster.

ETA: I have to add that, for a 14 year old pregnant drug addict, the BEST thing she could do would be to get off the drugs and learn how to be a good parent to her child. Giving the child away doesn't solve the problem, and it doesn't make anything better for anyone. I couldn't imagine being happy that my mother gave me away because it was just too much work to get clean and sober.

BLW_KAM

This issue has been battered around here many times. I keep it simple and turn to Merriam-Webster for the definition of a parent:

1 a: one that begets or brings forth offspring b: a person who brings up and cares for another

If a person has done 1a or 1b, they are real. Anyone else is fake.

It's hard to argue with Messrs. Webster and Merriam.

miss mazie

A fake mom is one who enjoys the title but isn't a real parent.. A real mom is a good parent.

kidmindi

IMHO there is no such thing as a fake mom, just different kinds of moms. There are biological moms, adoptive mom, step moms, mommies. mamas, and foster moms...not to mention the "moms" that aren't related but come into a persons life and help them along the way

Lori A

To some I am a fake mom because I surrendered my daughter. I see things differently. I AM my daughters mother. No one else is entitled to my position. She is of my flesh and blood. I made her, created her, nurtured her as she grew inside me. No piece of paper is going to change that.

However, I am not my daughters mom. I was not there when she needed a mom, I was not there for her to see, depend on, or call out to, HER MOM WAS. Two very important titles shared by two very important women, her mom and I. If you are raised by your biological family those titles refer to the same person. If you are adopted it is possible that those titles belong to two different people.

some people like to split hairs over who is more important and who gets the glory. In our situation we have learned to share. Her mom is the one who raised her, her mother is the one who made her. (this directed to those who like to bait)

I love the pic's. the first one really cracked me up. Now there's a fake mom.

monkeykitty83

I think most people understand that both adoptive and biological parents are equally "real," and have roles in their children's lives.

In certain cases, people seem only able to claim their own motherhood/fatherhood through denying other people's motherhood/fatherhood, but I think, while inappropriate, that speaks to deep insecurities, whether the mothers/fathers doing that denying of others are adoptive or biological.

In general, though, I think most people in this section get that adoptees have two "real" sets of parents-- those they share genetic ties to, and those who raised them.

cantstopLinnyG

To call EITHER of my Mothers "fake" is insulting. They both have different roles in my life. They are both real. I would be just as insulted if someone called me a "fake daughter", no matter WHICH mother/father they were referring to.

If one of my Mothers decided to call Dr.90210 and drastically alter their appearances, they would still be my mother. Freaky looking, but still my mother.

Mama to 2006 & 2008

LOL - as a mom of two c-section babies, I laugh at the idea that I didn't "really" have kids. To the Real Mom, I appreciate the sentiment, but real moms do what's in the best interest of their babies (and if you're a 14 year old addicted to drugs, giving away your baby to someone who will love him might be the best thing you can do).

A real mom does what is best for her children. If she knows that she can raise her child, she doesn't choose drugs, partying, men and alcohol over her child or children then that makes her a real mom. If she knows that she will choose those things over her children then it makes her a real woman and mom to do what is best and give them to someone that will take care of them and love them. A real mom makes the best decisions for her children. She meets all of their needs and some of their wants. She makes sure she raises them to be well adjusted children. If she knows that she can't do that and gives them up for adoption that doesn't make her any less of a mom. She is just doing what is best for her children and that's what any mom should do.

A fake mom is someone that neglects and/or abuses her children. She loves having the title but isn't willing to do the work. She doesn't care if her children have food to eat, clothes to wear or a home to live in. She will just keep them for money and attention.

Heather B

A substitute.

All my parents are REAL (natural and adoptive) one does not negate the other.

Carol c

I have to laugh at the responders here who care about nothing except denigrating mothers who lost a child to adoption. Actually, it's not even funny...it's pitiful that instead of responding in an intelligent and thoughtful way, they feel the need to bring up that if a woman didn't raise her child she is not a "REAL" mother. How very insecure and desperate sounding to be considered 'REAL'.

All I know is that my son with whom I have been reunited with for 19 years, introduces me to his friends as his Mother - in fact, he's insightful enough to openly tell people he has 2 mothers - one that adopted him and another who did what that one couldn't - carried him in her womb. And that one was me, so I guess I'm real. And all that really matters anyway is what my son thinks - not an insecure adoptive mother who just can't share her "toy".

icehockeymom7

The way I see it, my adopted daughter has two "real" moms. Her natural mother, and her adoptive mother. We are both her real mothers, and to take that away from either of us would be wrong.

Helena B

1 who is expendable.

gypsywinter

To the OP...I know it's Friday....Party Time!! on Yahoo Answers!

To the person who thinks she is all that...and that only 'real moms' keep their kids.. Get over yourself already. Sheesh, you sure have a giant ***** for mothers who surrendered a baby/child to adoption, don't you? The only 'trash' I see here...is the words you are typing and maybe the person who is typing those words! Grow up or find another 'category' of people to grind your self-righteous axe in and about...

ETA: ""A woman giving a child up for adoption isn't a mother, but is a good woman for putting the child in a family that wants it""
O! you don't think I am a 'mother', but just a 'good woman'..Really? I think the only one who has the right to decide if she is a 'mother' or not, is the woman herself... So I carried my child for 9 months, gave birth to my own child, had no choice in 1964 to have an abortion or keep my own child...just the supposed choice of adoption...and I am not a 'mother'? Pray Tell..what was/am I? An incubator, a walking-talking womb, a baby vessel, a 'breeder'? I am my daughter's mother and my daughter considers me her mother (reunited for 10 years)...it is not for you to determine who is a mother and who is not...you may have an opinion, but that's all you have.

Sophie

There does not have to be a "fake" one... just because people say they are "real". People may have many "real" moms in their lives.

poohgirl

A fake mom is someone who raises someone else's child and tries to convince themselves that they are indeed the mother, when in reality; they're just playing house.

A real mom is someone who grows a child in her womb, nurturing it from conception and going through hours of labor to give life to her child. Mothers who surrender to "aps" are still the REAL mothers, they just got lost somewhere along the way and made a mistake.

myst1998

"Real" mothers are women who have given birth. This doesn't mean there are fake mothers, just mothers who have not given birth but hold the title regardless.

It also doesn't mean that all "real" mothers are necessarily good. Some are, some are not but they are no less a mother just because someone is angry with them. Mothers who abuse their children or fail to protect them bring disgrace and shame on the title... but they are still mothers.

Even a mother who loses her child to death or as an infant to SIDS or stillbirth is considered a mother regardless if she has any other child or not.

In most places, if you adopt, then you become an adoptive mother. If you foster, you become a foster mother. If you give birth you become mother. It is the adoption industry that has come up with ways to degrade a mother who loses her child to adoption... and so we see the English language being changed. Casual references are often made to real mothers being those who have given birth in the real world. This doesn't mean people who say it (and many have been adoptees) see the adoptive mother as any less real - until certain adoptive mothers decided to use it against natural mothers.

I don't get why adoptive mothers need to be seen as the 'real' mothers? They have the title of adoptive mother which states clearly, without any ambiguity that they became a mother through adoption which is the truth. Why the need to cover up the truth?

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

LOL.. LOL so hard.. LOVE the pictures.. and your point.

GOod on'ya

Veronica

lol

fake moms are baby breeding bots...just having babies to give them away, like robots...

kinda like the first robot on the first link, lol

Real Moms Raise Their Children

Real moms don't give their children away. They keep their babies and brave whatever obstacle comes their way in life. Real moms raise their babies, whether it's the birth mom or adoptive mom.

A real mom knows and respects the bond that she and the baby share since conception. A real mom never gives away a baby as if it's a piece of trash. A real mom is there for her baby all the time, and does what it takes to keep the baby safe from any danger.

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