I want to adopt a teenagers/womans child.?

â˜…Kaylaâ˜…

uncommon, yes. illegal, no.

no, it is not unethical (in my opinion).. you are a stable adult who can provide a better life for that baby than a teenager can at this time-- and if the teen is going for adoption or abortion anyway.. then it's definatley not unethical.

don't say you're looking for a baby to purchase, becasue that is illegal but you should also know that if you adopt the baby you are responsible for the medical costs though.

p.s. my husband and I are atheists and he really wants to adopt a child as well some day.. maybe this is a route we should try approaching.. i never realized that your chances decreased if you weren't a christian, i guess you're probably right.

grapesgum

It depends on where you live. In some states in the US, it is illegal.

Are you looking for child or a baby? Most teenagers keep their babies. There are 40-100 couples vying for every available infant. The competition is fierce and, in most situations, the mothers choose the parents and want a married, religious couple.

It is a common misconception that there is an abundant supply of babies and that they go to foster homes and orphanages - most are snapped up right away.

I get the feeling that you have not researched the complexities of adoption and strongly suggest that you understand what you are getting into before you place your ad.

ETA - This may be the new America where not everyone is a Christian (I'm not either), BUT most people who place their babies for adoption choose the adoptive parents based on information about the parents lifestyle, home situation, religion, and marital status. Most of the people are looking for married Christians because they perceive that is the most stable situation for their beloved baby. I'm not saying it's right - just trying to provide information about the process and that odds that you are up against.

Flying Monkey #073177

Children born to young mothers do not "just sit and rot in foster homes, and orphanages and be unloved". For every newborn available for adoption there are literally hundreds of people wanting to adopt him or her.

The children rotting in foster/group homes are considered unadoptable, often due to their advanced ages, ages of oh... say, three and up. If you want to adopt I suggest looking into foster to adopt where you can actually give a home to a child who needs one. Let the others looking to adopt fight over the newborns like rabid beasts.

Gaia Raain II

It may not be illegal, but it most certainly is unethical (which you already know, considering you're questioning your tactics already), not to mention disgusting and low. Other women's children do not exist to provide you with happiness. Have your own. Women should be supported in keeping their own children, not preyed upon by others who want a baybee but don't feel like dealing with pregnancy again.

ETA: You mistakenly assume that just because someone is a teenager, she "doesn't want" her child. That would be a thinking error. Most unwed teenage mothers WANT their children, but they are convinced, by people like you, that they're not good enough. If people would support them rather than tearing them down, they would keep their children, love their children, want their children, and be the best mother they could possibly be to their child. There's no need to separate mother and child.

And your misuse of my name, while cutsey, shows your utter lack of maturity, which I'd think would exempt you from being worthy of adopting a child who needs the utmost amount of sensitivity for the fact that s/he has already lost everything s/he knows and loves.

Harriet

Talk to the foster care department where you live and ask them about adoption

Harriet

kateiskate

In some states it IS illegal. It is considered solicitiation.

If you really want to adopt another child, go through the foster care system.

But before you do that, please EDUCATE yourself and learn about adoption and how it affects kids. For example, please don't ever refer to your kid as freaking "unwanted". He'll have enough abandonment issues without you tossing that label on him too.

And um, orphanages? There are no orphanages in America. And more often than not, teen moms keep their babies. And even when they do surrender them, they usually WANT their child and LOVE their child but someone like you who is looking down on them, tries their best to convince them that their child would have a terrible life with them and is ultimately better off with APs.

Maybe you and that "great man" should consider procreating yourselves.

Oh, and one more thing? Agencies LOVE Christians. I don't see why you'd have a problem adopting from an agency. If they all turn you down, I think it's completely wrong for you to try to take a child from a young mother. Ever think maybe God doesn't want you to have kids?

'Insert name here'

Yes in short, depending where you are. Try adopting from foster care. Those domestic adoption websites in the USA are just awful...'can we have you baby because were infertile please and only a baby will do' is the vibe they give off. There are plenty of beautiful children needing adoption from within the foster care system in the USA and UK.

mom of many

you have no choice but to go thru some sort of agency as you have to have an adoption home study and be approved by the state to adopt. You can find your own child to adopt but still must get approved first. Plus, they will not allow two single people to adopt one child. You could adopt or your boyfriend could but not the two of you together.

Philippa

It is illegal in the UK - all adoptions have to go through social services or adoption agencies. However it is much cheaper here to adopt anyway.

Heather B

It's totally illegal here in the UK because it's unethical solicitation.

But I don't think it's illegal in the USA, so it's up to your own conscience I guess.

To me it's just like advertising yourself to scam artists, so dont be too shocked when that happens. Just saying'

infants would never be left to 'rot' in foster care - there are long waiting lists full of people demanding infants and they're snapped up fresh from the womb whilst the older children (the ones who really need homes) are left to 'rot'

myst1998

I don't think you would be chosen by a mother to raise her child. You are to mean-spirited and immature.

Surprisingly, despite what crazychick says, I didn't see many mothers responding to you; most were either adoptees or adoptive parents who are mature and have gained wisdom you obvioulsy do not have.

And I agree with one of the other answers here who asked what makes you think you are entitled to raise another MOTHER'S child?

You have much research to do if you want to make an intellectual, wise and mature decision.

And Gaia, you rock :)

another YA!

first of all, i know that not all teen mothers children goes into foster care, and since you are going to be lawyer, you should know that its any age of womens children that go into foster care.

second, its great that you will have the time and money to take care of more children but do you think you should get married first? most people who want to place their children up for adoption want a married couple. but if you want to adopt a child out of the system, that would be great.

Helen B

kayla got a lot of thumbs down from bitter people but i agree with her.

~*~Ashley~*~

Oh my Lord, she did not say that because a teen is a mother that the teen doesn't want the child.
She said "teenager whos pregnant and doesnt want to keep her baby".
Good grief. And for that one person who said "ever think God didn't want you to have kids?"
1. She doesn't believe in God. Read correctly.
2. She already has two children, and I'm sure she's a very good mother.

crazychickizback

It is neither illegal nor unethical. Please don't let the bitter birth mothers bring you down. Its actually a fairly efficient way to advertise. I would also suggest advertising in low-class clinics and near high schools. Good luck, and remember-you'd be doing the birth mother a FAVOR. not all of them turn out as bitter as the ones attacking you. Most that I've known were actually quite grateful

#2 on the way!

Speaking as a teenage mother myself, I can honestly say that it is really hard and alot people don't have the strength to do it. Many teens consider abortion, but I think if they saw that their baby was wanted somewhere else, they may change their mind. I don't think it's wrong or unethical to want a child that would other wise be unloved. I also happen to be an adoptee and I can say that orphanages are not a pleasant experience. With all the children who are without loving parents, I think it's great that you want to take a child in.
Good luck.

Herrrrrres Johnny!

Please don't listen to Gaia. People who think like her are the reason that there are so many poor, irresponsible teenage moms who keep their kids even though they don't have enough money, resources or time to care for them. People who try to make adoption look bad are sick. If it wasn't for adoption (and yes my mom was a teenage mom), I would have been aborted.

allchildrenareangels

Well good luck in your adoption journey. I understand your feelings. I have biological children and we want to adopt. :0) I think it is a wonderful thing. In your situation I would look up adoption facilatator. I don't think they judge on religion. Another way you could go which is the best way financially would be to go through foster to adopt with your state. Good luck.

Love,
Michelle

joey

It isn't uncommon where I'm from. I find ads in my local classified's all the time, 3 or 4 a week. It would be much less expensive than registering with an agency, and if you include the details you've given us, you will have good luck, I'm sure.

LYNN W

no it is not illegal. There are many couples that go this route and then get their own lawyers when they find the mother since it is much easier than going through an adoption agency. Just be sure you do not mention anything about buying the baby. I know you have no intentions of this but those ads ARE illegal.

sizesmith

Many newspapers won't allow ads for adoption to be placed. We were going to consider it, but it required a letter from our attorney stating what phone numbers were going to be used, before it could be considered.

When we were introduced to our son's first mom, it was a chance thing, through a friend of my son (her mom's best friend).

It's a sad fact that many teenage moms don't place their children at birth. They just end up there after years of abuse and neglect. There are many more children in the foster care system even at birth than people think. Unfortunately, many are placed there with older siblings, because parents get overloaded with their children.

Do a lot more research, network with family and friends, and good luck. BTW-there aren't orphanages in the USA.

Shan

i wana be adopted. :(

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