I want to adopt a toddler. Why is adoption so criticized on YA? please read...?

Randy B

You have to keep in mind that in a public forum like this you are going to get all sorts of opinions. Nothing wrong with that but at the same time some people are very passionate about their stance on the issue and they tend to either "drown out" or shout down those who don't agree with them or who don't share their views/outlook. If you are truly interested in adoption, do some research on how to do it in your area, set your goals and follow through.

I agree with you that in many countries like yours (and in India where we adopted from) the orphanages are not the most desirable places for a child to live and they desperately need loving parents to come forward to adopt them. I've been to these places and experienced them first hand. I wouldn't wish them on anyone, not even some of the people here.

If you are committed to being one of those parents that makes a difference in a child's life then you are to be commended. I'm not able to help you at all with the Mexican system other to encourage you to follow your heart and you won't go wrong.

windy city

"I convinced my hubby"

You should not need to convince anyone. If he is not 100%, please don't do it. The child will KNOW he's not 100%.

Freckle Face

Dear M,

Uneducated prospective adoptive parents is a huge criticism on YA. Stick around listen and learn. We tend to grow on you:)

Mei-Ling

How can that be better?

Because it's never guaranteed.

Not saying it can't happen - but that adoption does not guarantee "better" education, family and opportunities.

celtic.piskie

Because people never listen to opinions that don't agree with theirs.

There are many issues that come with adoption, just from being adopted.

The best thing you can do for your prospective child, is listen to people who have had a bad experience.

Don't you want to prevent that for your child?

Most A-parents never listen to people that have had a bad experience. Which is why we have to shout, to have our voices heard.

We have been adopted.

We know what it feels like.

Listen to our opinion, and make it better for your baby.

Cool Hal

No one wants to be adopted - even those that support would never say I wanted to be adopted. Most people on here do not have a problem with adoption from an orphanage. But they do have a problem with people trying to buy babies or support organisations that bully people into giving up their children so that they can raise them.

For every genuine question (like yours) there are several that are from ignorant people who think they can treat children like a pet.

I am not sure what you mean by no way of finding out the biological parents - does that mean the child was left at the orphanage? or does it mean that the law does not allow adopted children to find their bio parents? Your son may have questions and you should help him find as much information about his bio parents as possible.

Good luck.

Rachel.

my little sister is white, mexican, and italian. she has met her mother a few times. she knows she is adopted she was adopted at a 1 1/2 old shes now nine. and shes very smart. her mother is a drug user. we know nothing about her father. and im glad we gave her the life other people could never give her. shes amazing and i love her so much. and its hard growin up not knowin who your real parents are and why they dont care about you. so my parents spoil her more than us. lol. but its a good idea. and my family is all white. she once asked why her skin is tanner we just told her its because she was born tan. and she has beautiful skin that we all want ;D

BLW_KAM

I had to convince my hubby too. You know what? He was the one who cried like a baby when he first held our daughter. While I smiled, he cried. Men just need a good shove sometimes, but then they jump on-board.

If you're set on being an adoptive parent, it's important to be the best one you can be. That means reading and learning about how it feels to be adopted, telling your child the truth, not withholding information, not making up fairy tales, listening when he/she wants to talk about his/her natural family, helping him/her search for his/her natural family even if you think it's futile, not letting insecurity, pride, fear, or jealousy get in the way of doing what's best for her/him, and the list goes on.

Not everyone here hates adoption, but all of us hate bad adoptions.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

if you're husband isn't into it? don't do it.

amym1031

I adopted a chid from Guatemala. She is the love of my life. Good for you for giving yourself and child the opportunity to share love with each other. I wouldnt care what anyone on yahoo answers says about your adoption or adoption in general. It is a loving choice to make.

Common Sense

Adoption is a great idea...

Wife and Mommy to 2 little girls

GO for it i think its a GREAT idea!!!

how did you go about adopting in mexico? we are mexican (my hubby was born in puebla) i am an american citizen and my hubby just past his citizenship test this past april!:) i want to adopt in mexico. (not racist or countryist lol) but it is our culture and language and we could raise them american but still teach them about thereheritagee. anyways my husband and i want to adopt also and i posted a question a couple of months ago about it and people said rude things like mexicans have strong families and there are none to adopt of why did i just say mexico what about all the other countries. so can you give me some info? please and thank you:)

CherishTheMoment

My best friend and her brother were adopted from El Salvador. Her mom couldn't take care of her because of her Cerebal Palsy. Don't let what others say about this topid bother you. I have seen the happy side of adoption. My friend in high school gave a speech in class about her adoption and why she was adopted and why her birth mom couldn't care for her.

nana

I agree, you should not care about what other people think about adoption, if you have decided to adopt then go ahead you'll see that you will change a life of a child for the better.

Good luck, and don't be scared, adoption is the best thing someone can do for an orphan child.

Pilgrim Pam

Follow your gut, do what you feel is best. There are going to be people from every angle of adoption telling you one thing or the next, many of whom can be rude and ignorant, but as I have said before, you will need to toughen up in order to survive here. Take all things mentioned with a grain of salt. I have also come to the conclusion that the more level headed the answerer is, the most sincere it is. If it is angry and bitter or sticky sweet it probably is only meant to sway you one way or the next instead of giving you an honest opinion.

yeahright

Good for you! Good luck and well wishes. Don't be afraid--there are so many opinions and many people who want to express them. You are right to fully investigate and I've found the very negative posts here have prompted that I need to look deep inside myself, my current family and understand the root cause of why we want to adopt, how children define themselves and a full emotional view of what a child might feel in this process. I can't help but to think through the joy that I would feel about having another child in our family means possibly--even likely- causing someone--or several someones--some extreme life long pain. I hadn't seriously considered that as deeply as I might have until I saw some of the deep consuming bitterness I've seen on here. All I can say is that some bio children have issues too--we all have our crosses to bear. AP's can be bad parents as can bio parents. Every, and I MEAN EVERY, situation is different.

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