I want to adopt, but...?

dancer255

Be sure he is not using the money issue as a smoke screen to put off something he doesn't want just so he won't hurt your feelings. He owes it to you to be truthful.

If your husband really wants to adopt and is just worried about funding an adoption the link below is to the National Adoption Foundation. Most adoption don't ask for the entire costs of the up front.

They have a link about funding an adoption Maybe be you will find your answer there. Either way I hope everything works out.

So_Cal_QT

Having children (natural or not) is a gift. Money should not matter. It may be a bit of an expense upfront, but in the long run, it's a drop in the bucket. I am an adoptee. My adopted parents could not have made a better decision than to adopt my and my brother (3 yrs later). When you hold those children in your arms, the money you spent will be worth every penny. Give your husband time. He'll come around. At least he's open to it. That is half the battle.

vickyg_892008

adopting is a fantastic idea but did u know that also the cost maybe expensive but also u get money too because my mother has adopted four of us and she is like a millioner...

Taylor

1 of my sisters is adopted. My mom was so happy and my dad wasn't (because of the costs AND about the kid finding out about the birthmom and birthdad). My mom and dad finally compramised: They did foster care. They didn't have to adopt right away. Two years after my sister lived with us we adopted. I suggest you do foster care first and then youc an always adopt the kid.

jooooy.xo

well i'm very younggg lol , so i'm not planning on it soon , but i just wanted to say, you adopting kids will be great! don't worry about the money, try to talk to your husband about how many benefits it is to have a new baby, have a life rather then for it to go threw a life with no parents, it'd be a lot better then any cost! also thanks for adopting it's such an amazing thing, when a child is put into a HOPEFULLY better home :] good luck.

Amy A

Maybe you should become foster parents first. They pay you to do it and you get to have children who really need you. Maybe having the children around will change his mind about adopting.

TaxMaven

The average adoption costs less than the average new car, but most people have no trouble convincing themselves to buy a new car every 2-5 years. Even international adoptions can be had for $15k or so. If he just doesn't want to adopt/want more kids, he needs to own up to it, not blame it on the money issue. Btw, social services will often pay you to take kids off their hands. However, I would not go through social services, so I will not judge you if you don't.

day_day

well....if i were to adopt and my husband wont aprove....i would ask him many times...or if that dosent work make him sleep on the couch until he wants to sleep in your bed.

MuchLuv,-DayDay

bdaz2001

Many of us who adopted had one parent who was not as Enthusiastic about this plan in the beginning. I did most of the research - and figured out some options for getting the money (loan against our 401K).

If he is really against this then let it go for now - if he is just worried about money look into the Tax Credits out there. It makes a big difference.

Then - do some other research on what kind of adoption you want to do (Domestic? International? Foster to adopt?).

It is ok to take the lead - if he is willing to adopt at some point.

hampsterandrabbitforever

I personally wouldn't adopt now that i have my own baby. I would be afraid that id be biased or one child would feel slighted b/c the difference in looks and such (for example your daughter and adopted child get into an argument and your daughter screams SHES REALLY MY MOM NOT YOURS!!) that situation can be very hurtful to a child.My half bother did this quite frequently when i was young so i know first hand. most people dint seem to ever actually think about the adoptee Ive found, but consider how you would feel in the situation. Or your natural daughter for that matter, i think it would be confusing for a small girl when mommy brings home a really different looking baby. Also as a mother who looked into adoption, i wouldn't have given my baby to a person who already had kids, because i think everyone ought to have the chance to at least have one child.Maybe that's stupid, but that's just the way feel. As for the hubby, you shouldn't force him if he doesn't want to. this isn't just what col or the living room is going to be, its a human life that's going to be his responsibility too. Plus if he doesn't want to pay for the baby now why would he later on in life??

KBJ

I have always wanted to adopt too, but my husband says "Why pay for someone elses when you can have your own for less?" We have 3 kids naturally. Its so sad that you can't live a dream because of money or a spouse however there are adoption tax credits that can help out but unfortunately thats not always enough. Good Luck

answergeek

well if you have the money why not but if he is not too enthusiastic i suggest you just forget about it because if you do he will not like that chold who you adopt.

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