I was adopted and would like to find my birth family (mother/father etc.) but my records are sealed help?

Possum

First - add your details to the registries here
http://www.isrr.net/
http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records here -
http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?page_id=39

Check here for search help - and links to search angels -
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found -
http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search.

And to the adoptive parent that is worried about their adoptee one day searching -
IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.
Human's need to see and know those that they look like - act like - have talents like.
You can't be everything to your adoptee.
They need ALL the information - for better self worth and self esteem and self identity.
And they need to know it from the people that they are genetically linked to.
Adoptees usually love their adoptive family like crazy - and are worried about exactly what you have stated.
Don't make your adoptee go through that anguish.
An adoptee had a history before you came along.
An adoptee needs to know their truth.
Don't make it about you - or you will just cause your adoptee further pain.
Adoptee's go through enough - don't dump your problems on them too.
They didn't ask to be in the situation that they are in.
That was all to do with adult decisions.
Your adoptee will also be an adult one day - and to fully develop emotionally and psychologically - they need the space to be allowed to search - if they so wish.

sunny

Register at

http://www.isrr.org

Malibu Ken:

Here's a newsflash for you: you are not enough for your daughter. All the love and money you give her will never tqke the place of her needing to know her truth. Remember, she had a family and a history before you entered her life, and that doesn't change no matter who her APs are.

Gershom

This is wierd, I know an adoptee in my city, daughter of my mothers friend who has the same last name as your avatar. She has never searched to my knowledge. Is this you I wonder? If you live in california totally contact me!

Well either way contact me and I can give you your states searching laws and hopefully some tips :)

nvedukatr

Ditto on ISRR, and also ALMA (adoptees liberation something something)

It took me 13 years and I had to get very creative.

Write a letter to the doctor who delivered you and see if he'll/she'll give you the name of your birth parents. (look on your birth certificate, doctor's name should be there).

My delivering doctor kept a diary and had the last name in there.

Malibu Ken......searching doesn't mean your parents' aren't good enough. Can you imagine going through life knowing no one who is your own flesh and blood?

purple monkey dishwasher

ISRR is the best way to go. You fill out your info and if your birthfamily gives there info as well, you will be matched.

I found my mom through my adoption agency. Do you have your non-id info from the adoption agency? It should tell you a little about your family. My parents already had my non-id , but I decided to contact the agency to see if I could get anything extra. And sure enough it paid off. I was given a letter from my birthmom when I was 14 that she wrote me when I was a week old. It was just a copy with her name scratched out. Well after months of calling the agency, I was sent the original letter on my birthday of all days. It had her real name on it. They also gave me a new copy of my non-id which had her birthday on it. With that info I found her in minutes.

Any little piece of info you can get can completely break your case. So try and get as much info as you can. Even if its a school your parents went to. You can go back and find pics from old year books. If you know your birth last name and the age your mom was when she gave birth to you, you can look up all the woman with the last name that are that age in the town you were born and send letter to all of them.

I did that and after I found my birthmom, she said she had gotten a letter from me previously, but unfortunately the letter had not been sealed correctly so it was just the envelope that came to her house. But even still! It got to my birthmom.

Good luck. But rememeber you ARE entitled to non identifying info about your family. It may not have their names on it, but you can still find out a lot from your non id.

Make sure you register with ISRR!!!!

Feel free to contact me if you need more help!

Jennifer L

Hi there.

There are some adult adoptees on this forum with some great resources and websites for reunion searches. Please keep this question open for awhile.

Best of luck and hoping for a happy reunion for you!

Rainia W

I am in the same boat. I want to find my biological parents, especially now that I am getting older and might have kid of my own eventually, but my records are sealed. The state they are sealed in seem pretty far from opening the records as well.
Most states have a registry that you can join, and if your bp's join and offer information, than you can receive it. In my experience, many birth parents don't know about the registries, or aren't interested enough to use them, so chances are it won't help.

Latina: If the records are sealed, your AP can do absolutely nothing more than you can do.

Terri R

If you post a little more info,it is possible that something might sound familiar to someone on here.......

Ya never know.

Kashi

Who have you contacted already? Your parents should be able to tell you what agency place they went thru. I would call them first. I live in MI and registered my info thru their registry. My birthmom actually registered her name there around the time I turned 18. But, I didn't register my name until I was 30! So, I would definately take the chance to register. Other than that, hopefully the people at the agency your parents went thru have information for you. Mine did. They sent tons of articles and websites to look thru and other options for me getting information. They were able to give me information from my file that didn't identify them and I found out alot of new things. Remember, if you do find them try not to have any expectations. My mom turned out to be great, but I've heard bad stories about how people expectations are shattered.

Miss. Chicka!

ask your adopted parents

Malibu Ken

Why are you searching? Is it just out of curiosity, or do you need a medical history?

Are your adoptive parents hurt or understanding? I don't know how I'll feel if one day my daughter tells me that I'm not enough, and that she needs her birth father.

Loretta

I am searching for my 37 year old daughter.My daughter was stolen at birth.i was told i only had one child a boy but i remember evey minute of delivery.My first baby was a girl I will never forget hearing her cry.then being cursed by the doctor when I ask to see her.He told me to shut my --------mouth,that I had not had my baby yet.There is more but I am at a lose.If any female born july25,1973 birmingham,alabama is searching for her parents.I am searching for my daughter.If you see this you have a twin brother.He Is waiting to find you.waiting ieave a message I will see it

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