I was adopted, now im 18. how can i find out info on birth?

Theresa

Oh my god do not listen to these ignorant people trying to discourage you from searching! Nutjobs, I tell you.

Here's what you do,

First off, register with the International Soundex Reunion Registry. You can download the forms at http://www.isrr.net

Also check out this site:
http://www.regday.org/2008_sites.html

If you live near any of these sites, you can go on Saturday November 8th and meet people in person who will help you register with Soundex and get local support and advice.

Your next step depends on what state the adoption took place in. You can visit here:

http://adopteerights.net/nulliusfilius/?page_id=39

And click on the state where you were born. It will list advice and tips on searching in that state.

A good book too is Lost & Found by Betty Jean Lifton. And if you need to talk to people who've been there, you can come to http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum - it's the best adoptee forum there is with no ignorant nutjobs who will tell you not to search.

Happy Birthday

BOTZ

Depending on where you were born and where you were adopted, you might NOT actually have the right to "find out who [your] birth parents are". I was adopted as an infant. I am 36 years old now and I DON'T have the right to know who my natural parents are.

But guess what? I found them anyway! I had to do a lot of searching...a lot of digging...a lot of praying...and a LOT LOT LOT of waiting. The waiting was the worst part. I was not able to have contact with my natural parents until I was 32 years old -- just 4 years ago.

If you were born OR adopted in the United States, there are currently only 6 states in which you can automatically have access to your Original Birth Certificate just by asking for it when you turn 18. In the other 44 states, an OBC is sealed and an Amended BC is created when an adoption is finalized.

I'm afraid I don't know a lot about laws in other countries if you were NOT born OR adopted in the U.S. I would suggest that you pay close attention if you get an answer from Heather B, LaurieDB...there are other people who are really helpful with search information, too.

Register with ISRR (www.ISRR.net) and 'google' the city/country or city/state that you were born in -- and that you were adopted in, if it's different from where you were born.

Don't listen to people (like Jana B) who try to discourage you or make you feel guilty. She OBVIOUSLY has never dealt with adoption IN ANY WAY and is a selfish twit and doesn't give two hoots about how anyone feels (except herself...as she so 'eloquently' explained how SHE would feel if SHE had raised you...or apparently if she'd raised ME). She (and those like her) also doesn't get that it is NOT ABOUT the parents. It's about the adopted person. WE have two sets of parents. WE have a RIGHT -- GOD GIVEN -- to know all of them.

Take care and GOOD LUCK!

You are welcome to send me an email (by clicking on my avatar) if you'd like me to help you out more specifically. I'll help in any way I can! I conducted my own SUCCESSFUL search with very little information and without the help of my adoptive parents -- and YOU CAN TOO!

Best Blessings!

Heather B

Please don't be put off by the some of the anti-search people here.

Wanting to know the truth of your origins is the most natural thing in the world. Unfortunately many people feel that Adoptees are possessions. You're not, and you have every right to search if you wish.

In most countries of the world blood relatives of adoptees are free to contact each other.

However, in the USA there remains a very archaic system of sealed adoption records - hopefully soon they will catch up with the rest of the civilized world and restore the rights of all it's citizens to the freedom of association promised to them under a democracy.

Anyway, if it happened in the USA (as mine did) there are a handful of States where hard-working Equal Rights activists have brought about changes in the law, but unfortunately 44 States remain sealed.

The good news is that sealed records don't stop people searching and they don't stop reunions (they just violate people's rights) I digress

So, let us know which State and you will get some real good answers from people here who know the ropes.

In the meantime sign up with the biggest worldwide reunion registry:

http://www.isrr.net/

This one too http://registry.adoption.com/

The State should have one also but they usually exclude people born in one State and adopted in another and, of course, deceased people can't register. Many people just don't know about them (what I'm trying to say is that they are not overly successful)

ETA: To search for your origins is neither ungrateful, nor selfish! please let those nasties roll off you like water off a ducks back

Cool Hal

Although I haven't met my birth parents yet I know where they are and I chose not to tell my parents what I was doing. It is your call I am not sure where you live but I went through the agency and found them without too much trouble.

I have known where my birth parents live for a number of years but have only had the conversation recently with my adoptive dad (unfortunately my mum died a few years ago) and he was surprisingly fine about it. I would never tell you to talk to your adoptive parents about it, you know them better than anybody -but if and when you do you may be surprised.

Feel free to email me at anytime and if I can help I will.

However dont be put of by those people who know nothing about it, some of the responses on here are disgusting.

Jana B - I really hope that you never get the opportunity to adopt, my Dad does not consider that anything that I have done has wasted his time - in fact the opposite is true not only is he proud of my acheivements we also have a very good relationshp which I would like to think that I bring something to it. He accepts that adoption for him was a second choice as he and my mum thought that they couldn't conceive. He also accepts that my preference is not to be adopted due to the issues that go with it. HOW DARE YOU come on here and spout poison to an 18 year old girl who has experienced something in life that you have absolutely no knowledge of. I suggest you send her an emailed apology and delete your answer.

Oh and happy birthday for today !!!!

angelic_caregiver

recommended by Dr. Phill is a place on the net' called Ask Troy. God bless and good luck.

mrs. derek jeter

good question, im going to have the same problem in 2 years. i would think you could get in touch with the agency you were adopted through and go from there. or maybe find papers about your adoption that your parents have. i really have no idea =/

why not just ask your parents about it?

Mei

just ask ur parents! they pretty much know everything about you!

Officer Friendly

Find out which agency they adopted you from and talk to them.

Maori Gurl From NZ

That would be very hurtful to your parents not to tell them but if you must. Ring your nearest adoption agency they will steer you in the right direction.

Alencia

do you realize how much you will hurt them and dishonor all they have done for you? dont you think it is more important to show love and appreciation to people who choose you to be theirs than go after people who let you out of their lives? think twice about it. if i was your mother i would feel that i wasted my life bringing you up and having you if you turned your back on me like this. i think it is ungrateful and selfish what you are doing.

PS. i would like to adopt children, but what you are trying to do is a major discouragment. i could help children who have no home, no mother, but why would i risk it knowing they are going to hurt me.

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