I would like to adopt my friends baby... what do I do first?

My friend knows that me and my husband have fertility issues, and she's young and isn't ready to raise a baby. I told her back when the baby was born that if she ever needed my help to call on me. Now a few months later she has decided it's in the best interest for the baby if she gives it up to a 2 parent family and a more stable home environment. She has asked me and my husband if we would like to adopt the baby, and we accepted. But we are not sure what to do. We have passed security checks because we were considering provincial adoption, but otherwise we have no idea how to go about any of it... Please if you know of any steps... and we are in Saskatchewan (if the location helps at all)
Additional Details
This is not for financial gain or purposes! We will not be getting any money from the Government or any other adoption services. We are not "hell-bent" on having a child. We are just trying to do what is right for this child... If we don't take him the Child and Family Services will... She gave us the option... And she also approached us...

Patricia C

You need a lawyer.

H******

It sounds as though your 'friend' could really use some help, reassurance and support right now.

She doesn't need to feel unworthy of raising her own child by virtue of comparing herself unfavorably to your home situation and reproductive status.

I hope you can become a better friend and assist your 'friend' in any way possible. (Taking her baby isn't 'help' )

AnnaBelle

I have no clue what the laws are in Saskatchewan, but if I remember correctly, most adoptions there are conducted through the ministry, rather than through agencies/attorneys. I could have that wrong, though.

You are not doing your friend a favour. You are taking from her what you desire for yourself. Just to get that clear. Yes, even if she supposedly asked you. You are dealing with someone who is frightened and hormonal. If you care for her at all, as her "friend", you will help her to keep her child. There is no shortage of resources here in Canada...public health care, child tax credit, social assistance, grants, student finance, and many charitable organizations to help keep mum and babe together. There is no good reason for her to give away her own child.

If you are hell bent on adopting, contact the ministry about adopting one of the many, many children in care who can't go home.

Do you really think money, of all fluid, fickle things, should be what causes the separation of a mother and her baby?

BTW, your infertility is immaterial. You don't "deserve" someone else's baby. Not even if you are hurting, which I can understand. You need to get counselling, and then, if you are convinced that you are still wanting to adopt, as I said, consider the kids in foster care whose parents' rights have been terminated and are waiting for adoption.

ETA: Your brand-spankin' new account has me thinking you might be a troll, but we'll see.

Sunny

Adoptive homes are inherently not "stable" as they are not intact.

If you were a true "friend", you would help her raise her own child until her conditions improve and she is able to do so on her own.

Just because you're infertile does not give you the right to separate a mother from her child and a child from her mother.

Children BELONG with their own mothers, not substitutes.

Cleopatra

It's quite ironic that you commence your post with, "I would like." THAT is the problem with "adoption" and why so many here have discouraged you from adopting your friends baby. Adoption in NOT ABOUT YOU.

smarmy

The location of the father would help. Where is he?

cricketlady

First you will need to hire an attorney. He will direct you in the rest of the steps.

Tiny Dan

you need a lawyer , you need to qualify , unfortunately adopting a baby is hard . i think it should be easier, i mean abortion is horrible, let people adopt and make it easier. you have to have a lawyer , because of the system . good luck.

MARY

Go to a lawyer that specializes in family law.

Crissy

Yes, get a lawyer. You need to make sure she can't change her mind, or that the father can't come back and say he wants the child. Cover all areas. Try to get medical records from the biological parents. My friend just went through this. Hope this helps.

Understand that in the birth mother can not give up her rights till after the birth and that is several hours after like 48 to 72. Also, a lot of birth mother's will sign conditional relinquishment that if the birth father objects or fights that the baby will be return to her.. That being said, hire a lawyer to get things started and the ball rolling. After the parental rights are terminated, their generally is a waiting period of 90 days before things are final. That does not mean that the parents can change their mind and get the child back as when the rights are terminated, they are terminated.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: