If Pro Adoption is the Majority Opinion?

Isabel A

Obviously the norms are changing. Instead of 95% of unmarried women relinquishing children for adoption like they did in the 1960's and 1970's now only 3% of unmarried women are relinquishing.
That's why adoption agencies now advertise to young mothers on billboards, and newspapers an tv ads.

The truth is, adoption agencies and people looking to adopt BABIES are in a pickle because there just isn't the market that there used to be. That's why so many are giving the full court press here on this forum.
They are desperate.

And they don't want to hear about the possible downsides of adoption or about mothers who grieve their children for 34 years like mine did. They don't want to hear about adoptees who feel loss. They just want a baby.

I mean think about it there are all of these adoptees here telling people that adoption is not the sunshine and rainbow farts we've been led to believe and the only people really refuting this are the potential adoptive parents and adoption workers. Why? because they've got something to lose. Plus the fact that they are hoping to use Y!A to get someone else's baby. Yick.

It used to be that women didn't have a choice to parent their children, now they do and many, many single people parent successfully.

I mean really, if adoption is so great, which of your children are you willing to give away?

kitta

Adoption is viewed very favorably ...for others.

I think it was the Evan B Donaldson Institute that did a national survey on public attitudes. They found a very high reported rate of public approval for adoption, around 90%, I think. But a relatively low rate of responders said they actually had adopted or wished to adopt.

As for adoption being favored for hundreds and hundreds of years....well, adoption as we know it...has only existed since the 20th century. The invention of infant formula made newborn adoption possible. The licensing of social workers in the 1930s put the government into the industry and made it a social program.

Families have always taken in the orphaned offspring of their kin, and fostered their relatives children. This was not the industry of today, nor the sweeping baby-grab of the baby scoop era.

monkeykitty83

I don't think most people are pro-adoption in the sense of personally being involved in it or endorsing it. I think most people are actually relatively indifferent to adoption, and don't give it much thought.

Opinions on Yahoo are rather distilled, because people who bother to visit this section presumably have some strong feeling about it one way or the other. So you'll see both more pro- and more anti- than in the general population.

The Yahoo site isn't exclusive or extremist, but it IS entirely self-selecting. The people who bother to read and post about adoption care about adoption. I would actually consider the majority of the population more apathetic to adoption than actively in favour of it.

cmc

Yahoo is not extremist, but individual groups can be self selecting. I am put off by many responses I see here, and can see how some people might not come back. Many people feel most comfortable when surrounded by others like them. So perhaps those with more "pro" opinions don't tend to stick around as much as the others.

yeahright

I am thankful for the antiadoption folks for coming forward in greater numbers to educate and bring forth valid issues.

But when all is said and done be clinical when you think about this question and keep your emotions out of it for a minute and be honest--take inventory of ALL of the people that are regular on here--what less than 20? 30?

I do not think pro-adoption is the Majority--I know it is--just do a one generic quick search under adoption in google--and tell me how many headings deep you have to go before you run into anything related to anti-adoption? That doesn't mean there shouldn't be reform, better mother support to reduce the # of adoptions and laws that open records etc.

Linny is just plain wrong and is again just saying something to try to make her point at the expense of her own factual credibility--I would say this is a location that is a good mix of pro and anti and somewhere in between. It is because of this that I come back--if it was all one way or the other, I wouldn't even frequent the site.

Crucio

Most people have never even heard someone being against adoption. Adoption isnâ€™t perfect nothing in life is. Should there be reform? Yes. Should mother/father who want to keep their baby be provided help to do so? Yes. Should records be available to the child when they turn 18 or younger? Yes. Should the price to adopt not be outrageous? Yes. That said people who are truly anti-adoption are a small minority.

Thatâ€™s the major reason I post here as well because you need both sides told both positive , negative and in the middle experiences. If only one side is told it makes it one sided Thatâ€™s why anyone planning to adopt (or place) should read good, bad experiences and those in the middle and keep an open mind.

Randy B

One thing to keep in mind, regardless of the issue, is that people of like minds tend to congregate in the same areas. I'm not talking just about adoption but about just about anything.

For example, if this was a site about widgets in general and people who like Brand X's widgets come here to find that there are many people here passionately against Brand X's widgets they would most likely not stick around very long unless they were just as passionate about their stance. That would leave a new visitor with the (possibly) mistaken impression that there is something wrong with Brand X's widgets when, in fact, there may not be. (Folks, I'm trying to be neutral with the analogy so don't read anything more into it then that)

The fact is, there are just as many pro adoption as anti adoption around here. (Even though to sum things up as pro or anti adoption is not necessarily a true reflection of people various stances and is, I think, a gross oversimplification of the points being made). Anyone who has been around here for a while can see that all views are heard, it's just that some speak a bit louder then others when they state their views.

Kiki

I'm kinda disgusted there are so many people here who are down on adoption. I had no idea! I am adopted and it's the best gift I've ever been given! I have many friends and family members who are adopted and all feel the same way I do.

Linny G

Because most of the people here are adopters and prospective adopters.
They are happy, because they got what they wanted- which is a fresh new baby, still warm from another woman's body.

They want everyone to think it is awesome, no problems. They saved this baby! They gave an unwed mother another chance at life! (all myths, for the most part) No one likes to admit the ugly side of adoption, such as coercion, agencies not naming the father when they know who it is, so they can speed things up (which makes the adoption illegal) or the pain from the loss of a child to the n mom, or the loss of a mother to the adoptee. And dont even get me started on the lies of "Open Adoption". Those are very few and far between.

Like the church..."SSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! If we dont talk about it, it didnt happen" Well guess what- just like every other misdeed, the truth of adoption- the bad and the good ,have a way of coming out. The BSE kids are all grown up now, and we are a force to be reckoned with.

I want open records, no international adoptions and ethical LEGALLY ENFORCEABLE OPEN adoptions, and all adoptions should be last resort and rare. Doesn't sound too extreme to me.

AdoreHim

I am one of those people that actually had a very positive adoption experience. I can tell you why there are not more of us here. I have wanted to leave more times then I can remember, because of the negative comments and emails that I have gotten because I did not experience any of the bad sides of adoption. That said, I am very sorry for those that have. I am not denying that it does. The reason I am still here, is because I have come to the conclusion that there has to be something positive said here.

myst1998

The reason why adoption is still so popular is due to the way it is presented; the lack of knowledge about what adoption is really like. I have met many, many people who are not affected by adoption and have slowly educated them about what adoption means. Most now support my view and understand where I am coming from. None would adopt themselves but would opt for guardianship, fostering/supporting a young mother or permanent care.

There are only a handful of people here on YA that are brave enough to profess to being anti adoption but there are alot more out there that feel the same way. I think its like anything... if the media started making adoption out to be what it was really like, more and more people would be against it.

sunny

The reason the "pro-adoption" camp is the majority: the Golden Rule.

People who have the gold make the rules.

Who has gold: Agencies, Washington lobbyists, attorneys, APs.

furfur

"I mean think about it there are all of these adoptees here telling people that adoption is not the sunshine and rainbow farts we've been led to believe and the only people really refuting this are the potential adoptive parents and adoption workers. Why? because they've got something to lose."

1. I have actually seen adoptees refute this as well.

"Plus the fact that they are hoping to use Y!A to get someone else's baby."

2. That may happen upon occaision, but it is not fair to make a general statement about all of us. some of us do come here for education.

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