If a mom decides not to put her baby up for adoption..?
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If a mom decides not to put her baby up for adoption..?
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And the adoptive parents paid all of the medical and bought the maternity clothing does the mom have to pay the adoptive parents back? Or is it just a chance you take when adopting?
My situation is a bit different. If the mom kept the baby she is family anyway who would not have been able to provide medical care on her own so i would not want to be paid back. I was just wondering what was normal in that case?
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magic pointe shoes:
Yes almost did scare me off but after good thought last night it is best to stay and learn from you and others, Thank you!
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Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP
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It is a chance that you take when adopting.
The whole thing is very coercive actually. Many expectant mothers feel that if they were to keep THEIR baby, that it would be wrong, because "look at everything they did for you. You owe this to them" Or "They have wiped out their savings on you. You are their last chance at being parents, because if you back out, then they can't afford to do this again" |
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Robin W
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Paying medical and other expenses for the expectant mother smacks of buying a child. I warn expectant mother against taking anything from prospective adopters since that might make them feel she is obligated and unable to change her mind about surrender. That mother IS the mother of that infant and she should not feel compelled to surrender just because she received some help. I would just rather that help come from her parents, friends and the father of the baby rather than someone with something to gain from her pregnancy.
Providing financial aid to the mother is a two-edged sword which causes problems on both ends. It is also coercive; just as coercive as the prospective adopters wanting to be in the labor and delivery room with the mother. There is also the "love bombing" that goes on when the prospective adopters are "courting" the mother-to-be. That is coercion, especially since it usually ends as soon as the adopters have possession of her infant.
Whenever I hear of a woman who decides to keep her baby, I want to cheer out loud! |
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Lillie
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No, she is not obligated to pay back one red cent.
Nor is she obligated to supply you with an infant.
THIS is why pre-birth matches and coercion in the form of "paying for living expenses" should be ILLEGAL. |
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DevonChaos
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No, you don't get anything back. Anything you do for her is out of the kindness of your heart (right?) and not in order to persuade her to give you the baby (right?) so its really a gift. |
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anastasia beaverhausen-the real1
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yes- basically, if she changes her mind and decides to parent, you will lose the money.
not sure if you saw private practice last night....the same episode is on tonight on abc. please, please, take a minute to watch this one.
it has that situation going on. a lot of shows do right now, pp, brother and sisters, house, also desperate housewives did a while back with gaby- the lady whose baby she as to adopt...the father backed out. |
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allchildrenareangels
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My husband and I are currently hoping to adopt so I do know the answer to your question. Whatever you pay in doctor bills or anything is at your own risk. You could pay all her medical bills and then her change her mind at the last minute and there is nothing you can do about it. Before you purchase anything for her or pay for any bills you need to know this. How much you are allowed to pay her is by the state you live in. All money exchanges has to go through the lawyer. You are not even allowed to purchase maternity clothes with out approval. This blew my mind but, you really need to check with your adoption lawyer. I was told in my state if I bought anything or paid her anything it could be a felony. Not trying to scare you but you need to talk to your lawyer to protect yourself.
Love,
Michelle |
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Ken T
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Unless it is in a contract prior to the purchasing and paying then no the mother has not responsibility to pay the adoptive parents back adoption is at your own risk.
I think it is great that you are adopting!!! |
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C W
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I knew a couple that was planning to adopt from a friend of a friend. They bought and paid for everything and when the baby was born the mom decided to keep it. She did not pay them back. She did however put the baby up for adoption a few months later. The couple did not get the baby. I would just say be cautious and guard your hearts. |
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27wks A Little Sailor Is Coming!
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Well, I would want to be paid back because if she made a promise to me and I paid all her bills and her clothing and didn't get the baby I would want every drop of it back. There is always medicaid and she would of been able to get everything done for free on that. So YES, I would want to be paid back, even though its family. |
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