If it's not really Politically Correct to always refer to a child as an adopted child...?

Looney Tunes

I was a foster kid. That is what I always was to everyone, teachers, doctors, lawyers, workers, foster parents, etc.
I was never anything but that label and it basically meant that I was nobodys.

Don't get me wrong, I personally never told a sole that I was "the foster kid" because it was embarrassing and shameful...because most people would respond "Why don't your parents want you? " or "What happened to your parents?" or "What did you do?".....but it did not matter, because that is who people knew who I was...."the foster kid."

And it was always noticed when real children got things that "the foster kid" did not get because the check wasn't there or there was not enough money. Or when "the foster kid" had to stay in respite care when the family went on vacation......
...............see there is a big difference between "the foster kid" and everyone else....they don't really belong.

Lillie

The difference is that an adopted child is a permanent member of the family whereas a foster child is there temporarily. It sounds like you're assuming the child would want to be considered part of the family and called "my son" or "my daughter" instead of "my foster child" but that often is not the case because they are in a time of transition or a temporary situation. Usually they either have a family waiting to get them back or they have just gone through the death of their parent(s), and in both cases would identify their biological family as their "real" parents. Others have been in the system a long time and have been moved around so much they're not about to consider a foster family their "real" family because they know it's not permanent.

The only situations in which I've heard them referred to as "my child" without the "foster" is when adoption is imminent, and both the foster child and the parents seem most comfortable with that. The child isn't going to want to start calling people "mom and dad" who aren't likely to be a permanent part of their lives, and for the parents to call the foster child "my son" or "my daughter" would be insensitive to the child's relationship with their "real" parents, whether they are still in the picture or not.

sk8ermom

In foster classes we were told NOT to introduce or reffer to children as foster child. Just introduce them as son or daughter because even if they are not permanent, for that time, you are still a parent to them.

Baker

Possibly because adoption is permanent, while fostering is temporary. That's my best guess.

mommy2squee

Because foster care is temporary, and adoption is permanent.

raistlyn727

It's not, just no one has thought of any really cool, yet explanitory labels to stick there instead that are 'politically correct'.
And please, if you ever run acrossed a foster child that has *forgotten* it's in foster care, I want to know about it, because that foster parent deserves an award.

Kazi

((Looney Tunes))

This is a very interesting question. Before I saw LT's response, my first thought was, these kids are on an island by themselves.

They have not been adopted into a family, yet still technically part of one.

It's a state of flux and simply not the way childhood should be.

Children should belong.

I honestly don't know how to answer your question, GE... and it saddens and maddens me greatly.

SheilaB

Adopted children have a permanet home when a foster child does not. If you refer to him/her as a foster child then you are letting people know that the child needs a family. I am not in a position to tell you exactly why but hopefully it is a reason that would at least benefit the child in some way.

Cam

Adoption is a process. It's not a label.

momof3boys

Most people don't tell their adopted children they are adopted until they are older and when you say "this is my adopted daughter" that is like you feel this need to make sure people know you didn't give birth to her or something. Your daughter is your daugher and your son is your son even if they are adopted. But with fostering they aren't yours but you aren't suppose to say "this is my foster daughter/son" either when introducing them you just introduce them by their name. Making a point of saying "foster child" can really make the child feel bad and draws negative attention there way with looks and questions.

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