If parental rights are terminated?

Flying Monkey #073177

My son lives a 10 minute drive from me. In another city but it is more like a suburb.

As for running into them and recognizing my son let me tell you a little story about his seventh birthday. I was working at a crap fast food restaurant and was in charge of hosting birthday parties. I started my shift that day and looked in the party book to see what I had to prepare for. I saw my son's name, his age and date of birth and almost fell to the floor in panic. It had been 5 years since I had seen him and 4 since I had seen a picture. I was totally unable to host the party and called another manager to take over for me. The crew and I all watched him walk in the door with a group of about 10 kids. Everyone stared and then said "The blond boy with the blue plaid shirt! That's him, isn't it?" There was no mistaking who he was, he was my son, he was my double in every way but gender. I couldn't handle watching the party so I grabbed a coffee and my smokes and stood outside in -20 weather to watch and cry through the window. Finally the other manager couldn't take it anymore and she confronted his amom. She came outside and gathered me in the hugest hug and held me while I cried. I was then invited in to "meet" my child. It was the most bittersweet experience of my life.

So yes, there is always that possibility that a person might run into their child with his or her adoptive family, sadly not all adoptive parents would be as kind and compassionate as my son's were. Most would run like their pants were on fire I think.

Randy B

The child could go anywhere there is a qualified couple/single/family to adopt them. I know of people who have been a few blocks from the adoptive parents. Friends of ours adopted a young girl who was originally on the other end of the Province.

When our little one was still in foster care we often wondered if we would one day bump into someone from her birth family. We know they are in town here somewhere but we've never had any contact. Even when she was in foster care and there were brief weekly scheduled visits the Department had a service that picked her up and transported her to the social workers office for the visit. It was all designed to be anonymous so we never had any contact.

Once the rights are terminated, at least in our area, the birth family is no longer involved in the foster or adoption process from our experiences anyway.

Mommy of 2

The location of the foster parents usually depends on the demand for foster homes. I know in large cities, they are usually local, but in cases like mine where "close by" could still be 45 minutes away simply because our state (like most) is broken up into regions.

The department (state) usually prefers to foster the children outside of the city/county for security reasons... at least that's how it's done here. Their goal is to place the children in a "safe" enviornment and minimize the likelyhood of running into relatives/parents.

Wundt

This is very common...

Social workers try to place children into a foster home relatively close to the child's home (within the same city or county). So, if the child is eventually adopted by that foster family, they will potentially be geographically close to their bio parents after the adoption.

This is done for many reasons. But the real reason is that there is a lot of networking within the social services system. Certain agencies and foster homes are preferred by some state social workers because of friendships and past associations. And, most of these preferences are for local agencies for obvious reasons. Social workers are supposed to consider all options, and choose the one best for the child, but they usually go with what and who they 'know' because it expedites things.

When we were fostering (foster-to-adopt) our names were 'submitted' to foster several children from another nearby city (60 miles away), but none of children from that city were ever placed with us. This happened several times, and it was clear it was because we, and the agency we worked with, weren't local.

usually foster parents are in the same city/county but birth parents are not to know where the child is staying. However anyone in the country can adopt a child in foster care with a home study and all the background. They try to keep it in state because of paper work
In this foster family probably live in the county and they may very well run in to the birth parents at some point.
The parents can't do anything they can approach and see if the AP are open to visit but they have no rights

seekn2know

In our case the foster parents were always early but I think they lived farther out than we did. Our adoption was final last August, but since they went to the same children's hospital appointments they must have lived in the vicinity.

If the birth parents in your case ever do see their child they have to act like a stranger because they are no longer legally the parents and have no rights. It would upset the child. Also you never know when the adoptive parents move away so a child who resembles them may not be theirs

help4all27

If this was a china case, child in need of aid, the family will most likely be local therefore making it possible the bio-parents could recognize their child if they saw him/her out in public. However it is possible they could be farther away and never see each other.

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