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Lori A
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no because I'm always looking for ways both sides can come together and work on the real issues. |
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Flying Monkey #073177
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Not really. Some people irritate me on both sides and I don't listen to them but mostly I listen to what everyone has to say. MANY times I have found myself nodding my head to what someone with a pro standpoint has said. I have my opinion and they have theirs, not that I have to like it. |
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cantstopLinnyG
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No. I used to be "pro-adoption" before I was in touch with myself. I had repressed every bad thing I felt about adoption. Once I started to listen to other's and kept an open mind, I actually changed positions. I do realize, however, I was always "anti-adoption", but just lacked the courage to admit it.
That being said, I am not "anti-adoption" in all cases of adoption. Only unethical adoptions. I am pro-foster care and foster to adopt. I can say that learning from ap's who have adopted through foster care have helped me to see that it is a good thing. |
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myst1998
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Yes... Anti adoption means I am inclined to hear what they have to say, pro-adoption means I will switch off because I have heard everything these people have said a million times before, have been forced to live with the consequences of their views and was once pro-adoption in some ways myself.... before the truth was revealed to me.
The Pro-adoption agenda has been around for a very long time; since the beginning of adoption in fact. The 'anti' message has only just started and the points being raised are incredibly valid and important.
As someone who has only just started being vocal about being 'anti' adoption, I have found that you don't need to be 'anti' to be shut down. Any time a person starts looking beyond a socially accepted view and uncovers truths about popular ideas that shame these ideas, they are then shut down. It has happened in the history of mankind over and over again and will continue to happen until people are open to learning the truth, even if it is ugly. |
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Independ"ant"
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It depends on the individual and the agenda. |
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Gershom
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No, because then i wouldn't be listening to myself.
I am anti adoption, i most certainly don't agree with adoption as it is today. That doesn't mean i don't listen to others, or tune others out, it just means i don't agree with it. I can't think of an instance where adoption was necessary. Its that simple to me. Until i find it and it overrules the un-necessary, then I'll remain in my position. :)
However, the resistance i find on my "anti adoption" blog is humorous. I know that almost daily i will have a "very happy pro adoption" person ranting and raving to me about what a lunatic I am and how adoption saves children and I should be burning in hell for my views after all, i could have been aborted ya konw? where would i want all those poor children to be anyways? etc. etc.
eh... you've just got to take each man or woman for his/her own. Some of the "adoptee rights" groups aren't so adoptee rights either. Never judge a book by its cover, just each person for his or herself. |
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kateiskate
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I try to listen to what everyone has to say. Sometimes I disagree, sometimes I agree.
The labels don't mean a lot. We're all still people.
ETA: Two other users made the point that they tune people out who aren't interested in changing their point of view. To me that is really, well sad. We need people who disagree with us in order to challenge us and create a dialogue about changing adoption as it is now for the better. I'm not here to change anyone's mind, but to present my opinion for those interested in adoption and learn from other perspectives that others hold. If I wanted to preach to the choir, there's another forum I can go to where others are more similar minded. |
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Randy B
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Its more what someone has to say then any labels that either they may place on them or others may place on them. |
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23 year old texas female married
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I used to be "pro adoption" and against abortion but not after my first hand experience of Having a labor and delivery nurse ask me after giving birth if I liked to give my newborn up for adoption especially since that is not a regular or common question they ask at that hospital. The doctor told me she had no right to even ask me that. I guess she was looking for a baby to either adopt or for one of her friends to adopt. After that I have been "anti adoption and anti abortion though if I was forced to choice which one would be better for me I'd choice abortion because that way I know nobody is harming my child and would be easier for me to move on.
Sorry, back to your question, I read every body's answer though if I really truly disagree with them I give them a thumbs down. I am not on here to often so it doesn't really matter I guess. |
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SJM
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No. In fact, I rarely give TD's except when an opinion is completely reactionary and exhibits no thought process at all. Those are mostly the 'adoption is nothing but wonderful' comments and those aimed at discrediting anyone who does not blindly worship the adoption god. Unless it's something like that, I listen whether I agree or not. Like many others, I once advocated for reform. I learned the hard way that the adoption industry does not operate based on the needs of the children it alleges to assist. I don't blame people who haven't had the opportunity to see that. |
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Serenity71
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It really depends on how they express their views and if they come across as will to listen to the views of others even if they don't agree. Theres a strength in being able to do that.
In turn some of those radical people (Pro and anti ) are likely to eventually hear what you're saying. Some people here just need a little honey in the way they present things to be heard and for others to want to know more about why they feel as the do about adoption because they don't come in with the 'shoot first ask questions later.' approach. |
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MamaKate
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Dear Kazi,
I'm not too fond of anyone who really insists on "labeling themselves" in the first place, but I will listen to just about anyone. (Sometimes wisdom comes form the most unlikely places...)
I will admit that, while I will listen to just about anyone, I am especially leery of those who shout that they are pro-adoption. They scare me a little. Mostly because I am afraid of getting Kool-aid on my shirt.
It is only rude, hateful people that I refuse to listen to. I don't really care what they are "pro" or "anti" about. It is the manner in which they choose to express it that I take issue with. |
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BLW_KAM
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If the arguments are well-thought out and respectfully communicated I will listen to anyone. But if the opposite is true, I will tune out and flip the channel.
Treating others with dignity is a cornerstone of my belief system. Those who do not share this conviction will briefly appear as a blip on my radar screen, then fall silent. |
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Philippa
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I am going to base my answer on UK views. I listen to both sides and I have more empathy towards "anti" adoption views.
The "anti" adoption people are actually what I call pro reform as they're not completely anti adoption they are against forced (aka illegal) adoption, want to see reform and, agree that children who are abused/neglected should be placed in a safe environment.
The pro adoption brigade (usually adoptive parents) are against adopted children searching and I have met some parents that haven't even told their children they are adopted. Many refuse to accept that natural parents of children can search now (have been able to for years) and are quite nasty about natural parents. Generally the pro adoption people have a low opinion of natural parents and belief they deserve to be treated badly and adoption is wonderful. |
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Mei-Ling
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Depends on my mood, depends on how they're conveying themselves, depends on the WHY, and depends on how snarky I feel that day. ;)
I'm generally willing to listen, though. |
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JennaBear
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not at all. what i learn from other people is their reasons WHY they have their stance. people are anti-adoption for a whole host of reasons, as are the people for pro-adoption. and there are so many shades of gray in between. it's like any label "conservative or pro-choice or christian or whatever" there are SO many viewpoints within the different labels. i love learning from people...what i don't love is when people are rude about their way of telling me their opinions. |
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Latsirk
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i would probably be the worst example... i am adopted... from korea and my family is white/american... i love them, they're the best in the world and they gave me the best... so growing up wasn't bad except for normal family problems... so growing up... for some reason... when things went wrong, i hated to be adopted... i wanted my real parents, family, also... when i got a little older... i was against adopting myself... still am as of today because i want my own child, from me... which thank God, i do. it's hard until you're in the situation... like... can't have your own child... so there's adoption. what i always felt and it's just the way i am, i can't explain... if i adopted myself... i would have to explain to that child why their biological mother and father didn't want them... this is what my adoptive parents can't tell me as of today because they don't know. i was in the orphanage in korea since i was 6 months old up to 4 years old. it's hard... and i shouldn't be against adopting myself... but my heart is harden on that still and i've been praying to change that cause what i came up with is that if i can't have a child of my own... i wouldn't have children... but that's so selfish of me since i was given a second chance... just a little story about mysef... there are people out there who are in a situation but they believe otherwise of it.
to what you are asking for... i would listen to what someone has to say and why they feel like that... then i would have my closing argument or comment afterwards, depends on what it is... like this... i can't say anything really... it's hard but yes, i would listen... at least i'm good in that |
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Daisey Duck
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It depends on the question and answer given. If someone is just stating their opinion and not answering the question asked then I tend to not pay much attention to it. Just as when the answer is given like it is fact that all will feel this way or act this way, as no two people
are alike so the stereo types of "your child will etc" are easy to dismiss. But do I ignore all answers given by those who I know don't share my opinion, no because there are quite a few here who in general I don't agree with but they do have very informative information to give. I have learned from all groups here. To learn anything anywhere you have to be open minded enough to at least listen to those with whom you may not always agree. Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean they can't be right or mean that they don't have valid points to be considered. |
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yeahright
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I am not "pro" nor am I "anti" for every adoption situation so I try to listen to both sides. I look for credibility, sincerity, and respect before I look for what "side" they are on before I decide if I will listen or not.
There are quite few here on YA (both sides) but primarily on the anti side I immediately tune out because they will purposefully malign what someone is saying into some sort of awful perverted end point at the expense of their own credibility. They are not credible and frankly because they repeat the same insulting remarks cut and pasted over and over and over, I tend to believe everyone shuts them out. Which is a shame as I think underneath their disrespect, they probably have something I should listen to. So yes those are the folks I just gloss over if I read at all. |
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HappyMomAnna
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YEP...
They have their minds made up and I just wonder why they would ask questions if they already have their answer.
* |
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No Spam
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