If you could reform adoption what would you change?

What are the most important things to change about the adoption process as it is?
Additional Details
1. no relinquishment
2. a orginal birth certificate and an adoption certificate
3. keep the first family. child gains another set of parents and doesn't have to feel guilted for being loved by more than one person.
4. medical history needs to be included in the paperwork.
5. Take money out of adoption no more buying babies or children.
6.Take out the attitude that adoption is a great thing for a child. That some adopted children will feel abandonment.
7. Use kinship guardianship before putting the child up for adoption.
8. Adoption should be made rare!

So far I agree with everybody.

So many babies that don't need to be adopted out are because of the demand for newborns and infants.

9. I think they need to keep adoption out of the delivery and recovering rooms. 10. Nobody should be approaching anybody about adopting their kids.

cantstopLinnyG

For me, I would like to see adoptions made rare, meaning a child can only be adopted if there is no one in their natural family to raise them, and to have those adoptions ethical and open.

Open, as in the adoptee will have their original birth certificate from day one, and visits with their n Mother/Father/family if possible, and making those visits that enforceable by law.

I would also like to see all foreign adoptions made illegal, and no profits made from the child by agencies and or baby brokers.

By doing those things, the kids who do need homes, foster kids, will have their needs met better, and children will no longer be commodities.

Lori A

Its late, I'm tired, and I can't think of anything to add to the already great answers.

I would like to point out to Jude though that even though I gave as much medical history as I could, at the time there was very little medically wrong. My parents didn't start having issues until my daughter was in her late teen early twenties. She didn't find me until she was almost 30. I still don't have much to give her about myself except I smoke too much. For that to be more accurate there would have to be regular updates. That wasn't an option back then, but it could be now if opened adoptions were made enforceable.

ETA: Its morning and I have had coffee. I would have to say that there isn't one aspect of adoption that DOESN'T need changing. I think first would be the happy slappy attitude that this does not affect the children who have to live it, that there are deep seeded needs to know something about ones self beyond a paper family, and that the cost needs serious investigation. Of course opened records would be a must.

Carol c

Good question and you've got some great answers. I must say I agree with them all.

Jude

I don't know if things have changed since my husband was adopted back in 1966, but it should be required that a family medical history of the birth parents be given. Because it wasn't given, our son has only half of his medical history and my husband has nothing to go on except that he has high blood pressure.

It would be nice if they would also include some genealogy, such as the child is of French, Irish, etc. decent. Kids are always comparing notes and the adopted kid kinda feels left out.

kitta

I agree with SJM. The concept of relinquishment and becoming a non-parent by law has to go.It is dishonest and absurd, and it has created the industry of infant abandonment by coercion. Young people are being taught that they cannot be parents , that they are too young, too immature, but for many many generations young people became parents at early ages. They just did it. Their communities encouraged them.

IN those cases where children have no parents, kin have always been first choice, if not available , then close friends such as god-parents for guardians.

Opedial

Get rid of money changing hands. Pure and simple, no one should be making money off of adoption. It should be done through the government and ONLY when necessary. The rest of the money can go towards building the First families and eliminate need for adoption.

grapesgum

No falsification of birth certificates. Fake birth certificates are a heinous violation of human rights.

Philippa

Have kinship guardianship if the parent(s) can't or wont parent as the first option so the child stays with their family. Second option would be special guardianship if family couldn't (or if there isn't any family) take care of the child. Last resort would be adoption.

With guardianship the child retains their original identity and they still have access to information.

HappyMomAnna

I would make the finalization of an adoption a legal and civil act resulting in an Adoption Certificate without the need to amend the factual history or information on a persons original birth certificate.

The legal process to finalize would produce a document of an Adoption Certificate which names the Legal Parents for a Minor Child and provide permanent legal and all of the rights, duties, privileges and obligations recognized by the law between all parents and their children.

Considering that children are only minors to the age of 18 or 21 parental rights would end (as they do with all minor children) however, that Adoption Certificate and/or Decree would be sufficient for the child's rights as an heir and/or party to any other legal matters a child may have in relationship to their parents.

Birth records would be just that a record of birth.
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SJM

If I could reform adoption,

1. Eliminate relinquishment. If someone really doesn't want to actively parent, and an agency is willing to help them find a suitable substitute, they can make those arrangements. But a parent can't become not a parent.

2. I think 1. should do the trick.

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