If you gave a child up for adoption over 30 years ago, would you want to meet him?

MsKitty

Depends...if I were at a low point in my life, then I probably would not be ready to do that. He may just feel like he still is not worthy of you

ash

I think I would want to meet my child. (My mother was adopted so I know she loves my grandparents. But she still yearns to meet the ones who gave her up) I think he would agree to do the test for two reasons:

1.) Give you an idea what kind of health issues you may have
2.) Shocked and does want to meet you.

He probably backed out because he is scared that he may not live up to your expectations and vice versa. I mean, what if one of you gets your hopes too high up? Just don't be too pushy. Write him a letter and tell him how you just want to meet him. Don't expect too much. He may have a new life separate from you.... a wife a family. It may be hard for him to bring you into it. And vice versa. I'm sure its also hard on your adoptive parents too. I'm sure they are supportive but . . . . they may be uneasy as well.

mommy in january

because boys are wierd. but good luck.

*Kt*

Well I don't know the whole story obviously but there could be a lot of reasons. He might feel guilty for putting you up for adoption in the first place. Also, I know that sometimes if one parent didn't like the other and they constantly got in fights they might not be able to (in their mind) separate the child from the other parent. I'm sorry. Good luck.

halloween

I also was adopted. mabey because they have taking so mutch out of themself to try to find a better life for you and for them that was hard. Mabey its seems to hard to reawake that part of the past.mabey its too hard to imagen what you are like in the present.

Marianne T

Because you may be difficult to explain to his family. They likely don't know anything about you. And if he had agreed to a paternity test, he didn't believe it either. You may be the result of a drunken night with a stranger. He hasn't known you for 30 years and he doesn't know what you want from him. Do you want a share of the inheritance? Do you want him to pay for your college loans? Are you going to disrupt his family now? What about the bio mother? Where is she? Will she now want something to do with him and his family? There are just so many unanswered questions as to why he has not made contact with you. You need to remember, it is not you. You sound like a nice person but put yourself in his place. You also have to consider that he may have been married at the time you were conceived and then that brings up the whole infidelity question. Good luck and continue with your life. I hope you had nice loving adoptive parents. Accept that he doesn't want to meet you. He may be a creep anyway with some loser kids. And you would be sorry you ever found them because you won't be able to get rid of them!

Paige

I am not sure sweetheart but If he wanted to meet me then i would meet him. Otherwise the man doese not deserve you.

Lulu Belle

i would want to...but i am a woman

Blondie

the test is just to make sure you are his child... when he is sure he probably would love to meet his child.. you would probably do the same thing if you were in his spot

keysha

it depends on how u feel because im 14 years old and i havent seen my father in 8 years and he wants to see me but i dont . so it really depends on if that person want to see u.

Addeline

I think he feels that he has been out of your life for so long that just coming to casually see you would be awkward. Or (theory #2) he's waiting until after the paternity test to meet you just in case he's not really your father because if he was to create a bond with you then because of the paternity test have it just yanked away I think that would be very hard on him.

bjipp01

I was adopted as well. I'm from S. Korea. I went back there in 2003 and got to meet my birth mother and 2 of my 4 siblings.

When I came back to the states, I had bouts of depression because I would send my birth mother and my siblings letters. I would get respond from my siblings, but not my birth mother. I got the feeling is that my birth mother just took the whole meeting so hard, that it was hard to communicate w. me.

He may not want to meet you in person yet, but perhaps writing him a letter, and letting him know what's going on in your life will open him up more to a face-to-face meeting.

naseem

It's not genetics that decides your father.Being brought up by someone else your whole life,makes him your father.Don't meet him and live your usual life.

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