If you had an unintentional pregnancy, would open records make you choose abortion rather than adoption?

MamaKate

Dear Romany,

I ONLY agreed to adoption because I was told that my children would NOT suffer not knowing who I am. I was promised that "open" adoption would PREVENT the issues the closed records cause because we would always have contact. I was unaware that the APs could close the adoption after finalization.

I would have parented otherwise.

For me, closed records are a reason NOT to place a child for adoption and I would have made very different decisions had I known that "open" adoption are unenforceable soley BECAUSE of closed records - even without knowing what I know now about the effects of adoption on adoptees and first parents. I would NEVER wish to hide or be unknown to my offspring. I don't purposely cause pain for people I love...

ETA: Only one of my 4 pregnancies was "unintentional".

kateiskate

I'd have an abortion. I know that what the agencies and adoption officials tell you are lies created to soothe you into a false sense of comfort in order to convince you to give up your child.

JenaMay

I currently HAVE to make that decision.
My whole first trimester I didn't know that I was pregnant, and did drugs and stuff like that.
Now these doctors tell me that there is an 80% chance that if I try to give birth that I will die. And the baby will too.
My son is the only thing keeping me going these days, and I have to make this terrible decision.

I am really thinking about getting an abortion just to save my son. Because I know where he will go. And God will take care of him until I see him again.
Good luck sweetheart. I trust the decision you make will be the best thing for both of you and your child. :)

cantstopLinnyG

In states who have recently opened their adoptions records, the abortion rates have DECREASED, much to the dismay of the Anti-Choice lobbyists. They have long fought open adoptions AND access to OBC's, as they have said women would abort, rather than be found by their basturd child years on down the line. Anti-choice people just want more babies for the infertile- they could care less about the first mothers. Their flawed logic has backfired on them.

BTW- I did have an abortion, but for the OPPOSITE reason. Because of closed records.

SJM

Sealed records don't guarantee a mother's anonymity as it is. The mother is usually named on the adoption papers, and the adoptive parents are given a copy of these papers before the records are sealed. The adoptive parents can choose to share this document with the adoptee, and it's perfectly legal. The mother has no control over whether or not her child will ultimately be provided with her name. The adoptive parents are the party whose degree of control over birth information will change with open records.

I have a copy of my adoption decree provided by my adoptive parents in accordance with current statues. My mother is named, and I assure you, she had no say in whether or not I received this information.

Further, if for some reason, an adoption is never finalized, the original birth certificate will never be sealed, and her child will have access to it because it will be the only birth certificate. Parents are NOT guaranteed anonymity under current law. Sealed records were never designed to give any sort of promise of anonymity to original parents.

ETA: Of course. But if a woman thinks closed records promise anonymity, she's either mistaken, or she's been lied to.

Flying Monkey #073177

Nothing would make me choose adoption again. Not open records, not open adoption promises, nothing. I have no desire to ever be pregnant again and no amount of prettying up adoption could force me to carry a pregnancy to term. If I did choose to carry a pregnancy to term nothing would convince me to choose adoption but that is a moot point since I will never bear another child again if it is truly my choice.

I would never choose abortion just because my child could someday find me, I would choose abortion because I just don't want to be pregnant again.

maybe

No, the connection between abortion and open records makes no sense. If I were to choose to have an abortion I wouldn't even be thinking of paperwork/records/adoption. I would only be thinking about my reasons for being unable to continue with the pregnancy. I can't even begin to imagine why abortion would have anything to do with adoption paperwork.

Independ"ant"

Nope...been there had one.

Looking back.....I would have had the abortion again.

Adoption wasn't even a consideration. If I had decided to to carry to term I would parent.

If my only option was to give the baby up for adoption....I would have gone to another country to have the medical procedure done.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

No, I would have an abortion, but NOT because of open records. I just will never choose adoption, open or closed.

However, to answer your question, I would WANT my child to find me. Closed records just seal the deal on abortion for me.

Gypsy Girl

I would not have an abortion (I would have used multiple birth control methods if I didn't want a child - but that is not what you asked)

In my case, I would ask one of my sister's to adopt the child if there were absolutely no way I could raise it so open records would not factor into the decision.

If that were not possible, I still think I would want the child to be able to find me 18 years later. The child would have questions and emotions that would need to be dealt with. I would feel it was my duty to do the best I could for the child even if I was unable to raise him/her.

Philippa

I wouldn't choose either I would choose to parent but if I was forced to choose abortion or adoption I would choose abortion but it has absolutely nothing to do with open or closed records. I live in the UK where records are open and I was coerced into surrendering my son - I wanted to raise him even if it had been difficult. We have been in reunion since 2004 and I have always loved him but nothing can replace the lost years which is a pain I have to live with.

gypsywinter

""Extra points for those who have actually MADE the decision.""

Which 'decision' would that be....for abortion or adoption? Open records only exists lawfully in 6 or 7 states. What if a surrendering mother surrenders in a state where Open Records is still not allowed? Then what? What if the adoptive parent never tells the adopted child, that he/she was adopted, then what? In that case wouldn't matter if there was Open Records, since the adopted child may never even know they were adopted. Are you speaking more to Open Adoption then Open Records?

Jennifer L

In a hypothetical situation that I was pregnant and for some reason the decision came down to abortion or adoption, open records would not factor into it at all. It would not make me more likely to choose abortion.

We all know that there are three possible choices with any pregnancy: abortion, parenting or adoption. I can't think of any situation that would make me rule out parenting, but this is a hypothetical situation so I'm just going along with it.

Personally, the only way I would ever have an abortion is if my life were in danger. Even then, I would get a second opinion (or 3rd, 4th...) But aside from that, I would never have an abortion. Never. I believe that life is precious and that a chance at life is always better than no chance.

I don't think that legally enforcing open records will cause a sudden jump in the abortion rates.

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