If you put your baby up for adoption?

Lori A

That's exactly what I did. I lied about his name on her birth certificate. Here's how that played out. Sealed record laws say that IF the adoptee gets permission from ALL 4 parents THEN they can have a copy of their original birth certificate, which is like gold to an adoptee. They have the right to an unammended b/c just like anyone who isn't adopted.

So my daughter goes looking for her mother and father, she is looking for the WRONG MAN because I lied.

Now, even if we got permission from all 4 parents, which I think we could do, she STILL won't get a copy because her father is not the man I listed. I just posted this question on our blog. IF we get a DNA test done to prove that her father is her father, can we get a copy of her original? What would be the point, her fathers name is a lie. Can we change the birth certificate to reflect her fathers real name? I don't know but it would have to be addressed that I lied. Am I willing to do this in a court of law? YES, but I have two more children that need me and I may have to face charges of fraud.

So you see you need to think this ALL the way through because 35 years later you may be in the same position I am.

BTW her father was the older one and I was the younger one, same reason for the lie, just roll reversal. It sounded good to me at the time, but here I am now trying to fix a 35 year old mistake.

Don't do it.

Robin

Laws vary by state. Check the following website for the laws regarding putative father's rights by state:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/state/

The question should not be "can you" but "should you". My answer is "No!" The father should have a right to participate in the decisions regarding his child!

Turn the question around. If anyone were to ask, "Should a woman have the right to sign off on an adoption, or should it be solely up to the father?", there'd be a 1 million woman march on Washington!

Thanks for the question!

Gaia Raain

Yes. She has to name the father. Either that, or she can figure out how to raise two kids, just like she's already raising the one. There are plenty of programs out there to help her.

Crucio

Yes she would have to but seeing that he is a minor depending on the state she can get into serious trouble even be labeled a child predator. I realize this young man lied unfortunately in the courts it wouldnâ€™t matter. I would find out what the age of consent is in the state your friend is in and then go from there.

blue eyed devil (aka devilhue)

i was giving up for adoption and my birth fathers name is NOT on my birth certificate - i dont know if he knew i existed .......

Qextor

No, but I know one mother who was sued because she had her baby adopted against the father's wishes. He won.

curious

Hi I wanted to give you what information I know from relatives that have had this situation. It is important to tell the birth father. He has first option of getting the child, also for health reasons its important that the father be listed that may occur in the child, the child may want to contact him when he or she can make that choice if he decides not to take the child. The legal stand point of the issue is very very important for yourself and the people that adopt the child and all loose ends needs to be taken care of for your safety and theirs. An open adoption is when you have the right to keep up with the child and can even visit get pictures and be in their life at the same time someone else will be its parents but the door will always be open for you to know how they are and still be in their life. I know its a hard decision and a very emotional time for you but I do wish you all the best and hope maybe this can help you in some way. God Bless You Sincerely Curious.

Jill_01

It varies by state, but unless you choose to deny that you know who the father is more than likely he'll have to relinquish his rights.

Kandygirl

I don't think that you have to have the father sign off.. but I am just going off what I've heard... I don't know really, I've never put a baby up for adoption and I have never adopted a baby.. sorry, but good luck with finding the answer.

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