If you were adopted, don't you feel sometimes when you go to the doctor.......?

Mei-Ling

In my opinion...

You won't know unless you try. And sitting here, contemplating about the "what if I screw up their lives" isn't going to give you any answers. You'll just fill yourself up with self-doubt because you won't know UNLESS YOU ASK. ;)

PhilM

I did hate having the doctor give me looks and wax on about how he wished we knew more about my past.

But independent of that, I did find my mom. And we know have a great relationship. One of the best things I ever did. And now I can answer some of those questions, too.

And for those that think it doesn't make a difference, you clearly know very little about health care. Many illnesses, most especially heart disease, run in families. Testing for early signs, and treating risk factors matter to long-term survival. If you don't know, your doctor won't know how to treat it. (As I know from my first-hand experiences.)

TotalRecipeHound

Just fill out UNKNOWN and tell the doctor you don't know and are offended to be put on the spot. Geezz.. your doctor and his office completely lacks class.

Your personal health history is far more important. Yes, we know we have some inherited problems in our family, but knowing that makes little to no difference in care. Unless you have Marfan's Syndrome, a family history of early cancer or certain other things, it isn't going to make that much difference in the long run.

When it comes time that you might want to know more about your birth parents,don't assume that you will mess up their lives. Many birth parents would like to be found. If you are concerned, get an intermediary.

Steph

I always struggled with that too. If you were adopted through an agency, they might have the birth parents medical info on file. You could try contacting them and figure out what you can do.

LaurieDB

It's very unfortunate that many adopted persons don't know their health history. Medical information is protected by HIPAA laws, so the only way a non-adopted person knows his or her family's background is via observation or asking. Most adopted persons do not have this luxury. A few states make some provision for adopted persons to receive some updated medical history.

As far as meeting one's first parents goes, this is an individual choice. I am happily reunited with mine, and have been so for 7 years now. In fact, not only was I searching for them, but they were searching for me. We enjoy a very good relationship. So, now I not only have access to familial medical information, but I have a terrific group of people in my life that I didn't have before.

Meeting one's first parents is different for everyone. Like any other people, our first parents are simply human. This means that just like any other human beings, some are great people and some are difficult people. There is no guarantee one way or the other. Many first parents want to meet the now grown children they gave up. Most people didn't give up their children because the "didn't want them," but because they felt they couldn't care for them or were given little or nothing in the way of other choices.

You cannot know how a reunion will go without actually having one. Despite ones that are lousy, there are plenty that go well. Even for the people I know who have reunited and found they wanted no further relationship with the other party, most have said that they would still do it again. They feel that knowing is better than not knowing was.

Contact and relationship issues with other people are always a gamble. There are plenty of lousy marriages, but that certainly didn't stop me from choosing to marry. I'm glad I did. I'm also glad I reunited with my first family.

As far as health information goes, I'd say the doctors have good reason for putting emphasis on having this knowledge. I'll trust they know better than the average Joe who says it really doesn't matter. ;-)

C K Platypus

I believe you are entitled to your personal infromation and that your birth parents are obligated to supply you with your medical history no matter how it affects their lives.

LOIUSE

You can request just you medical history from the adoption agency you were adopted through

Carnie C

nope. Never felt that way -- i'm quite sure doctors have dealt with adoptees before as it's not a new thing. mine always said Ok, not that big of a deal and then moved on.

sizesmith

It happens to a lot of people. Some "normal" families don't discuss medical problems until it's too late and a parent has died. In the case of my oldest son, his father left, so we didn't know. Ironically, it's my adopted son who has the best written down medical history of any of us (with 3 out of 4 grandparents dying in the 80-90's from car accidents).

Having worked for a doctor's office before, even though it's in the patient's best interest to know, they come across things like this so often that it isn't a big deal, and doctors and nurses are educated to know that it definately isn't an adoptees fault, and never hold it against the adoptee. Don't feel embarrassed over not having medical records.

Be embarrassed about something like having lice in areas your shouldn't. Much more embarrassing than not having medical history-LOL

AdoreHim

i am adopted and my 2 children are adopted and I have never had a doc do this- however I could see how uncomfortable you may have been, with this doc. About health history- this may be a very unpopular answer, but I have to be truthful to my own life- I have had a chronic pain disease for many years, that could have been inherited. However, really what good would it do , for me to know that. My son has met his birth mom and he knows there is a possibility of an inherited disease. That only makes him more nervous. I am not saying that not knowing is better,I am just saying that it sometimes does not help anything. If those docs and nurses are giving you a kind of a strange look- they have the problem. Sorry you had to experience this.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: