If your parents died when you were a child, would you be eager to be adopted and taken to Germany?

Gaia Raain

I would prefer to stay in my own country, with enough services (and GOOD enough services), a caring (non-abusive) foster family, and people who know that money isn't everything.

Barring any of the above, I'd grudgingly be ok with being adopted to another country. But, as an adult, I would wonder why my country of origin (in this case, the US) didn't care enough about it's youth to take care of me properly AT HOME; but instead chose to dump their "unwanted's" onto foreigners.

This is what we're doing to our black youth in the USA - shipping them overseas, because nobody "wants" them. It's gotta feel pretty crappy to know that, not only did your own family not want you, but your entire country of origin didn't either. (Even if that's not the real reason their family gave them up for adoption, how do they know that unless and until they plunk down thousands of Euro's to come to the USA, find your family, and ASK them...and who do you ASK to find out if your country "wanted" you or not?)

Gershom

something that really "irks" me is that children are removed from their culture, language, families etc. etc. much more than I see the AP's willing to pack up and move countries, learn new cultures, new languages etc.

I have no desire to live in germany. And no desire to be removed from my comfortable home here right now either.

But what REALLY "irks" me even more is that when children lose their mother, they are in a state of trauma. Regardless if she was a good mother, an addicted mother, a horrible mother, it still traumatizes the child. To then, be taken from everything they know aside from their mother and father is.... devastating. I'm surprised more children don't outright die from the removal. Its proof that we can endure a lot in our lifetimes.

And it doesn't surprise me at all that so many young adoptees act out. This is what I base my own theory of RADs and Depression in adoptees isn't a learning or personality disorder on "our" part, its societies failure of us that has caused these SURVIVING and COPING mechanisms just to make it through the transitions into adoption. .

11:28

No actually... I would rather be adopted by family members. Plus i'm not to fond of the German culture.

Mei-Ling

[I would rather be adopted by family members]

*snorts*

The people who would adopt you *would* be your family members. Your "forever family." Isn't that how adoption is supposed to be?

MamaKate

Dear Neils,

Lol, on making the Q even more realisic. Bravo on your research!

I think this is an interesting Q and thought about my answer all day. I was almost an Adoptee and have thought about what my life might have been like had I been raised by my Aunt rather than my parents. I am quite sure I am happier having been raised by my parents than my Aunt dispite their similarities and equal "status" and even considering that there is a genetic relationship between us.

I happen to be a third generation American on my Dad's side and have living relatives in Germany. I was an exchange student there in high school and am familiar with the language and culture. But had something ever happened to my parents I would have prefered to be with my relatives here in the States and continue the mixed culture of my family here and maintain a more familiar lifestyle and "proximity" to my parents.

I have traveled a lot and plan to continue to do so. I think the world is a facinating place but I have learned the for many people, including myself, there is something comforting about home soil, familiar language, smells, tastes - the chemistry of your origins. That is why so many people visit the lands of their ancestors and research geneolgy, forensics and archaeology can identify people from the effects their lands and enviornment have on their bodies - even through generations, men have spilled their blood for centuries over their LAND. Our DNA contains bits of memory from our families AND our cultures. there are so many unexplainable ties to where we come from? It is one of the ultimate questions in life.

Because of this, I sincerely think that even if I had no living relatives anywhere, even if I were an infant, even if it meant growing up among other children in similar circumatances in a group home or with a foster or adoptive familiy, I believe I would prefer to remain in my country of origin - I'd rather just visit everywhere else.

Sofiakat

if it meant that i would have loving parents instead of languishing in a foster home then absolutely Yes!

Angela R

Although it's usually preferable to be raised by a family member and/or remain in the country they were born, if my options were to either be adopted by a family in Germany, or remain in foster care or an institution similar to an orphanage in China, then yes, I would want to be adopted by a German family.

I imagine if you asked those who aged out of US foster care, or an orphanage in China if they would have rather been adopted by a family in another country, I imagine many would also say yes.

Jennifer L

Pretty much cut-n-paste my answer from the China question.

ETA: Ting: It depends on the foreign country. Some recognize dual citizenship, other's do not. (Liberia does not, unfortunately. But the Liberian Congress is considering changing that!)

Your Momma

ummmmmm... no not really, i like america better than germany or china. and i don't want to live in china cause it's a communist country.
very odd question you're asking...?...

cruzgirlz3

My answer is the same. Hell no, but I would make the best of it and enjoy my life regardless. There are certain things in life of which we have no control. We just do the best we can with what we are given.

If i had no family to take care of me or willingly to sure why not. That is better than growing up in foster care. I think the chances of having a semi good home are better than a bad foster home.

rizzo_sos

I'd like to be adopted and taken to Germany NOW.
I went on an exchange trip a few years ago and loved it there.

But, as long as I was adopted by a loving family who could care for me and teach me in the way of the local customs, and basic language skills, I'd be happy. It wouldn't really matter where I went, as long as my adoptive parents made me part of their home and country.

5littlemonkeys

Germany sounds good to me.

Doodlestuff

Absolutely. My family comes from Germany, so it would hardly be an issue with me.

leonard s

sure why not! parents are parents

ralf

You are aculturated by your family and the people around you... So what's your culture if you are an infant or very young??? Is the 3rd plus generation Chinese/American culturally Chinese or American? Mostly by that time they don't speak fluent Chinese... I only go that far because first gen is going to retain almost all of their original cultural leanings and second gen is gonna be a mixed cultural background because their parents were still raised (probably) in China and their peers will be more American, by third they will be pretty much totally assimilated but if you were adopted young enough then you will learn and accept the culture of your parents probably fully and without question until you are old enough to start wanting to learn about your roots.

It would be nice though if where this happens the child could maintain dual citizenship... I don't know if this happens or not?

If I was stolen away all would be different but as opposed to languishing in some kind of institution or getting a good family in another country I'd take the fam. I would of course grow up curious about my lineage and would expect my family to be accepting of that and supportive of me exploring it.

Germany or any first world country with a good human rights history would not matter to me. Problems with China on the other hand are many. Pollution is a biggie. I go there a lot and let me tell you. The statistics that will be coming out of there in 30 years about cancer and other chemical exposure syndromes and diseases are gonna be staggering or they would be if the Chinese government didn't hide all of that away from everyone including their own people (and disappear the people who try to speak up about it). Rising economy or not that place has serious issues its going to need to deal with and maybe even another revolution or a political schizm, either way its gonna get really ugly before they become a world leader with a high average quality of life for its people. We MIGHT see a small percent of the population living large but they will do so at the expense of the many unless real changes take place that aren't happening now. Of course the quality of life and lifestyle of the very wealthy in China is incredible and I wouldn't be too upset about falling into that...

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