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Im a teen who might be pregnant looking for options if i am! Adoption?
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Im a teen who might be pregnant looking for options if i am! Adoption?

Im really young and might be pregnant i am trying to figure out what im going to do if i am pregnant! Abortion is not a option for me. so im looking at keeping it and adoption. I dont know if i would be able to have a baby at 16 i have so much in my life already and i dont even have time for myself!
Additional Details
If anyone has any suggestions on a good website or a place i could find some info, Its very much welcome!


    




tish
Rating
a couple of things:

1) find out if you are indeed pregnant. this is a lot of stress if you are not even dealing with a pregnancy.

2) be careful of any answer that refers to you as a "birthmother." usually, pregnant women are NOT considered birthmothors until they relinquish. any suggestion to that term should tell you you that the person is trying to steer you to give up your baby.

3) any website offered that refers to pregnant women as "birthmothers" is trying to convince you that you are not fit to be a parent. i'd steer clear of those too.

4) open adoption is not legally binding in a lot of states. that means that a potential adoptive parent can say they will let you see the baby, but change their mind once they get the baby.

5) many young people have parented. if you are unsure, please be sure to seek out resources on parenting also.

6) if you decide to place your baby (if you are indeed, pregnant) know that:

-you should make the decision to place for no other reason than you feel unsure you can parent
-you have the right to change your mind anytime before relinquishment papers are signed in court
-the father has the right to petition to keep the baby
-open adoption is not legally binding
-you might give up your child and never see him/her again
-although most adoptive parents will honor open adoption contracts, there are some who just say they will to get the baby.
-you don't have to have the adoptive parents in the delivery room
-you should not make the decision based on someone else's inability to get pregnant
-the decision is usually permanent.

7) be careful of people emailing you to give you "advise." especially if they want to adopt or work for an adoption agency. these people are NOT interested in you, they want your child.

8) if you are not pregnant, i strongly suggest that you use a reliable form of birth control to prevent this scare, in the future.

9) i am a adolescent health researcher/educator and often counsel teens on reproductive health issues. i have no hidden agenda. i do not work for the adoption agencies, i am not looking to adopt (i'm currently pregnant, and able to have my own kids), and have no problem chatting with you off board if you need someone to bounce things off of. i've also been pregnant as a young woman (unlike many on here who are telling you how HORRIBLE it is) and my son and i are doing well.

be well.


jgf5822
origins-usa


LaurieDB
Here are a couple of links for young women considering adoption put together by women who have relinquished their children.

http://www.cubirthparents.org/together.html
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf


Adopted Jane
Rating
Please keep your baby


snowwillow20
Rating
I'm a birthmom, keep your baby if you can. It's hard to live without your baby.


Jennifer L
Rating
First thing, find out if you're pregnant. Take a test as soon as you can, which is right about the time you would be having your period. Some tests say that they are accurate a few days before.

If you are pregnant, be prepared for a LOT of emotions swirling inside and around you. You don't have to make a decision about what you want to do right at that first moment. Pregnancy takes about nine months, so you have time.

My best advice is to do all your research. Enlist the help of family/friends/and the baby's father, if appropriate. Look into all of your options, adoption or parenting your child, if abortion is out of the question for you. Look into all of your resources and make the best decision for you and your baby.

BTW, I always phrase it as "parenting the child" rather than "keeping the baby". Choosing to parent is a lifetime commitment and that means growing up very quickly. It can work, I've known plenty of teenage parents that did a wonderful job as parents. "Keeping the baby" just sounds flippant to me, like a baby is living doll that you're "keeping". Babies outgrow that "living doll" phase pretty quick!

Good luck!


grapesgum
Rating
Adoption? No. Probably not a good idea for you or your child. Even if your family is poor, you can raise your own child as there are social services available.

Do you really want to give your baby away to strangers? Does your family want to lose contact with their family member? Please read about others who have made that choice and regretted it for the rest of their lives.

Fewer than 1% of women and girls who have unplanned pregnancies choose adoption and most of those entrust their children to family members.

Rule # 1 - do not contact people over the internet. It is very dangerous as there are a lot of predators who use the internet.

Rule # 2 - do not contact any of the adoption agencies posted here (or any agency for that matter). They just want to get your baby to sell him/her to make money.

DO contact a support organization for unplanned pregnancy that can help you keep you baby -

http://www.cubirthparents.org/

Please stay well and healthy and ask for help from your family.


Pretty P
Rating
First find out if you are pregnant, sometimes stress can put your body out of whack. If you are pregnant... think about the future of your baby.

I am a birth mom, and I was 13 when I had my first son. I was very young, and there is no way that I could have given him the life he deserved at my very young age. The decision ahead of you is probably the hardest thing that you will ever have to do in your life (if you decide to adopt). I know it was for me. Although your feelings certainly play a role in everything;
think about your baby and what you want for him or her. Are you going to be able to provide those things for the baby? If not, I would suggest adoption. You can turn a bad situation into a blessing for a family that desperately wants a child but are unable to have one. There are several agiencies out there, look into them carefully, and make sure that you are comfortable with them.

There are different adoptions available as well. I chose an open adoption, where I was able to visit with my son and his birthparents until he was 3yrs old. Now they send pictures and letters informing me of how he is doing. I think that open adoption is the best choice if you want to see your child's growth, and to hear about his or her life. Open adoption also leaves the adoption files available for you r child in case they would decide that they want to reunite with you. You are also able to choose the family that your child would be placed in.
If you prefer to not see him then there is closed adoption.

I wish you the very best of luck, just remember that the decision you make not only concerns your feelings but your childs future! And if you decide that you feel your baby would be better off with an adoptive family, know that there is no greater act of love than giving your baby the gift of life and placing its care in the hands of a family that you trust!! I will keep you in my prayers! Good luck!


Gina H
Rating
Dear teen,
First, find out for sure that you are pregnant. You can buy an over the counter test which will tell you in minutes whether you are. If you aren't, get on birth control NOW. Speak to a doctor or go to a clinic such as Planned Parenthood (they have sliding scales to help with the cost) to help you decide the best method for yourself.
If you are pregnant, understand that your life has just become infinitely more complicated. Do you have a parent you can talk to, or a trusted adult in your life? The options of keeping the baby or consenting to an adoption mean that you will go through the pregnancy, with everything that means. Here are my suggestions to you ... my younger sister became pregnant in college, not much older than you.
If you're pregnant, DO find a trusted adult you can deal with. A parent is best, or an aunt, older sister, or a friend's parent.
DO start taking vitamins immediately.
DO stop drinking, smoking, or drug use if that has been part of your life up until now.
DO have a conversation with the father. If you ultimately decide on adoption, you will need his consent. If you decide to keep the baby, you will need his financial involvement until your child turns 18.
DO make an appointment with an OB/Gyn. Any adoptive family will want to know that you have done everything possible to give your baby a good start, and you will want that if you ultimately decide to keep your child.
If you are looking for an adoptive family, feel free to contact me. I will be happy to help you find an agency in your area.
Deciding whether or not to keep your child will be one of the hardest decisions you will ever have to make. Here are a few things to help inform your decision:
Are you now, or are you likely to be soon, financially stable? Having a child requires a lot more money than you think. If you stay in school, which I strongly recommend, you will need day care for your child during school hours, which can be hundreds of dollars a week.
Are you ready to become a parent? What was your upbringing like? Did you ever have responsibility for younger siblings or babysit? Imagine being totally responsible for every aspect of a small child's life. Are you ready for that?
What about your own future? Are you planning on college? How will that be possible with a baby? If not, how are you planning to support your child?
What does the father think? Since you would be going through with the birth, this is a decision you two will have to make together. Is HE ready to be a father?
Adoption, of course, is an immediately simpler option, but it also causes great stress. You can have an 'open adoption' where you get to see the child once in a while, or a closed adoption where you may never know what happens to him or her. Is that something you can live with, even if you are convinced that it is in your child's best interest?
I would be happy to help you process these questions if you need someone who has been there, done that. Feel free to email me if you need to talk.


NC Princess has had a princess♥
Thats a great idea if you decide not to keep the baby! A family would love to adopt your child!


danyell_kenny
Rating
www.Adoption.org


sizesmith
Rating
Hello,
You can talk with adoptive parents like myself. You might want to consider an open adoption where you can visit the baby, and have the legal rights to do so. I adopted my son, and his birth mom chooses not to see him, but she knows where I live, and can see him any time she wants. I want to adopt a brother or sister for him.
Young pregnancy can be hard, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Don't let anyone bully you into anything. You have legal rights which an attorney with legal aid can answer questions for you, such as, no one can make you have an abortion, or give up the baby.

Immediately, you need to take a pregnancy test. They are available at dollar stores, pharmacies, and department stores in the pharmacy department over the counter. They are usually less than $10.00 for store brands, which are usually very effective.

If you aren't pregnant, get birth control. Message me or e-mail me if you want to talk. I've got a homestudy, attorney, and want to adopt.


kikaz_dude
adoption is way better than abortion thumbs up


Sue
Rating
Good for you for considering adoption and ruling out abortion. I would recommend checking out Bethany Christian Services. They are a wonderful adoption agency and have people who can help you work through this. Adoption is the most wonderful gift a birthmother can give to a child.


Boomer Wisdom
I am not an officially Christian person, but I respect these people, and they will treat you and your child with respect:

http://www.providentliving.org/ses/birthmother/wecanhelp/0,12266,2181-1,00.html

My best to you and your child.


jehnifer
Rating
oh adoption is a fantastic option. half of my cousins are adopted because my aunt cannot have children, and i just found out most likely i can not.... so there are SO many people out there that would LOVE to care for your baby.

have you been to the doctor?
you may want to see if there is a plan parenthood in your area, they are really good about having information on all that if you dont have a doctor.


forever14
am willing to open my home to you and the baby and give you both a good and loving home please email me to let me know if you are interested thank you and good luck may god bless you


veronika
I have been hoping to adopt a baby for a long time. If you really find there is no other option please do look at adopting out your baby. I know there are many people dying to adopt a baby and give them a very loving and stable home. However, no matter how many posts your receive ultimately the decision is yours. Do what feels right.


looking to adopt
You have to make your own choice what ever you think is right for you.I see a lot of teens with little one's that r learning that can't take care of them self's which are struggling to take care of a baby.





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