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Im adopted...how do i find my birth mother?
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Im adopted...how do i find my birth mother?

im adopted ...im 13 years old and have known my whole life but i was adopted at birth. my parents wont tell me what my birth parents names are and my birth/adoption records are locked up so how do i find out who she was and all that stuff?


    




Heather B
It is absolutely your birthright to know where you came from and the truth of your origins.

I listened to the mixed messages people spouted about 'she gave you up for a reason' 'leave it alone' or 'don't do that to your parents' blah blah blah

Please don't let them put you off doing a search if that's what you feel you want to do. It took me 20 years to find my Mamma and it turns out that both of us had letters in the adoption file to each other, which the adoption agency refused to pass on because of antiquaited sealed record laws.

Things are changing and records are opening up State by State, myths are being dispelled with each State that opens up

If you want to know the truth of your origins, you can find the truth with perseverance, determination and the belief that it is your right to know.

I'm so sorry that in this day and age people are still perpetuating the stigma of adoption by being so negative toward people with the natural need to know the truth.

Please know that it is a fact that over 90% of mothers want to know what became of their children. There are so many myths and half truths out there!


Linny G
Rating
Hey. I was the same way when I was your age. Heck, I had thought about my other family my whole life. Most adoptions are closed, meaning our parents know nothing about our first moms.

In some cases, our parents feel a little bit scared, and unfortunately, it's up to us to let them know that we love them, and we want to know where we came from. I told my Mom, "well, you had enough love to share when you adopted my brother, I have enough love for all of my parents."

They may know some information, so try and let them know how important it is to you...while at the same time, letting them know you understand why they are upset & that their feelings are important to you, as well.

If they STILL refuse, you can register with free search reunion registries when you turn 18. Im sorry you cant find the info you want. It was very important to me, too.


kitta
Rating
Your adoptive parents might know who she is. They might be willing to tell you when you are 18.

Or, when you are 18, it is possible that in the state where you were adopted, you can find out by contacting the adoption agency that arranged your adoption. They might be able to contact your natural/birth mother. Many states have laws that allow this kind of contact now.

Every state has an adoption unit or office that is part of the state government. They have records on every person who is adopted in that state, or they have the connections to the records.When you are 18, you can contact the Department of Human Services(or social services) in your state and ask for the number for the adoption unit or ask for the person who handles the adoption records. These phone numbers are found in the government section of the directory. They can be found on the internet also, in the state government listings.

Good luck.


katesophia333
Rating
Unfortunately, you aren't allowed any information until you're a legal adult. Enjoy your family, and if you're still interested in finding your biological parents when you turn 18, go for it.


yeahright
They may not know she is. In a closed or private adoption it is highly unlikely they have her current name, address etc.


teenmommy!
Rating
before you decide that this is what you want to do. have you talked to you parents and asked why they don't want you to know? my fiance was adopted and his mother wouldn't tell him who his birth parents were either. and she had a VERY good reason for doing so. usually..parents only keep things from their children when they're trying to protect them.

unless they tell you. you won't be able to find out until you're 18 (legal adult). but i would strongly suggest talking to your parents about why they don't want you to know.


Robynbabybrann
hey i was adopted and i found out on my thirteenth birthday when my uncle was drunk for ages i didn't talk to my parents but then i realized that there much have been a reason for my adoption so i asked my mum and dad and they told me i was take away from my mother as she well she wasn't the best one and part of me want to find out more the other part doesn't want to know the truth can be that your mother wanted to give you a better chance didn't feel she could provide well enough or something a lot more sinister i have decided that my real parents are the ones who have cared for me been there for me and loved me unconditionally are my adoptive parents regardless of biology i told them this and they were over joyed maybe when I'm older i may go and find my birth mother maybe maybe not all i know is that my parents i live with now love me and i love them science has nothing to do with it i don't know if this has answered our question but i hope it has made u think wait till you 18 the truth isn't always as comforting as u wish it to be I'm 15 now and couldn't care less if my biological mother isn't the one i call mother all i know is the one i call mother is my real mother to me same with my father


malcriada24
Ok, I am glad that you have know from the very beginning that you were adopted. First, I am so glad to see that there are people who care so much that they are willing to accept the responsibilities of caring for someone else's child. I would bet you that your Adoptive Parents have shown you an infinite amount of Love, and that is a great blessing. But, what it actually comes down to, is If you are 13 or 36, Are you actually prepared to find out this information? Are you prepared to find out the reason/reasons you were given up for adoption? Most people assume that it was because your biological mother/father could not provide for you. This is not the only reason children are placed for adoption. When you are 18, you may decide that it does not matter who your biological mother is, you may have a better understanding of your adoption. If at any time you do find your biological mother, before judging or jumping to conclusions, ask her to explain her situation to you. Good Luck!


Donnie
Rating
This is why i`m pro choice. see nothing against you but now you want to find your mamma. your mom gave you up for adoption because she probably couldn't take care of you. your mom and/or dad could be having a good life when all of a sudden they get a phone call about their son or daughter wanting to see them. Just be happy with your adopted parents. their your real parents now.


G
iv always known that a was adopted although i have grat parents now, theres not a day that goes by when i think who am i but sometimes you odnt want to meet your real parents but more or less to see if you have brothers and sisters i think i was one off 8 or 9 but we all got put up for adoption only 2-3 stayed with bilogical parents but when time gets on you know what you want cause a was the same as you and now im more happy to wait and see rather than doing it myself due to the reason was domestic violence and me mam made me a book which i found when i was 12 with the story that was my life in black and white what ever you do good luck


eddie
im was adopted and im looking for my mother & father i just found my certfication of birth with my birth record # can anyone help ? what can i do.... thank you


viickkk
i'm adopted.... i found a letter today from my birth mother... made me cry like hell..., im 16 do i have to be 18 to get in contact or can i get my adopted family to try and get in contact with the social servaces and arrange a meeting?


sheena
I understand where you are coming from I have a son your age that was adopted I had him when I was 15 years old My aunt Gave my son up for adoption And I have not seen since But I do wish you the best Finding your biological mother And never give up You are in my prayers ..


RawrTheSecond
I am adopted and I just really want to know who gave birth to me. Its really weired to think that there is a man and a woman out there that I look similar to. My parents even told me her name, but I have been searching for ages and STILL havent found her. I wont give up, though! I feel really sorry for my sister though because her birth mom died a few years back and she never even got to meet her.


Teresa
I am at a loss myself. I searched and searched and I do not have any bad feelings or expectations just a natural born curiosity and I can't believe with information screaming past our heads at lightning speeds that it is unavailable because of sealed records I respect my mother and love her for her decision. but, if I could just get a glimpse not even the typical dream of happily everafter. just cure my curiosity. I understand.It's okay. I just don't know what to do. I have let it go and given it to God so whatever is best will be BUT, Please.





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