Im thinking about adoption but what are the facts?

sarah

I had my first child when i was 16 and she was adopted by a close relative. I did so at the time because i was too young, finances, and a million other reasons that made me realize I wasn't ready to give her all of the things that I think she deserves. And because it was someone I know, I still have close contact with her (as a friend of the family) and can see all of the positive things that can result. It hurt like hell, and it still does, but Ive never regretted it. She is happy, healthy and has all of the things I could never give her. That being said, not having a man around doesnt mean you cant do it if you want to. I have a daughter of my own now, her father isn't in the picture, but were both doing fine, and I feel Im a good mother, NOW. I just wouldnt have been then. In the end, u need to do what u feel is right for the baby, and then youll never regret it. That doesnt make it easy, but sometimes (most times really) the right thing isnt the easy one. I hope everything works out for you whatever your decision.

Alex

I was adopted when I was three months old. and now i am 21. my parents were up front and honest with me about it, and explained to me that my birth mother was 17, and my birth father left her. and so she gave my up for a couple who could care fore me better than her, But i don't hate them for giving me up. My mom (adoptive) couldn't have children of her own, and she always respected my birth mother for giving me up, and so have I. If you don't feel like you are ready to be a mom yet.. and yet you love your child, you should think of what would be better for the baby. .. honestly... and there are adoption agency's where you could get more info. and my birth mother loved me very much, they told me that she cried a whole lot, she named me and gave me a little stuffed teddy bear which i still have. I hope my story helps you.

pepperachu

Me and my daughters mom split early when she was conceived so we where going to go through with adoption. we both weren't ready for this child, so we signed up.
we had a family picked out and everything.
the time came and the baby was born the family flew in but we changed our minds at the last minute.
it has been hard but i definitely don't regret keeping her and I'm sure i would regret the rest of my life if i had left her for adoption.

so my advice is to stay strong, and love this child its gonna love you and its unfortunate the father wont be a man. but it will all work out

if your going to go through adoption, then make sure you can deal with the emotional aspect of giving up your child you carried for 9 months and not seeing it grow up.
also, make sure you find a good family there are defiantly some awesome people out there who cant have a child that want a new-borne.
however there are also creeps out there so watch out

Ranchmom1

For what it's worth, just the fact of not having an involved father won't automatically make your child an angry child. Our granddaughter's father abandoned her and our daughter while our daughter was pregnant with her. Our granddaughter is a great little girl who is happy and sunny and funny and just generally and all around great little girl. She will feel the loss of her father, but adoptees feel the loss of father and mother, so just placing the child for adoption won't necessarily "cure" that.

The woman who wants a child - might she be interested in having you *and* your baby live with her? It sounds like you could really use some emotional support.

Wishing you well.

queen iceis future MD/PhD

i am glad you realized that you haqe some issues that you feel may not make you a good parent. i would suggest seriouly considering being a single mom. i grew uo in bad situations and have a temper but with kids that changes-usually!!! sometimes i have to take breather but for the most part we are ok. i hae an almost 3 yr old and a 3month old and they change your outlook.
if you still think adoption would work better then maybe an open adoption could be considered.
if i were in a better situation i would love to help women in your situation by having an open adoption. so that they could visit and pend time with their kids so that the kids know that mommy loves you she just couldn't take care of you all by herself so we wanted you to stay with me. people do it with grandparents or the other parent theyjust don't usually legalize it.
i agree with ranchmom1, maybe she'd like to allow you both to live with her and she could be another grandma figure or auntie.
maybe you should ask her.

Real Moms Raise Their Children

Don't ask about the facts here...

The nuts here will give you skewed statistics and try to force you to go to weird websites and will even provide a link of books. They are usually pretty bitter about the adoption process, as you will see. Ignore those. If the woman is infertile, she has every right to adopt a child...not only to give that child a loving home but to become a mother herself. Every woman has a right to be a mother. Just because she was not able to have a baby naturally does not mean she has no right to be a mom. That's what adoption is for. To provide loving homes for children who were unwanted and neglected.

You are 18, I don't believe you can adopt just yet, but you might want to go to counseling sessions since you mentioned that you were an angry child. It will help to address these issues with someone, so you can be the best mom you can possibly be. There is nothing wrong with adoption. Don't let the nuts around here tell you otherwise. Some are severely suffering from mental issues.

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