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Possum
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Make sure you read this - and know your rights -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf
Open adoptions are NOT enforceable - meaning the adoptive parents can close up contact any time they please - and usually do.
This child - wants YOU - not a family of strangers.
That's the bottom line.
Adoption is a long term solution to an often short term problem.
There is help out there to parent - you just have to look.
I wish you and your baby all the very best. |
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Stacey1923
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try to raise her,because when u get older u will regret it! |
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X - Ten
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keep her, if you get rid of her you WILL regret it
please return?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20081019170333AAnhS5m&r=w |
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Tommy M
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You will regret it later in life!
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myst1998
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Whatever you end up choosing, you and your child will be the ones to live with your decision.
I suggest you research what adoption is really all about, don't just settle for what you read here, question EVERYTHING you are told by agencies as they just want your baby.
You can raise your baby yourself, you just need to believe you can. It will be difficult, all parenting is difficult regardless what age, marital, financial state. Sure, having a supportive partner and cash on hand can make some things easier but even then you would still have some very real difficulties!
My advice is to read, research, speak to other mothers who have lost their children to adoption or have chosen to raise them themselves. Keep in mind everyone's story is unique and always believe in yourself. Tune into your baby, feel them, know them and listen to what he/she is telling you. No baby wants to be given up and although you will encounter many adult adoptees who might say they were grateful for being adopted, the baby they were probably did not feel that way.
If you make the decision to raise your baby yourself, surround yourself with other mothers, build yourself a support network as it will help you to stop getting isolated. Don't be afraid to ask for help, it is not a sign of weakness, we all need help at some time or other, its normal.
Here are some websites for you to look at and books to read:
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html
http://mystere1998.blogspot.com/
Journey Of The Adopted Self: A Quest For Wholeness - Betty Jean Lifton
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier
There are others, just cannot think of them at the top of my head!
All the best with your pregnancy and the upcoming birth of your baby.
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Mama Randa
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Many, many families are just waiting to be able to adopt a baby, so if you think that's what you need to do, then it will bring light to a very grateful family.
But if you decide to keep the baby, you will be a wonderful mom. It may be hard, but things work out.
The choice is yours alone, good luck figuring things out. |
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Veronica G
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I think you should keep her she would want to know who her actual mom was just try your best! |
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emolicousgirl
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hm.......tough decision i think u should try and raise her |
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♪audrey♪
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umm unless your baby would have a really really bad life with you, then dont. you would regret it for the rest of your life. your child will feel at least a little abandoned in the future for its entire life. |
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Kylie K
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I say keep the baby. You guys wanted to bring the baby into this world and the baby is your responsibility. You should have expected it anyway since you guys weren't married and so you should have known there would be a chance that you would be left on your own. There is nothing wrong with being raised by only one parent. |
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michael h
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raise the babyyourselff be the best mom u can be |
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Sam
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You know what,,,i know it seems hard now, i know it feels like he doesn't care, and no one is out there showing care and appreciation. but I think you need to become a strong woman, truly, read about strong woman who survived HELL,,,actually you are very blessed! And you can become an AMAZING MOM! YES you can! Yes, you can teach that baby strenght, hope and to be always there for everything, Image if you grew up not knowing who your real parents were!?? OMG, that would be very horrible! Be there for your baby, and enjoy him. YES it is a struggle, but you know what you CAN DO IT. without the daddy, you can go to the public library and get self-help books, and don't ever let anyone tell you you cant do it. BECAUSE YOU CAN, IN FACT: you can make you're baby the NEXT SMART BABY who grows up and maybe discovers the cure for cancer. DOn't give up, YOU WILL BE HAPPY YOU DID"T SOMEDAY! I promise you! Look for guidance from positive people, stay away from people who tell you you can't. Eat healthy, and smile! You can change it all for the Best! And you will be surprised! And you know what: CONGRATUALTIONS!!!! Regardless of how old you are!! I am 19 too! |
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bekista2206
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its completely your own personal choice don't let any 1 else influence you about this but YOU! |
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Mom
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It seems like you want what is best for your baby. YOu really need to think about it before you do anything. Look at all the programs that could assist you before you give her up. Remember love can go a long way. I have two children and couldn't imagine my life knowing they were somewhere else. |
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Jacquie
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i was 19 when i got pregnant and i was in the same situation as you are. my bf and i tried for a baby and a month after i got preggo we broke up. needless to say we've been on and off since then and our son is 6 months old. your better off alone without him, if that's the way he is he doesn't deserve you or your daughter. trust me when i tell you young mothers are capable of being just as good as older married women. its a little harder but if your determined and if you love your little girl, you can do it. is it possible for you to move to spain with your family? if you don't think you can provide for your daughter then you should consider adoption but you should try to get your life together as much as possible for her. there are plenty of groups for unwed mothers in our situations. you can do it! |
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lalaglitz2
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keep it if you can support the baby financially and emotionally. |
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robert
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dont ever give up ur baby
it mite be tough but seriously the kid came out of you. its a part of you
y would u want to give it away |
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Amanda
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Keep her! You will regret it! You don't want to go through all that work and end up with nothing in the end. Trust me you will not regret keeping her as hard as it might seem. |
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someonee
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keep your baby!!
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thierrysmum
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you must be absolutely sure you want to give up your baby otherwise you will regret it for the rest of your life.maybe when the baby is born you will bond with it and never want to let it go.i was a single parent to four children yes life was hard at times but they brought me so much love and now they are all wonderful adults with lovely children of their own. |
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Shar♥Baby
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theres nothing more a mother can do than give her love to her baby..and try the best she can..my mother pretty much raised me on her own and im fine...just bcuz u lost someone u thought cared about you doesnt mean there isnt another man that can be with you and love you and your baby like its his own kid...just hire a nanny u can trust to take care of the baby while ur at work..believe me it will be very hard. but youll be so proud when u raised your baby right...all in all its your desicion but i could never give up my own flesh and blood to a stranger than have my baby wonder who i was and why i gave him up...that hurts kids the most when they feel like you never wanted them...idk think about it |
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I heart edward cullen
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Instead of giving her up to a complete stranger and least give her up to your family in spain, they will understand they are your family and they love you. Please dont give your own baby up. |
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Eric
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you should try to be a good mom since your the one who made the decision to have them. |
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Cool Hal
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Great idea - you and your "great fella" decide that you are in a loving and stable relationship at 19 and decide that you want a baby. One month later you split up and decide you dont want a baby.
What do I do - I know i'll "just give her up" - dont worry about the fact that I potentially can screw her life up big time.
Your child will have one set of parents that gave her up and a second where she will be filling something that is missing from their lives.
But hey dont you worry about it - you just carry on being irresponsible and leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces. AND THIS IS THE NICE VERSION. |
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Brynley
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Drop us a line from Spain!
Don't make any decisions until after the baby is born, with the support of your family. |
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Merry
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ok best advice i was ever given and didnt listen to was:
dont do anything unless youre 100% sure of it, if theres even that 1% of doubt dont do it!!!
u can try and bring the child up and if it doesnt work out think about it again dont make a mistake you cant take back you will regret it if there was any doubt
you have 3 months till the baby comes and by the sounds of it youre really going to love it you dont need the fathers deadbeat as* to bring up the child right
dont make the choice now have the baby and try being a mum itll come naturally and theres health workers and friends and support groups that can help you if u need advice dont give up before youve started, you can have the child adopted if you cant manage but at least give it a shot
this is your child bring it up your way bring it up knowing who it is and that it is loved and wanted
at least try
merry x |
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Whaatt?!
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You should definetly keep the baby. If it was concieved by accident then that would be an entirely different story, but you planned to have this baby and now you have to be responsible. There is no reason you cant raise this baby. You can get a job and get child support from the father. Just because you two are not together anymore doesnt make him any less the babys father. You should talk to him before you make such a big decision. |
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Popotitozz R
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Go to Spain with your baby. The quality of life is good there and will be great to bring up a child. Helps you also to forget about the past. |
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SUSAN O
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See what kind of assistance you can get so you can continue doing things you need to do for the baby and yourself. Talk with some professionals you trust. |
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Azy
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I think that you might be doubting yourself too much about being a good mom. The fact that you care enough about your child's welfare means that you will care enough to be a good mom if you keep your baby.
As far as the baby's dad goes, he may not want to have anthing to do with the baby, but he will have to pay child support regardless.
If you keep your baby, maybe you can move to Spain with your family? |
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