In america do you think it is right that babies are exchanged for money?

bananarama

What about the mothers that just dont want the babies? There are some out there. I dont think It would have been best for me to been with my birth mom. Im sorry I just dont agree so i will stop here.

kitta

Adoption is fundamentally flawed, for all of the reasons you have mentioned, and for other reasons. Many, many reasons, but mainly because it destroys the natural family, which is the cornerstone of all societies , all through history, and even in other species.

Why would human beings not want to promote the natural family. We are a social species.

Perhaps you didn't know this, but back around WW2, the federal Dept of HEW set a policy that white unwed mothers should surrender their babies for adoption. This policy was only for white, unwed mothers.

Interesting, huh?

Now, of course, that has changed. Adoption has become more "colorful."

We are dealing with the Infertility Lobby, the Adoption Lobby, the Government Social Program, the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, and the therapy industry, and many others who make their living off of adopted people and the "triad.'

julie j

Hi Wer W,

What was once about finding homes for orphans has morphed into an ugly, child-trafficking business redistributing children to adults who feel they need children & have the money to get what they want. This process rakes in 4.2 Billion dollars annually to adoption agencies, adoption attorneys, & related professions. I totally agree with you that adoption practices have become despicable. Buying/Selling humans is illegal UNLESS you attach the word "adoption" to it. Then apparently it becomes fair game, and those involved get to pretend they are doing heroic acts. Anyone who does not believe selling children is happening has not looked very hard online yet. (See link in sources for example. Yes, the lowest priced children on this site are $16k up to $37k depending on race. I've posted links to similar sites in the past. There are 100's if not 1000's of them out there & none of them see anything wrong with what they are doing.)

I also agree with you that families should be protected rather than encouraged to separate. Practices such as "open adoption" are purposely deceptive to procure children for clients. Incentives such as large tax credits exist for those who adopt other people's children - not just true orphans or abused children either. We're talking about children who just happen to be from poor families and children who just happen to be born to younger, unmarried parents who would do just fine with the families in which they were born. I agree that no woman really knows she cannot raise her child until she has actually tried it. I support providing temporary assistance to such families in order to keep them together instead of permanently severing the familial bonds. I also recommend completely removing the profit aspect from all adoptions.

Additional ideas:

1) No prebirth matching ever. Totally coercive! This includes no "Dear Birthmother" letters, no prospective adoptive parents in a woman's labor & delivery room, and nobody should be paying any of her expenses with the expectation that they should get a baby out of the deal.

2) No adoption decree should be granted unless the relinquishing parents have received counseling & legal representation from outside, disinterested parties. No adoption agency workers should be allowed to "counsel" expectant mothers nor provide legal advice for them.

3) Anyone working in the adoption industry should never be allowed to approach expectant mothers. All adoption arrangements should be made after the birth of a child after the mother has had a chance to bond with her baby & see that yes, she can take care of her own baby. I would suggest a minimum of a couple months. There will not be a shortage of prospective adoptive parents waiting to adopt a child of that age.

4) Provide assistance to achieve the goals of family preservation. Other countries do more than the U.S. when it comes to food, housing, medical care, childcare assistance, etc.

5) If "open adoption" is going to be dangled like a carrot to entice mothers into considering adoption at all, then it should be a real carrot. Make it legally enforceable as they do for children of divorced parents. Yes, it can be done.

6) While some states are pushing for shorter, legally final periods of time for parents to relinquish their rights, I think they should be longer. This is a very important decision & it should not be rushed nor made under the influence of pain drugs or hormones. Utah is the worst offender and there is no allowance for a revocation period there. Women should never be transported across state lines in order to give birth in a state that grants her fewer rights as a parent.

7) All legal fees need to be totally transparent to all! Every fee should be reasonable and accountable for. There should never be anything extra added in for children of different races or genders.

8) Adoption records should never be altered! The adoptees as well as all of their parents should have access to complete, accurate records at all times.

9) Full, complete information should be provided to anyone considering adoption. This information cannot come from an agency alone. They need to know the affects on themselves and on their children both short & long-term. They need to speak to others who have experienced it. They need to read books & blogs. They need to know all of their rights & all of the industry's legal loopholes before they can make any informed decision.

10) After all these safeguards have been followed and a mother changes her mind about relinquishing her baby within the revocation time frame, her baby should be returned to her IMMEDIATELY! No games, no delays, no excuses! This needs to be enforceable and adoptions that proceed should be grounds for annulment. Serious consequences should be enforced for those who try to keep children who are not legally theirs.

11) If all of these guidelines are followed & both parents still wish to relinquish their parental rights, then a home for the child should be sought with the child's grandparents or other relatives first before considering strangers.

Thanks for asking this good question. Hopefully you will get lots of other ideas too.

julie j
reunited adoptee

MamaKate

I wholeheartedly second Kitta's answer!

Temperance

I agree that this is the sickest thing in the whole world! Well, actually after ethnic cleansing, and hunger, and poverty, but still, it is SICK! What are we? Spam meat? We are prepackaged and can be molded into any form a parent would like. I hate this form of human trafficking that is considered LEGAL! Open adoption is just terrible too, these APs promise to keep in touch and then just break it off since they have, THEIR CHILD. I think anyone who can give birth to a child can parent one, if they are unfit parents aka abusive then I believe that they are in the parent and I have no objection whatsoever. Society's outlook on the whole institution of adoption is the reason why fit mothers who are unwed, or poor, or just teenagers are forced to give up their proper young! And on top of that the children become brainwashed into My adoptive parents are SAINTS! That's not true. This country ha some major problems. Adoption is one of them.

-Tempe,
A molded, inedible piece of SPAM!

Jane S

What's the point of adoption?

cmc

"I think woman should have the chance to parent her child unless otherwise unfit to do so." - they do have the chance, but may choose not to. I don't think they should have to parent a child they don't want. I definitely think coercion should be eliminated from adoption, but fully support a woman's right to choose adoption. Not everyone is a good parent (adoptive or otherwise). Not everyone is ready to be a parent. I am glad that in the US women can choose adoption, and aren't forced to abandon their children like in other countries.

Crucio

I do think finding parents after the baby is born would be wise. That said some expecting mothers want to pick out their PAP before hand. In the end I think it should be a decision of the expecting mother whether she wants to pick her babyâ€™s PAP before the baby is born or pick them after. Adoption fees should be less but at this point it has to do with people looking to adopt are willing to pay that but there should defiantly be a cap and the price should not vary depending on the childâ€™s race.

Natural parents and Adoptive parents should honor their agreement if they choose to go with an open adoption. Yes there are some natural parents who donâ€™t stay committed to the agreement that they were going to have an open adoption since both parties agreed to it then they should both honor that agreement. If things happen where the arrangement needs to be reworked then they should all meet together and talk it out. As far as enforcing it you probably donâ€™t see it because what would you do to someone who broke their agreement? charge large fines to the AP's or NPs, throw APs or NPs in prison. Have the child removed? Removing a child from their home/family would not benefit the child at all so I very highly doubt that would be a repercussion.

Randy B

Since you've asked a tonne of questions I'll answer them in the order they appear:

- I think that is an over simplification.
- Yes
- No
- Not really a question
- They don't
- Perhaps but not in all cases
- Yes
- I'm not sure
- The same way you get others changed that you don't agree with. Lobby your representative at the required level.

OMG, my head hurts now.

Obviously the adoption agency needs to make money, for more kids that come in so they can feed them before they are adopted, (bought.) by other families. However, I think they charge way too much. It should be non profit, or very small profit. (I think the money they "sell" the kids for should be enough to feed and look after the others before they get adopted, do nessacary things to keep the agency looking good and to pay their workers. That is all.

Hope that made sense. Yes, i do think It would be a lot easier if agencies wern't involved, a pregnant mother can just go to court with another family, get her child legally adopted, and the adoptive family only has to pay for the court and medical bills of the mother and they can arrage things themselves, such as the adoption being OPEN or Closed by the law. xxxxxx

leon21agustus

The practice is not right in any corner of the world, but then most probably the payment is meant to show how serious the couple is in taking the baby for adoption.

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