In the military adopting a kid, strange situation?

Nicole F

When you have dependents in the miltary, there are a few benefits that change. First, If you get BAH your rate increases, but I think that the dependents have to live with you, or that you have to be a geo bachelor to have this be true. I do believe that sometimes child support can factor into eligilbilty but I'm not sure.

Any dependents that are enrolled in DEERS are eligible for Tricare which would cover medical and dental. All benefits and entitlements come via you.

I admire that you would like to help a child, but you're talking about some pretty serious issues here.

First, why isn't the mother responsible for her own child? How are you helping her by making it so that she isn't responsible for her own child?

Second, once you adopt a child you are legally, financially and morally obligated to care for that child. The woman could conceivably turn around and sue you for child support, you could end up on the hook for half it's college, medical, dental and living expenses ( or god forbid something horrible happens all of them!)

Third, what happens in the future when/if you and/or she find someone they actually want to be a family with? How does this child fit in.. As much money as you may think you have and are making now, a military salary really doesn't go as far as you might think it does. And what happens when/if you aren't in the miltary anymore? A commitment to a child should last longer than a duty station/ enlistment.....

Fourth, you are talking about something that could possibly be perceived as being close to defrauding the government and that could seriously affect your military career/ your access to pay and benefits, so I would make sure I had this cleared through my chain of command prior to any action.

Gaia Raain

My guess is that, as long as you're handing those benefits over to the mother (who is, by the way, raising the child you want nothing to do with, and footing the bill), then yeah, sure you can get the benefits. Or, I suppose you could be a weasel and lie to your CO about living with the girl so that you can get the money and pocket it.

TotalRecipeHound

This is confusing. The only way you can get benefits from the military is if you or your spouse is in the military. Military benefits don't come with the kid.

hahunter88

It all depends on your Rules and Regulations, as far as what country you are serving in. The age of the child could make a difference also. Their are plenty of case law about the Vietnamese adopting children from that war. Best Bet would be to ask your companies legal person in S-1, they should know what the rules are............Good Luck!!

Mykia15

nope no help if whoever just want money u cant do it so done marry her

Cindy A

Everything about this a bad idea!

mscrawdad

If the soldier is the father, then the child is eligible for benefits whether you live with them or not. The soldier is not eligible for any additional benefits as far as I know. If the soldier is not the father biologically or through adoption then the child does not get any benefits. Good luck.

BPD Wife

So if I understand you correctly, there is a girl who had a child and the father of the child wants nothing to do with it. You are either the father of the child or the "boyfriend" of the girl. Either way, you are right - it is a strange situation.

If you are the father of the child, then you are required to support the child - regardless of whether or not you marry the girl. The military benefits should automatically be available if the child is yours. So that is why I believe you are the "boyfriend" of the girl in this situation.

If that is the case, and you have no desire to marry the girl, live with the girl or the child, then you cannot get benefits from the military. Adopting the child would make you responsible for the child, but that would also mean living with the child - because that is a requirement of the adoption process. If you are not willing to do that, I don't believe you will find a court in the land that will allow you to take "advantage" of the system just to obtain military benefits. It is illegal and immoral and the courts will not allow the adoption to be finalized.

I'm sure that you are trying to do what you think is best for the child - in obtaining military benefits to help with expenses. However, adoption is permanent - and should not be gone into for the wrong reasons. Wouldn't you feel horrible if the court decided against finalizing the adoption and then took the child from the mother simply because they felt what you were doing was illegal? It's something to think about.

Good luck to you, the mother, but most importantly the child.

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