International or Domestic Adoption?

Jennifer L

International adoption is a very complex and complicated process, from adopting to parenting a child of another race, culture and (often) language. I think it is good that you're learning Mandarin if you are considering a Chinese adoption. You're only 18, so you are probably at least 10 years off of pursuing any form of adoption.

That said, I am going to recommend that you do a lot of research into the complexities of international adoption. You do need to seriously look at your motives: are you trying to "save" a child? If so, that leaves a child with the burden of gratitutide for getting what every child deserves: a stable, safe and loving home. Are you trying to collect children of different ethnicities to prove to the world that you aren't racist? If you are looking for an adoption that is "less hassle" and less chance of "birth mother drama", what are you going to tell this child when she is a teenager and wants to find her family of birth? Adopted children grow up. And many have the very human desire to seek their roots, their family and country of origin.

Any way you spin international adoption, a child loses his/her country, culture and language, along with their first family. Is being adopted by foreigners preferable to living out life in an orpahage and "aging out" at 14 or 15 with no education and no means to support yourself? Yes, in my opinion. But it doesn't negate the fact that the child had a lot of losses in his/her young life. Adoptive parents of any flavor need to be prepared to help their children deal with this, but I think it's even more important for parents of international adoptees. Learning the language is a start, but it goes a lot further than that.

The lesson to take home from this is that international adoption is not what the media is telling you. The reality of it is far more complex and challenging than this glamorized fantasy of picking out your own beautiful China doll and everyone lives happily ever after.

If you wish to pursue international adoption when you are older, please take the time to really educate and prepare yourself. Go into this with an understanding and respect for the complexities involved. You do your children and yourself a disservice if you do not.

Kim_T

Let's be honest. You are 18 years old and are in love with the idea of adopting internationally. You have not done any research on the subject though. While you may grow up and adopt eventually, you will find that adopting 7 or 8 children is unrealistic for most people.

I am an international adoptive mother. My daughter is from China. China and many other countries have implemented the Hague Agreement which has made international adoption much more difficult. You now have to have a back ground check done for every city you have ever lived in in addition to the FBI back ground check. In the past you needed one local police back ground check from the city you live in when you apply and the FBI back ground check. You have to take a hague certified classes. China is not the only country that has joined the hague countries. Most countries are part of the Hague Agreements.

China has tightened the rules and regulations. There are so many people who have successfully adopted and are excellent parents who no longer qualify to adopt from China. You must be at least 30 years of age and married before you adopt. If you have any medical issues at all you cannot adopt. If you are single you cannot adopt. You must show a net worth of at least $80,000 and make a base income of 10,000 plus 10,000 per person in the family including the adoptive child. That means minimum $40,000 for the first child, $50,000 for the second $60,000 for the third, etc. If you have any facial deformities, you may not adopt from China. Oh and you better keep your criminal record squeeky clean. I have heard of people who were denied permission to adopt because of juvenile records and indescretions. The rules and regulations go on and on.

As for Spain and Portugal, you might want to research that as well. Spain has the second highest number of adoptions from China second only to the US. Why do you suppose that is?

I know lots of people who knew they would adopt children when they "grow up" and actually did it. I do not believe that your age alone is enough to really squash what you believe you want. When I was you age I wanted 6 kids. I am now 45 and can only afford to support and care for one the way she deserves to be cared for and I am not poverty level. Kids are expensive.

I am a full supporter of adoption when necessary. I believe it is best for children to remain in their birth families and birth cultures. Unfortunately, that is not alway possible and alternative options must be considered. Adoption provides families for children that need them and and children for families who want them.

sunny

What are my thoughts?

That you are very young.

Why not go to college and TRAVEL to China, Spain, and Portugal? Or join the Peace Corps?

In the meantime volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

yahooisacommiewebsite

You are just very young now. Hold that thought and be back after 10 years.

STUPID AS STUPID DOES

Grow up & come back in ask this question in 7 years.... You cant even adopt internationally being that young

Mei-Ling

[and the chances of the child being taken away from you]

So are you doing this for the child or more for youself?

If your answer was "For the child AND me", your message implies otherwise; that you are too concerned about the bio parent wanting to keep their own flesh-and-blood offspring.

As someone who's currently studying Mandarin to communicate with her biological family and who has spoken with them on Voice Chat - it is a lot harder than just reading that a PAP is saying "I'll support my child in learning about their culture and background."

It is physically and emotionally draining. Please, please PLEASE check out my blog before you decide to dive into things headfirst.

http://sisterheping.wordpress.com/

Independ"ant"

Sounds like you've made up your mind so why bother asking.

I would recommend you get that education your persuing first. Hopefully, it will do some good.

tickled blue

I agree with vant a cookie.

You are too young; you vilify and misunderstand domestic adoption, and, to answer your question, I would only adopt through US foster care.
Stick around and read some of the questions and answers posted. there are numerous 'horror stories' concerning international adoption. Neither is fail proof, and since you 'want 7-8 children' you can bet that your adoptive children will have issues with inclusion, personal time, etc. I'll let others respond on international adoption specifically.

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