Is Adoption to Quck?

birthdad in hell

yes it is to quick. my g/f disappeared 8 months pregnant and gave our daughter up. within 2 weeks a family was chosen and papers were signed after the birth and they went home with her. they knew i had refused and answered the lawsuit with my intent to contest. now my daughter is 19 months old is still with these people and all though i did everything and then some, she is still with them because the agency kept delaying the trial then got the family to intervene and delay it longer. now because of the development stage my daughter is in i am being told the best i can hope for at trial is shared custody because it will emotionally endanger my daughter to sever the bond. all parties including the family knew i refused consent before she was born but there are so many holes for them that they get away with it on a daily basis

Gaia Raain

I think that for adoptive parents, it can be. But then again, time isn't what we need. Education is. And the "education" we are given is seriously lacking. It took me a LOT of research to find ONE book, and a few web sites that were dedicated to the adoptee's point of view. It wasn't until I found you all on here that I REALLY got my education.

ETA: I'm sorry, I didn't clarify. I knew what you meant to ask, but it got me thinking about how things are handled from the PAP side of things, and I wanted to throw that in there. Now looking back, my answer makes absolutely no sense. LOL But I'm going to leave it because, heck, why not.

opedial

Well five year journey for us is not quick. And for my children who were in care for two years not quick. And for their other mom, who tried to get clean many times it was likely too quick, she wanted many more chances.

I don't know how it works for new borns (it is pretty rare where I am from for anyone to adopt a newborn), but hopefully if it is quick, it is so becasue the mtoher really knows what she wants.

IDK!!

I agree.....

I have seen people state that "even dogs are allowed to spead 8 weeks with their pup."

I though, well, moms could too BUT, when they see that there is a 72 hour waiting period (in my state) I think that they are under the impression that they HAVE to sign right at 72 hours. A waiting period is just a minimum.

We did a private adoption and our sons parents signed the relinquishment papers 3 months before finalization IN COURT, when my son was 15 months old.

I agree whats the rush? If it were meant to be, then it would be.

39 Weeks Pregnant!

No. Choosing adoption is not a quick process at all. I met with a counselor 1-2 times a week for 8 of my 9 months of pregnancy. I spent hours reading books on adoption and doing research. A birthmother is required to go through a certain amount of counseling before relinquishing her rights....anyone who thinks this is an easy decision....well you are wrong. Even if you don't want to be pregnant you develop a bond and connection with the baby over the 9 months you are pregnant. Giving my child up for adoption was harder then raising her! It takes a lot to be able to recognize you aren't ready to be a parent, you aren't ready to provide your child with everything....it takes A LOT to chose life for your child....to be in labor for 27 hours and then hand that child over to someone else! It is not an easy decision.

oopsydaisy

Some people have no choice but to jump into adoption quickly. Afterall, its meant to be in the best interests for the child. I think again, it goes by situations. Some people are not actually given any advice or counciling before they make such a descicion. Thats a real shame and very sad. Some people will say that its the agencies who push and push and dont offer advice, but I dont believe that to be entirely true. I think people are looking for someone to blame. Why not shoot the messenger?

I think families of the mother involved (presuming she has family), should take a step up and help. I DO know that some agencies are pushy and I am not iggnorant to that, but the blame shifting is becomeing a bore.

More family planning advice
More family support
More NHS support
GP support

JustMeTiff

I was adopted myself... and my second child was adopted... I think maybe some people use this in the wrong way.. but you know.. there are a lot of women out there that are so deserving of babies and can't have them... let these heartless women have them and let these deserving women adopt them... Adoption is a beautiful thing....

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: