Is FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME worth fighting against?

HappyMomAnna

The beautiful children I love, have the same mother. Born 4 years apart they show very clearly the Progression of Alcohol and Drug addiction. The oldest was affected by alcohol, weed and a general party girl kind of lifestyle. The younger was affected by the most addictive drug known, with some of the worst effects on the Person using.

Someone Not knowing better--would assume our youngest son would be far more limited--far more hurt--far more damaged. What kind of life could there be being born addicted to heron?

He struggles, he is a little slow--he has some intestinal issues. But, when he makes progress he makes progress and overcomes. He understands, learns and one day at a time he shows a natural line of development. His Brain Works even if it takes a little longer for him to Get It.

Our little girl is the most brilliant sunshine--a sparkle of Light. Born with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder--specifically Alcohol Related Neurodevelopmental Disorders. Some thing that CAN be seen on Pet Scans, EEG's and with part of an ear on her cheek.

Her life is chaos for her. Nothing makes sense. Her world is disconnected for her--and for anyone who is around her. She cannot learn something today and remember tomorrow--but, on some days she might? For her--Not every Number 7 is a Number 7, some may have a cross line, some my have a little hook, some may be written as "Seven" some VII some tilted left--or right. Each number 7 is not the same as the other--each is different--and Each number 7 means something else--no two are alike. Seven is Not the same on the clock, not the same on the Phone, not the same on the page of the book. No two number sevens are alike--each must be learned from the start--each must be taught individually.

For her Every part of her life is a Number Seven. For us, every lesson in life is the same as teaching her that this 7 really does mean the same thing as that seven.

If I could stand before God and have One Answered Prayer--I would beg Him to give her a brain that didn't have lesions that will Never go away--I would beg him to give her a connected Corpus Callosum so that her right side could communicate with the left side of her brain. I would beg God to Let all her Number 7's be the Same.

Instead, I stand here before God and Beg him that No Other Child EVER live this kind of life. That No other child ever face the Expectations of Knowing How to walk in a world that just expects her to KNOW that 7 and seven is 7 all the time.

Anyone who has not Loved a child affected by being Pickled before birth MIGHT just assume my son born heron addicted would have so many more issues... We live this expectation as we stand by to Catch her when she is judged--to hold her when she is hurt--to protect her from the fact that One side of Her Brain tells her, "Do it -- DO IT!" before the other side has a chance to remind her, "Wait, You just heard someone say, Don't Do it--or you know that is a lie, or you know the Rule says Not to..."

As...those around her, Chime in to say, "She does that on purpose--She knew the answer yesterday, She is Just Playing you for a Fool--she is so much smarter then you can even see..."

Yes, she does--on one side of her brain... but, she doesn't have a brain that will ever be Okay--she will Never Heal from this one day--she will only learn to Get By--it will only get harder for her--more noticeable as she gets older--more risky for her as she is given more privilege--more difficult as the expectations increase...and with any sign of progress--she is expected to Think Abstractly, remember the lesson and progress, even if just a little slower then her brother.

This is forever. It will never be different and will only get harder. There may be a chance that One day she can Know every 7 is the same--but, she may not the next. This is her Life. Not her fault and no matter what other labels are put on her there is No Cure for Brain Damage.

That's what drinking booze does. That's what happens to a persons brain. Some are hurt more then others. Some pretty little girls don't have ear on their cheeks... Others have it worse. It's a spectrum.

Sadly, most children with FASD are the children of those parents WHO don't have any idea why their child HAS PROABLEMS... Most are still with their biological parents--who as Alcoholics know are the best in Denial... Most Children with FASD are the children who's parents don't have a clue why their child is a mess. Most are untreated, unidentified--people who never get the fact that 7 is 7 all the time...

They attend school with your children. They are 1 out of every 1000 (best we can tell) and perhaps, many are the reason Children today seem to have so many problems. In the past Many died at birth and today--many are saved.

I try hard not to notice them. As to do so is to accuse a mother of the crime of intentionally giving her child my child's life.

Flying Monkey #073177

Canada doesn't think so, personally I do. My brother was born with FAE. While he is quite normal he does have challenges that are due to alcohol exposure in the womb. If FAE/FAS isn't worth fighting for then I guess the people affected by it aren't worth helping (insert sarcastic snort here)

PhilM

Adoptees are told all the time that they should be quiet about the damage adoption does because everyone has problems. So I can empathize with you. Of course it's worth fighting against.

Independ"ant"

"is FETAL ALCOHOL SYNDROME worth fighting against?"

Absolutely......You can start by calling the insurance companies and gov't on all levels. They are not giving alcoholics/substance abusers the support needed to help them get/stay sober.

Insurance companies will throw money out the window for people desiring drugs like viagra or IVF but if an alcoholic ask for them to cover their stay in rehab....they are SOL. Most addicts cannot afford the 10g or whatever it costs to go to private clinics for 30 days.

Serenity71

If from all your efforts to make people aware of the dangers of alcohol and pregnancy saves one child from it. The babies mother choses not to drink a drop while pregnant then its ALL worth it. By default you may just make an expectant mother think twice about using other substances.

For all you know, you could have already saved a baby from FAS simply by talking about it.

All the best!

Edit; I'm glad you posted it here.

AdoreHim

It absolutely is worth it. I am so sorry that your baby suffers from FAS- you are wanting to get info out there and help so that other innocent babies do not have to suffer. Just because there are other issues that can effect the baby in the womb- that does not mean that you should not emphasis getting the truth out about how alcohol can effect the fetus. The people that go through these things are the ones that should have a voice.

crzymmof8

I have 8 adopted children. They all have FASD (some with FAS and some with ARND). Watching them struggle with developmental, emotional and medical issues I have to say YES it is worth fighting against. I teach a parenting class for other parents of FASD kids and have done everything in our area I can think of to help with awareness. The more people who work on getting the message out the better! Keep it up you are not alone and you are doing what is right. You are right even if it only changes one person it is worth it.

Bodhi

Yes! Fight! I'm sure those who suffer later wish they'd had a voice when the damage was being done. You're that voice for them.

TerraMere

Yes, it is very much worth fighting against...those being effected have no voice and need all the advocates they can get!

C Wood

This is one of many things all worth fighting against.
Fetal Drug Addiction is equally important, and you might want to consider making it a joint battle against both drugs and alcohol. Keep in mind that many alcoholics are also drug addicts.
cw

Nameless

Yes, anything that permantly damages somebody else is worth fighting for. After all, driving without seatbelts is not the ONLY thing that can harm you in a crash, and jumping off a cliff is not the ONLY thing that can break your neck, that doesn't mean either is an acceptable practice.

23 year old texas female married

Sure it is. Fight for what you believe in! Fight for the TRUTH! Fight for PREVENTION! If somebody doesn't know about and if nobody ever tells them about how will they ever know! I didn't realize what Mediterranean anemia was and now I am worried about my son and won't find out into July if he has it. I feel terrible for my baby boy and it's kinda my fault for not researching it since I knew his father was a carrier. I thought it was the same thing as iron deficiency anemia but it's not. It is worse. In one way this might explain his drop on the growth chart. He went from being on the 50% to 25% on height. I wonder how many kids have it and don't even know.

anners

Yes it is worth the fight because it does have serious effects on babies. While I understand that alcohol is not the only thing that can harm babies it is important to stand up for the innocent and defenseless. You are doing the right thing by trying to educate people on your experience. Too bad that your baby has to have this condition. You seem like you don't want anyone else to see their babies suffer from FAS.

snowbarbie

Absolutely!

If people didn't fight for what they believe is important, nothing would change, nothing bad would be banned, people would be apathetic and go around not caring about anything.

Keep fighting, heighten awareness of the dangers of Alcohol on the unborn.

I know two children who will suffer all their lives because their mothers didn't care enough to put the gin & tonics down for 9 months - it is the kids who suffer, the mother is fine - but the children live with life-long learning disabilities.

It is so sad.

Randy B

Stopping anything that will harm a child is always worth fighting against.

I think though that you will find differing opinions of whether or not drinking during pregnancy will cause problems. I remember seeing a documentary on a major US network last year where two women were being followed during their pregnancy. The two women had been life long friends and the show was just simply to follow them during their pregnancy.

A big part of the show was to show how different they were in how they approached pregnancy. One woman was not drinking a drop and her Doctor had encouraged that. The other woman was having a glass of wine with dinner most nights and her Doctor was the one telling her that it was ok do to so if she wanted as long as she limited it to a glass with dinner. He said that there was no proof that a casual drink would cause problems. Both had healthy babies but I couldn't help but wonder what kind of woman couldn't NOT have a glass of wine with dinner for the time of her pregnancy. If a pregnancy isn't enough to get someone to quit drinking (and smoking) then nothing is I guess.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Absolutely, it should be considered criminal and mandate a stay in rehab for the duration of the pregnancy for those who are tee-totalers.

Education regarding "even one sip" needs to be made "louder" and more visible.

It is worth it...don't get discouraged. You are to be applauded for speaking up for the ones who cannot and for those who are just ignorant about that one sip.

Rowan

It certainly is! Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Anything that could potentially harm a child and have lasting , lifetime ramifications needs to be addressed and seen for what it is.

I will never believe that drinking ANY amount of alcohol at any point in a pregnancy is ok. It only takes one drink, at the wrong time, to damage a child. Why risk your childs well being?

Keep doing it.

Angela Q

It is, but...

The problem is that the women you need to reach are the ones who are totally outside the system. They are dead drunk much of the time, and they wouldn't pay attention to the messages you are sending even if they heard them. These are women who may not be getting any prenatal care.

At the same time, there is no evidence that having a single glass of wine a day causes FAS. Convincing women to go from 1 glass a week to none will not reduce the rate of FAS. So what will you do to reach the women you need to reach to have an effect on one child? âˆ Â°)

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