Is International Adoption unpatriotic?

Still Me

As a Counselor working in adoptions for many years, I have struggled with this for a long time. There was a time, 15-20 years ago, when babies of color were not being adopted as readily as they needed to be here in the U.S. Thank god that is NOT the situation anymore. ALL babies have many hundreds of qualified and apaproved adoptive parents waiting for the opportunity to parent them! : )

This is a good thing!! But now, more and more parents go to other countries for their baby. "Shortage" of Caucasian babies here in the U.S. WAS the reason (jstification) many U.S. parents fled to other countries -- like Russia, etc. But now, the issue is not a race issue, really. Now, parents are afraid of adoption disruption (birthmothers/birthfathers challenging the adoption). Why is this more prevalent in the minds of prospective parents? Uh, Lifetime, Montel, Maury, etc.!

Actually, yes, international adoption has a much smaller disruption rate. But, why? Because most of the babies who are adopted internationally are from very poor countries, with very poor birth parents who may feel desperate to feed themselves, or their other children, or in some cases, have had their babies torn from their arms! But, many U.S. parents have no idea of this insidious abuse, or, turn their heads away from it.

So, here we are. Fewer babies to adopt in the U.S. More babies to adopt in other countries.

The real victims in all of this are the children, aside from birth parents and adoptive parents alike who may get hurt in this sytem which now attracts some unsavory, unscrupulous and downright unethical baby brokers! They are not Social Workers, they are not adoptive parents, they are not birthparents who decide they want to run ethical and caring adoption agencies becasue of the special link they have to adoption. Instead, there are just people out there on their quest for the almighty dollar --- at other's expense, running adoption brokerages.

But there are plenty of older children right here in the U.S., over 500,000 to be exact, waiting in foster care, being moved from home to home an average of 18 times! This is truly a U. S. tragedy!

Angela R

We've adopted internationally twice. We were not trying to "heal the world", we were trying to start a family, and found that international adoption, for many reasons was the best option for our family.

The children in foster care you mentioned are mostly older children (8yrs+) some in sibling groups, many have suffered abuse and neglect, and have emotional, developmental or behavioral issues. Ofcourse these children need homes, but many prospective adoptive parents could not provide the special care and resources that these kids need.

Many who hope to adopt a reasonably healthy infant or young child of any race will find that there are far more prospective adoptive parents then babies in the US. Also the risks and unpredictable time frames associated with private domestic adoption make international adoption a much better choice for many families.

OrangeCharlie

I think that adoption is wonderful no matter where the child is from. Simple as that.

Halo Mom

No
I know several people that choice International Adoptions, for several reasons
I knew a girl, who married a man from India, and It was cheaper and easier for them to adopt from India.
I know several who choice international adoption because they are final, and nobody can take the child away from them.

I do not think unpatriotic.
I do think, that the Forster care system is not set up for as many children they have
Not all parents will give up their rights for their children, so the children can not get adopted, and raised in Forster care

cagney

i think the foster care system is a great way to grow your family. but unfortunatly our foster care system is set up to return children to their birthparent's first and foremost. as it should be, but regulations need to be stricter for returning children i believe. many children are removed several times before the parental rights are taken away. by this time the child is 8+ years and may have emotional and socialogic issues many prospective parents do not feel they are equipped to handle. the lack of support we found with our local foster care agency was the main deciding factor in our decision to do a private domestic adoption. we were told of young children who may become available for adoption, but often it was not true they were returned to their biological parents or the situation was wrongly explained to us. we adopted domestically. within a month. there is no shortage of newborn, healthy babies of all races here in the US. often the adoption is easier, no overseas, no foreign laws and regulations and the cost is cheaper. you get a much better medical history, and the chance of or the occurance of a birthparent coming back later to reclaim "their" child is so slim, it's really not a concern, if you go through the proper routes and have a reputable attorney and agency. but each adoption is unique and there is nothing wrong ever with adding a child to your family to love no matter where they were born.

Hannah Leigh

Can we apply this to the war on terror? How 'bout we fix our own government before we go out and try to fix everyone elses?

FrenchieMom

No, I don't think it's unpatriotic. How could giving a child in need--regardless of where he or she is from--be unANYthing?! Personally, I think this is an ethnocentric and myopic view of adoption. Just my two cents. Thumbs down me if you want, folks, but I'm tired of the uber-nationalists. If we spent more time caring about others in the world (instead of, you know, doing things like invading their countries) we'd all be better off.

Also, I'm just curious if the person who asked the question has adopted a U.S. child (or any child, for that matter). Not meaning to offend, either, just very curious.

BPD Wife

My belief is that every child, regardless of nationality, deserves a loving home. That being said, we adopted domestically but that doesn't mean we wouldn't consider international adoption in the future.

I believe that many families believe international adoptions are easier because they are almost "guaranteed" a child. Here in the US, you can spend all of the money to go through the adoption process, get involved emotionally, and then the birth parents can change their minds and you are left with nothing. With adoption from another country, you are almost guaranteed a child as those children are typically already available and in the "system".

I also believe people choose to adopt internationally sometimes to reduce the fear of the birth parents trying to come back and take the child away in the future. By adoption from another country, that fear is almost eliminated.

To answer your original question, though....I do not believe international adoption is unpatriotic. You are bringing a child into the United States and giving them US Citizenship! How more patriotic could it be? To be able to share the freedoms of this great nation with others!

ClassyInCoach

A recent report revealed that Americans give a larger percentage of income per capita to charity than the people of any other nation. Generously sharing your possessions with others is an American value. "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free" is inscribed on the base of the statue of liberty. Taking in needy individuals from foreign countries with open, welcoming arms is an American value. I'd have to say that international adoption is one modern expression of traditional American values. Would anyone here call that unpatriotic?

lovepets

you know how hard and how much you had to wait for a domestic adoption some times for almost for ever
anyway children from Africa are really in need

Bruce T

IMHO, one should try to adopt in the US if possible. But it is hard to find a baby to adopt in the US. Many American single moms nowadays keep the baby-- less social stigma than in years past. Some women have abortions. Many of the kids in the foster system are there temporarily and it's my understanding that the goal is to get them back to the birth mom eventually. I don't know the current status of white couples/moms adopting non-white kids in the U.S. But there has been a lot of controversy in the past. Maybe another respondent can comment.

çµç¸ Heemei

In my sister's case she wants to adopt from China, because we're chinese, she wants a new born, so the baby wouldn't know if it were adopted.

AdoptiveMama

My husband and I have 2 children 9 months, 6 months and 2 years. The 9 month old came last September and we adopted her through an agency in Texas. The other two have been adopted through DSS and the foster care system. My husband and I get asked all the time why we do not go international (we have 1 African American, 1 Native American, and 1 caucasion) and we truely believe the need is so great here in America that we need to keep our focus here. I do say children all over need loveing homes, but I live here and so I feel that we should adopt through the USA!

katbyrd41

I understand your position and I sympathize with it. I also sympathize with people who find the red tape involved in American adoptions just too daunting. And with those who prefer a newborn, free of "issues"--and if a newborn is more readily available overseas, then I understand why they go there. Adoption is one of those things that is simultaneously very happy and very sad to me.

tremonster

I completely agree with you, but as others have stated it is the American government who is at fault. They have to be involved with everything and just end up screwing things up more than they already were.

Trust Me!

DONT DO IT MAY CAUSE YOU MORE HURM THAN GOOD. LAW WISE

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