Is giving up a child painful for everyone or...?

Just those people who didn't -really- want to give up their child?

It can't possibly be painful for EVERYONE everywhere because some people really wouldn't care about their kid. (The fact that there are instances of children dying to neglect is proof of that...)

So for those of you gave up your kid and are now emotionally scarred forever... why did you do it? You obviously didn't really want to if it caused such lasting trauma.
Additional Details
I'm just said I know it isn't painful for people REALLY want to give their kid up. This question was directed towards those who gave up a kid and obviously didn't want to.

And I was hoping to get some answers from the people on here who respond to other people's posts with things such as 'its the worst thing I ever did I still feel pain every day because I gave my child up its the worst thing ever etc. etc.'

kitta

The tone of your discourse reminds me of the Ayn Rand philosophy. Objectivism. Egoism.

Rand personally hated children. Hated them, hated "weakness."
Rand didn't believe in any forced "help" for people. Why should "weak" women be helped. Why should the strong be deprived.

Why should men be held back.

Rand really really liked strong men.

I guess we should all just let people die in the streets.Let them just rot, eh??

Let the maggots take care of it.......an ideal world...

.

Mei-Ling

"The fact that there are instances of children dying to neglect is proof of that..."

Ever researched into why those children end UP in orphanages and GET neglected?

Probably not.

Independ"ant"

"I'm just said I know it isn't painful for people REALLY want to give their kid up."

You don't know anything. Most girls that "really" feel at the moment its best to relinquish later regret it as well as pay for it emotionally and psychologically.

Lori A

Because my family was the problem. Her father was in Vietnam, and there were no programs for women at that time.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

You CAN'T know what you're talking about.

I planned to give my son up from the first moment I knew I was pregnant. Long before I told anyone else. His FOB was also ok with this. BUT do NOT EVER discount the difficulty of actually leaving the hospital without your chld. EVER. I think of him often, know I did what was right and STILL it hurts me. A part of me was lost when I gave him up. That was 22 years ago.

edit: ya it hurts still...I chose it because I am adopted and my life has been wonderful and knew the GOOD side of adoption. Yeah, I chose it for me...but for him too

myst1998

An intelligent converstion is usually held between two parties who are open to learning.

What we have here is someone trying to force an opinion whilst trying to hide that is what they are doing.

You say you know it isn't painful for people who wanted to give their babies up... I say you have no idea what you are talking about. There is a difference between mothers who chose adoption believing it best for their child and deciding they don't want their child. I suggest their are more women in the former category than the latter.

And if you are wanting to learn about adoption coercion then learn and stop trying to dictate to someone what is coercion and what is not because every individual is different and responds to different things in different ways. Add hormones and medication to the mix and you have no idea how coercion can happen. From what you have said you are not open and you need to prove you are if you want any further information or to continue your "intelligent" conversation.

snowwillow20

I was convinced by family that giving her up would be best. I was weak. I didn't know that after awhile I would start to grieve and the grief would last a lifetime. There was no closure until reunion.

gibberish

Sometimes pain is necessary for the well-being of everyone involved.

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