Is it alright for a biological parent to ask for assistance with raising their children?

Indian-vision

In most cases an adoptive parent is well off during the time they adopt,

But only god (I know this will annoy many people) can tell what the future holds for us and only he controls it. So if at any point of time a biological or an adoptive parent needs the States assistance nobody should be judging them and making their life more miserable.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

Ditto Lillie

I will GLADLY give my tax dollars to a mom in need, but I don't want it to go to people that are seperating families for their own pleasure. (excluding Foster Care)

Jennifer L

I think that the government assistance is there to help someone through a tough period in their lives. I have no problem with a young single mother being on assistance while she goes to college. That's what the resources are meant to be used for.

People should not adopt unless they are financially stable to being with, so I don't think people should spend so much on the adoption process that they need assistance to recover.

That said, we can never tell what the future may hold. There are cases of catastrophic illness, lay offs, car accidents and other unforseen difficulties that would take a nominally finacially stable family and send them right to the poverty line with little or no warning. I have no problem with adoptive families using these government resources to get back on their feet after some catastrophic event in the family.

Life can take some sudden turns south. Adoptive families aren't exempt from this.

Tara Rose @-}--

Of course it is all right. That is why those programs are there. Never be ashamed embarrassed. Use those programs to help you and your children lead a better healthier life.
My parents used those programs when we needed them and raised two smart hardworking kids.

tish

i'm sorry, but i thought the whole premise of adoption was because these 'superparents' were perfect, rich and able to give a child the life that his/her poor "birthmother" couldn't. why would they ever need help?

i think if an aparent can't afford their kids, they should place them for adoption so that the kids can have a better life.

see the twisted logic???

Lisa

They're all perfectly acceptable to ask for for anyone if you need the assistance and are working to your utmost potential.

rachael

of course its alright to ask for help. biological or other.

the difference is-are they adopting a child while on or knowingly going to need welfare? or are they in a decent financial state and then hit hard times?

if you are unable to support a child then you should not take them into your home. im not talking about giving them ponies and pools, im talking basic necessities. food, housing, etc....

everyone,everyone, everyone falls on hard times and need help. but to take on more than you can handle, that is a short path to doom

due 20.04.09

at least they are trying there up most to bring the child up rather than giving them up

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

yes.

no.

Lillie

Hmmm.

We take kids from welfare moms to give them a "better life."

Then adopto-mom has to go on welfare too.

Kinda throws that whole "better life" line right out the window, now, doesn't it?

RPMR

If someone truly needs that help and they are really trying to get out of that situation (not just taking advantage of my tax $$$) why not?

sizesmith

I think that anyone who needs TEMPORARY help should be able to apply. For instance, an adoptive parent might need to apply for food stamps if the economy is bad and they've lost their job due to no fault of their own.

I'm an adoptive parent, and not rich by any means. I know that my son's bio parents chose us to adopt because we have worked hard all our lives, have a beautiful home (it's a doublewide mobile-not a 4 story brick), and because emotionally we're stable. They definately didn't choose us because we're rich, because we're definately not!

The difference is, now that the bio parents have had another child, they've split up, the mother is living in a camper, on her ex's place, there's constant emotional turmoil, she's on food stamps, welfare, getting WIC, and every other assistance our tax dollars will pay for. There is no end in sight to her getting help. That's the key difference. There's no end in sight. She will get help until the child reaches 18, and then she'll turn to some other form of assistance.

If she would apply herself, and either get an education, or even if she went to work at McDonalds, I'd be her biggest supporter. The fact is, she won't get off her lazy duff, and expects to have everything handed to her, and because she's board, she picks fights with the baby's dad, and her ex (although it's still legally her husband-how confusing for the child).

Thank God, I don't qualify for help, and have worked hard enough that I have some assets to fall back on. Emotionally, I see her 6 year old, and her new infant both suffering from stomach problems, stress, and I never see them smile.

I see the child of hers that I've adopted and am raising being happy every day, laughing, and the door is open any time she wants to come through it. I helped her during her pregnancy with her daughter. If she'd help herself, I'd be her biggest supporter, and I'd babysit for free, or I'd buy the baby clothes, or help any way I could, however, if she's not going to bother coming to see our (and I mean hers and mine) son, and if she's going to do nothing to help herself, then I pray for her.

On the other hand, since I've worked hard, and tried every which way I can to be self sufficient, to pay every penny extra that I had so I wouldn't have a mortgage, and for some unforseen reason I needed to get temporary help, since I've paid taxes, I wouldn't see a problem with it. The main thing is that the kids should be happy, healthy, and well taken care of. Hers aren't.

monkeykitty83

I think it's usually kind of a different thing. You can't really have a crisis adoption in the same way you can have a crisis pregnancy. It's not that I think that biological parents are inherently more deserving-- it's that adoption is a more intentional choice than pregnancy usually is, and in making that choice, adoptive parents need to be prepared. I don't think it would be appropriate for adoptive parents to request that kind of assistance going into an adoption. When a family starts the adoption process, they need to be completely financially stable.

I actually do have one exception to what I said, though. If a family needs some temporary extra assistance to prevent a relative from going into foster care by providing a kinship placement, and that will allow the child to stay within the extended family, I think a lot more leeway is appropriate in what assistance they're given. They're trying to fix a situation not of their making and keep their family together, rather than entering an adoption situation they previously had nothing to do with. Even so, they should have the ability to become financially stable on their own within a reasonable time frame, or else the adoption or guardianship probably isn't a good idea.

That said, any family-- biological or adoptive-- can have problems and go into crisis mode. Adoptive parents should be as prepared as possible financially, but none of us can see the future. If an adoptive family had serious trouble later, I think it's reasonable for them to ask for the same assistance anyone else would. No family can predict everything that will ever happen to them, and as long as they're trying, I think it's in the best interest of everyone (particularly the child) to give the family what they need.

LaraSue

Yes

Yes

Everyone falls on hard times. Adoptive families too. There is no way to foresee a loss of job, or death of spouse, or health conditions.
Not all adoptive familes are rich babystealers.
Poor adoptive couples, damned if they do and damned if they don't.

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