Is it easy for a pregnant woman to find good adoptive parents for her baby?

Possum

1. a baby is not a gift to give away.
2. no one knows if they'll be a good mother - we all just give it a go - and most are perfectly fine for the children we produce.
3. there are NO guarentees in adoption.
4. your child wants to grow with you.
5. children need to grow around those that look, act and have talents the same - it's better for emotional and psych well being - growing up around a family of strangers can be really hard going.
6. make sure you read this - by women that thought they weren't good enough to be the mother of their children - and they have suffered great loss every since -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf
7. don't make any decisions until well after your baby is born - you need time to work out that your are capable of parenting - and making decisions during such an intensive hormonal time - is crazy stuff.

I wish you and your baby all the best in the world.
I had a good life (I know many adoptees that lived in abusive homes) - but I missed growing in the family that I was meant to grow in - the family that has the same genetic ties.

dancuer4lrhs

I want you to know, that I just placed my son for adoption 7 weeks ago, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. The family who adopted him is wonderful, but I realized that no one is better for a child than the childs real family. I sit and stare at pictures of him and wonder what he is doing and if he is okay. I would give up everything I own to have him back here with me, but there is nothing I can do! I can almost guarentee you that you will regret it. I will never be the same person again.

DevonChaos

There are good parents out there, but its hard to know for sure. You never know what happens behind closed doors, and even if you trust someone to care for the baby, there is no guarantee that in the future they are going to be great parents.
You can be a great mother. You are the one your baby needs.
Also, to the sick people who are going to try to get you to give them your baby... You are a sad excuse for a human to prey on girls here. You need to stop. Just STOP.

grapesgum

No, it is not easy. Adoption is a business and pregnant women are lied to coerced to give their babies to the people who have the most cash to put on the table. Qualifications to be good parents are have nothing to do with adoption.

Please let me rephrase and answer your question - "Is is easy for a pregnant woman to find a good parent for her baby?"

Just look into the mirror and say, "Yes, I am the best mom for MY child."

myst1998

Okay first, please start to see your baby as a person not an 'it'.

Why do you feel you wouldn't make a good mother? All mothers natural, foster and adoptive feel the same way. It isn't an automatic thing you know, everyone makes mistakes and learn from them as they go (not including things such as drugs, alcohol abuse etc, these are problems, not mistakes).

If you are going to relinquish your child for adoption, please do some research into adoption first; read blogs from women who have lost children through adoption, books on what it is like for the adopted person etc. You need to be well informed before you make a decision that will affect you and this child for the rest of your lives.

While you are pregnant, I would suggest you focus on this baby and staying healthy for the both of you. Once the baby is born, then look into adoption if you still feel you want to go through with it. Adoption is a permanent thing and it is about loss for you and your baby.

Some books for you to read:

Secret life of the Unborn child by Thomas Verny
Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier

Websites:
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1
http://www.exiledmothers.com/index.html
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/
http://mystere1998.blogspot.com/

All the best.

Gaia Raain

It depends on your definition of "good". No one on this earth can replace you. You are this child's ONLY mother, and you are the only person with whom this child has that natural bond that comes from pregnancy. You are the only person this child will expect when s/he is born, and you are the only person who will be able to fulfill his/her need for his/her natural mother. No adoptive parent can EVER take your place, or be what your child is programmed to expect.

However, there are adoptive parents who are wonderful people, and who would be great parents. There are those who understand the tremendous loss a child experiences when they are separated from their natural parents, and who can be sensitive to that fact when raising the child. Infertility is NOT an indicator of whether or not a person is going to be a "good" adoptive parent. People who have suffered infertility have suffered a tremendous loss themselves, and if they have not gotten in touch with their grief, they run the risk of placing a huge load of expectations on the child - and a child who has lost so much already is not equipped to bear that burden.

There ARE infertile couples who make wonderful adoptive parents. Infertility alone is not a good determining factor in how well equipped someone is to parent an adopted child, though.

This is a tough decision, and I don't envy you. I hope, for your baby's sake, that you will decide to parent. Your baby needs you.

Crucio

Yes there are good adoptive parents out there however there are also bad adoptive parents. Just like there are good natural parents and bad natural parents. You could turn out to be a real great mother or you could turn out to not be a good mother. Nothing is guarantee as is the case with everything in life.

Laura

no.

ÑÎ±Ï‰Ñ

don't just it up

keep it

you will give birth and it is hard work

and pulse you could always get halp from your friends about parenting

David S

You will get alot of rude comments about this...sorry.

Congrats to you for caring enough for your child that you haven't had an abortion.

Many adoption agencies are affiliated with a particular religion. I am not saying all people that go to church are good...but there are many good people that attend churches. Perhaps choose an adoption agency related to your religion.

We had to submit a comprehensive profile to our agency with everything about us. We also provided letters of reference to the agency. The agency showed our packet to the birth mother. She chose us and allowed us to adopt her child. The birth mother was very much at peace with her decision on the final day. We truly admire the birth mother and our daughter will always know she was adopted and that her birth mother loved her very much.

Going forward, I expect to have a good relationship with the birth mother. She will not be in our daily lives but we will send pictures a couple of times a year.

I highly reommend childplace in southern Indiana for an adoption agency if you choose to go that route.

cassbow35

if you do decide to adopt then there are alot of parents like me that cant have children i had a ruptured ectopic pregnancy with twins now i can never have a baby and i want a baby more than anything my husband an i have been to geter for 7 years and are a happy stable couple and all we want is a baby

yeahright

I give you two thumbs up that you are taking stock and personal inventory of this situation.

There are some folks that only look at things from their personal view point which may be valid for them. I am finding that thoughtful constructive answers from certain people here will never be part of their experience. But, it does give you a 360 view you might not have thought through which is valuable by itself, right? Ignore the haters. They don't know you or the horse you rode in on and are seeking their own answers too.

Yes there are great AP out there--this is your and the BF choice one way or the other. Make sure you do your due diligence and know what you want as far as a adoption plan if you decide to adopt. If you decide to keep and parent, educate yourself and make sure you have an excellent support network for the long view. There are resources and parenting classes but you have to make an effort.

Angela B

Yes there are good people out there. The adoption agency or social worker will help you find the right one. Trust me you have to go through an extenstive background check to adopt and reference checks, etc. Just tell the workers what you want a childless couple who lives in ... loves horses and outdoors etc or what you want your child to grow up in. Some mothers want their childern to grow up with siblings and chose AP families who already have kids. Sounds like you know what you want good luck in your journey in whatever way you may decide to go.

karcnr

I think it is very unselfish of you to put the needs of your baby ahead of your own. Such a choice is to be respected.

Yes there are several adoption agencies you can work with that let you choose the adoptive parents. You can meet with them and have continued contact if you wish after the baby is born. I wish you all the best in making such a difficult decision. The one agency I have worked with is LDS Family Services and they have offices all over the US, so they'll have someone in your area that can come out and meet with you. There is counseling available all at no cost to you. Best of luck and I'll be praying for you.

BLW_KAM

Yes, there are. But the trick is finding them. If you decide to place the baby for adoption, find the most reputable agency in your area and ask them a lot of questions about how they screen and approve couples (singles). If they don't have an extensive pre-adoption approval process for those looking to adopt, move on.

If you find a good agency, ask to look at the waiting couples (singles) bios on file. If someone looks interesting, ask to meet them. Ask them all the questions you can think of and use your judgment to determine if they are good people.

Then go home and think about what the others have posted here. Look ahead in time and ask yourself how you'll feel when your child calls someone else "Mommy".

April W

There are definitely good people waiting to adopt. I know of two couples personally that can't have children and want to adopt, but are looking at spending thousands of dollars in order to try adopting, but were already warned that there's a waiting list for prospective adoptive parents.

I would say it's never easy, but there are a lot of good people out there waiting to adopt. Should you decide to give the baby up be sure to go through an agency, they will help you every step of the way.

allchildrenareangels

my husband and I are hoping to adopt. It is very easy to find loving families hoping to adopt.

Love,
Michelle

Jessa ~Noah Blaine due 7.19.2009

There are TONS of couples out there who would just love to adopt your baby. You can look it up on the internet, just type in (adoptive parents near *your town*) or go to a local adoption agency and talk to them about it. Good luck.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: