Is it ever too late to consider adoption?

Mom2-3boys

It is never too late. Yes, it would definatey effect your daughter. I think it would also effect you and you would regret it. I think probably your hormones are getting the better of you. You are probably feeling nervous and aprehensive. Your new baby will blend into your family just fine. Your children will grow up loving each other and you have enough love for both of them. It's ok to feel the way you do, but don't let it overwhelm you. If it makes you feel better, keep it in the back of your head as an option, but know that you CAN do this and you will love this baby just as much as your first.

DevonChaos

I have 5 kids, and it is stressful, but I know I couldn't live with myself if I had given one of them up. Your daughter will be effected by this. As will the child who was given up. I've had to move home with my parents and pay rent with my first 2 children, but it was worth it to keep my family together.

It is never too late to consider adoption, but it will be too late once you sign that baby over to someone else. You can do it, you can be a great mother to both children. You have people out there to help support you.

monkeykitty83

Actually, since you're still pregnant, it's too early for adoption. You can't legally terminate your parental rights till after the baby is born.

What you're doing is really a better idea than trying to find prospective adoptive parents before the birth. If you aren't sure about adoption (which is a permanent and life-changing decision,) it's better to take your baby home and try parenting. If it really doesn't work out and you can't handle it, there is no limit to how long you have to decide to place for adoption.

The decision to parent your baby can be undone if you regret it (regretting it is pretty rare.) If you place your baby for adoption, you have no way to change your mind if you have regrets (and that's something a lot of people end up regretting.)

Placing your baby for adoption would have a major, painful effect on you, on your child, and on the rest of your family... probably for the rest of your lives. It's not a decision to be made quickly or lightly. I think it's a good idea to at least try parenting your baby. Adoption should be a last resort, and I think you're doing the right thing by waiting till after the birth to consider it.

I think once the baby is born, you'll find you can handle this after all. I doubt you'll regret keeping your child.

kitta

You are entitled to child support from the father. That is a federal law. What is wrong with this "man" that he doesn't seem to value girls..

Yes, your other child will be affected if you have this baby adopted.

I am glad your parents are able to help. Children need their families, not a lot of rich stuff.

christina w

it is just ur horomones ur little girl will be so sad it will be so sad for u too wondering what happened to ur baby so do ask for help from ur family and ur doc everything will work out in the end please keep ur baby ((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))

Sophie

I don't think it's ever too late for anyone to be adopted... but it could be too late to change your mind once the paperwork is signed and finalized.

tish_part deux

i wish you a eventless labor and delivery; and a healthy baby.

now, to your question. several of your own words answered your question. for instance:
______________________________________...

"but i don't wanna loose my baby"
"i do have a 3 year old who's exited about the baby, and my family as well"
"My dad isn't exactly a touchy emo kinda guy, but he does love his grand babies"
"
-you might wish to reconsider.

--------------------------------------...
"I feel really trapped and scared,"
"I'm also really worried about being stressed out all the time with a rampant toddler and a newborn baby."

-so do most! parenthood is STRESSFUL regardless of the situation.
--------------------------------------...
"the father was involved up until we found out it was a girl."
"Now that he's being a total deadbeat, and I don't think he's gonna be around."

-screw him...and take him to court for child support.

--------------------------------------...
"I'm afraid of doing it by myself"
"I wasn't gonna be a single mom again."

-many women were scared and made it through with giving up their children. and there is no guarantee that an adoptive mom will be married forever, or any more prepared to be a parent then you are.

methinks you need to take adoption off the table and make a few calls to get some parenting support. adoption is forever. your situation, is not.

regards

Possum

Adoption is a long term solution to an often short term problem.
You and your babies and your family will never get over the loss of losing a child to adoption.
Fact.
Make sure you read this -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf

You can be a great mum - you already are.
Keep your babies together - where they belong - both with you.
I wish you all the best.

Merry

I dont' have the answer for you but I just said a little prayer for you and your family.

cmc

It is not too late, even after the baby is born. You need to decide what is right for you and your family. I think you might want to talk to a social worker or someone about how to address it with your daughter. It will effect your daughter in any case - either she'll have a sibling, which is a big effect. Also if you're not prepared to parent another that will effect both kids. And if you place for adoption it will effect both of you too. I'm not saying one is better than the other, only that they all will have an effect on your family, and I can't say what it will be. I hope you find the right solution for your situation.

I'm an adoptive mom to a 3 yr old. My daughter's natural mom also has a girl 20 mo older than my daughter.

goldeneyes504

I am a social worker in adoption and foster care and no it is not too late. You can make that decision even after the baby is born. You can even inform that hospital that you will not be leaving with the baby and there would be nothing illegal about it. However, you should know that it will definitely affect your daughter. It will also affect your family a great deal too. Most of all, it will affect you and your unborn child (later on in their life). Maybe you should consider an open adoption in which you are still in contact with your child and can even schedule visits throughout the child's life. These things have a much bigger affect on everyone involved than most people anticipate. Please consider this very carefully and look into what community resource you can utilize to ease some of your fear as a mother before making such a heavy and destiny changing choice.

livin life

You dont mention a daddy and how he feels, so I will assume u are unmarried and alone. If its going to be a real burden raising 2 kids and have to depend on your folks, and public financial assistance, then I would suggest to give her up to a couple that wants a child.
If this is something u can do financially and responsibly, and feel u will love this child, then keep her.
I dont believe it will too much of a problem with your 3 year old, just explain that the baby went to her new mommy and daddy and u just carried that baby for them.

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