Is it harder to adopt a teenager than it is a baby?

HappyMomAnna

It's Harder to find babies that need to be adopted...

It's harder to adopt a teen or older child because it's a little bit like a marriage given everyone has a past and is who they are based on their lives... So for the parents it means you meet your child walking, talking and with whatever baggage they have collected along the way.

It's Easier for Parents TO adopt an older child because sadly not as many parents seem willing to take the time to build a relationship rather then "have" a child. As long as the parents are qualified it's not difficult to adopt a teen...but does take some steps.

doobster

no easier there is an abundance of them

Serenity

I wouldn't think it would be harder. From what I have seen, teenagers are harder to adopt out because most people are looking for babies so they can raise them the way they want. If a teenager is adopted, he is a third into his life and should not be that hard to communicate with etc..

Prego With # 2 :)

harder for a baby, more people want a baby then a teenager, its vary sad!

avas momma

its harder to adopt a baby....and...more expensive...there are so many older children and teens that have been thru the systems....that need a family and home....

monkeykitty83

In terms of procedure and cost, it's far easier to adopt a teenager. The wait time will be shorter, you'll finalize faster, and the cost will be either nothing or a few basic fees, not the tens of thousands it takes to adopt an infant from a private agency.

In terms of the experience... it depends on what you consider hard or easy.

Teenagers are able to decide whether or not to be adopted, so a teen you adopted would actually have a stake in what happens too, unlike a baby, who obviously won't have any commitment to the adoption.

However, a teenager may be more used to be being parented a different way (fewer rules, fewer expectations, etc.) so settling into the household expectations may be more challenging than for an infant, since for infants there aren't many wildly different parenting styles.

A teenager may demonstrate insecurities or abandonment fears by acting out, while an infant may just withdraw or cry. Anyone who adopts a child old enough to actually make behavioural decisions of his or her own should expect some acting out once the honeymoon period is over-- this is normal, and you just have to ride it out with consistent love and gentle correction of the behaviours.

A teenager can verbalize feelings, while a baby cannot. This often makes it easier for a teen to take immediate benefit from therapy and family discussions, and may make it easier to prevent an emotional crisis before it happens in a teen, in a way you couldn't for someone who experienced adoption at a pre-verbal level as an infant.

While a teen may have scary diagnostic labels and a baby may not, that doesn't mean the baby will necessarily have fewer behavioural and emotional issues growing up. With the teen, you'll have a good idea of what they were like in previous foster homes, so it won't be a surprise. With a baby, special needs can be harder to predict. So while a teen may look worse on paper, you're actually going to be MORE likely to find a match where you can handle any special needs, since those needs are already known. Any issues a baby may have later on will be more of a surprise, and generally not in a good way.

Teens don't need to be diapered, burped, be fed at three in the morning, etc. There's more "fun" stuff you can do with them in terms of activities. You can actually have a conversation with a teenager.

So... it depends on the person. For me personally, I think I'm more suited to adopt an older child (someday a teen, but I'll want to be older and more experienced at parenting myself before I do that.) For others, a baby might be easier. I would just say that an older child or teen WANTING to be adopted, as opposed to a baby having no say, can make a huge difference in your relationship; it won't make everything perfect, but it means you're working together to make the situation succeed, not working at cross purposes or unable to verbalize a common goal.

LovetheLORDfirst

The process is much, much easier. The cost is nill. Many states even offer a monthly stipend for adopting a teenager until they turn 18, along with a full state college scholarship, just because they are so desperate for families!

Believe it or not, studies also show that older children who are adopted are much more likely to bond with their adopted parents. Babies and small children who are adopted take a lot longer to attach to their APs!

People will tell you that older children/ teens have way too much emotional baggage. While this is true of some of them, it is certainly not true of all of them, and you have the chance to figure this all out first.

Try Associated Catholic Charities no matter what your religion is. They are much better tow ork with than the state or other agencies.

Crucio

I will assume you are referring to adopting a baby or teenager from the foster care system. I would assume that the process for either would be virtual similar. Now a teenager is likely to have more issues then a younger child even more if they have been in the system a while, and it can also have to do with how and why they ended up in the system in the first place. I would think with all the older children/teenager in the system that someone specifically looking to adopt one of those kids they might get a placement much sooner since those kids are an abundance and everyone wants the little kids so as soon as they are available most times they will get adopted.

etcetera86

Harder as in, more difficult to actually adopt or harder as in, more difficult transition and settling. If you mean harder to adopt, I don't think so, there are many many more older children up for adoption than infants and birth mothers of older kids are less likely to change their minds. If you mean a rougher transition for you and the child, I would imagine yes. An older kid that has already been through the system will probably have a lot of emotional baggage they need to work through and a first time parent jumping in when a kid is closer to an adult is going to have a rude awakening because a teen can talk back, and think for themselves.

Snickette

No! Lots of people want to adopt babies, while there aren't actually that many baby's placed for adoption so there are more potential adoptive parents than there are infants.
But most people are reluctant to adopt teens when in fact there are many teens in foster care waiting for an adoptive family and a stable home.

I have 3 adopted children, all from foster care and our younger 2 were with us from birth. Our eldest adopted child was with us from just before 2. However once we're a little older we will begin fostering (and possibly adopting) teenagers.

kristysearching

Kudos to people who look beyond infants and answer a huge need in our country. There are so many teens in Foster Care who need love. Yes it is an emotional Roller coaster but wow!

Carly 2

i think it would be harder to adopt a teenager. I mean they go through their life thinking "Why did my parents not want me? why is nobody trying to get to know me? Why haven't i found a home?" Simple things like that. They are very emotional and tend to act out. Now i'm not saying ALL do, but if i was in their shoes, i probably would.

â˜® Converse Love â˜®

It is harder to adopt a baby, because of the moneyy.
although, if you adopt a baby then the child will grow up only knowing you as the parents.
The teenager wouldn't be easy because they would know that your not the parent and they will more than likely put that in your face.

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