Is it possible to grow up adopted and have a "sense of well being"?

BOTZ

Honestly, I don't know if adopted CHILDREN (emphasis added) can have a sense of well-being. Maybe they can. I did have MOMENTS when I briefly felt well, happy, secure, etc. But I definitely never had an overall, enduring sense of well-being. That is still true today. I don't have an overall or enduring sense of well-being.

I DO, however, believe that ADULT adoptees can have a sense of well-being. I don't but there are those I know that say they do -- and I believe them.

cantstopLinnyG

I guess it depends on your interpretation of the term "well-being".

I did not. I had an adoptive family who loved me, but I still felt unlovable. I felt empty and as if there was something missing. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was not a happy baby or child, and was terrified if my a parents left for more than a few hours. I had recurring dreams of being kidnapped, or of being lost. I still do.

For my case, no. I did not have a sense of well-being. Im somewhat better now that I am an adult and realize these issues are because of my relinquishment and subsequent adoption. I still am very guarded with any new relationships and Im afraid to get too close, for fear they will leave.

I dont feel sorry for myself, though, nor do I ask for anyone's pity, as some people here like to accuse me of doing. Its something that happened to me, and my reactions are pretty typical of an adoptee.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/well-being

Laurel J

I don't have much of one. I have my happy little flashes, but my baseline is a feeling of vigilance, as if something bad is always about to happen.

I can only speak for myself. I hope every adoptee doesn't walk around feeling this way most of the time.

This has nothing to do with feeling loved or being raised well. I always knew I was loved, and my a'parents raised me as their own.

kateiskate

I think it is possible if the adoptive parents are ideal adoptive parents and do their best to ensure that the child is allowed to freely express his loss and the lines of communication about it are always open.

Jennifer L

There are quite a few adult adoptees that post here often, saying that they've always felt secure and comfortable with growing up adopted. It wouldn't be too much conjecture to call it a "sense of well being".

I believe their truths, too.

So yes, I think it's possible.

Kazi

Well I suppose only the individuals themselves can answer that question, however, a sense of wellbeing is certainly not the sole province of adoptees. Every single person on the planet has gone through something. Everyone has a story. Some like who they are. Some do not. That is a choice.

Rowan

I truly believe so. It depends on the situation. I always felt secure in my family. I thought i was invunerable to all lifes problems. I felt like i was were i was supposed to be.

i miss childhood.

Independ"ant"

Yes.

It would however take an effort of the part of the Aps.

Open and encouraged relationships with natural parents/family and country of origin.

I can't see anything being accomplished unless the Aps become part of the culture of the adoptees family of origin as if it were second nature.

Honesty is even hard for some Aps because they don't even know the truth.

IDK!!

Many PEOPLE know say they never felt secure, even as children..... I don't think i know ANYONE who is completely at peace with their lives.

If you think about it.....no matter the reason for the adoption, it's going to be painful somehow.

Melody M

absolutely, as long as there are no secrets,or lies between adopted parents and child. i beleive that a sence of well being comes from loving caring parents. To live in an environment where you know you are loved, no if ands about it. to give your child confidense in themselves. and actually there are children who have no sense of well being who are not adopted also...

Hilary S

I know for I have an amazing adoptive family. I love them very much, but at the same time I have never felt like a belong, like there is something missing.

Most adopted people I have talked with and are friends with have said the same thing. So I would have to say the answer is yes. Its like we're searching for something that may never be found and try and fill that missing piece with something or even someone. In the long run that doesn't help at all it just ends up making it all worse.

This world is so vast and so amazing that you want to take it all in but in the long run none of that ends up mattering if you don't feel like you have a place in it.

Shelly P. Tofu, E.M.T.

Yes. It's possible.

Most adopted people will probably have some issues dealing with their adoption.. but I'm sure there are many who felt loved, secure, and felt like they had a happy childhood.

Question G

My best friend is adopted and agnostic, and she says she's pretty happy and secure. She's one of the smartest and most well-rounded people I've ever met. She has fewer emotional problems than I do, so I'm gonna say the answer is yes, and it has nothing to do with god, either.

Need2knowbasis

Sure, I adopted a child, raised him with my kids and he turned out fine...I think it's according to if you treat them like outcast...........I treat ALL my children alike, weather I gave birth or not, they are still my babies!

Rabbit383

my best friend is adopted and a Christian. your own senes of well being comes from a source greater than yourself. he has NEVER felt less than loved and very well raised. told me so himself.

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