Is it self fish for me to think we should stop reproducing for now?

Tink077

I don't understand why so many people got so angry over this question. She wasn't implying that there should be any time of law against people having kids, or that someone else should have control over you having children, she was just referring to herself personally.
I guess you should have asked this in a different forum instead of one with a bunch of new parents in it that are far more likely to take personal offense to your question.

Anyway, I don't think it's selfish. But, I've been told that it's selfish for me to not want to have kids at all or that it makes me a terrible woman, which is equally ridiculous. If you think it would be better to adopt than to have a kid then do that. Don't worry if other people think you're being selfish. It's not a decision you make to please other people, it's one you make because you want to.

Then again, I also don't agree with the person that is implying that all moms that give up their child to adoption were forced to do so. Assuming that they just needed a little support and their life would be fine and dandy is absurd. It's assuming that all those babies would have been in GREAT homes had they stayed. And to dismiss infertile parents that adopt infants as buying babies is basically saying you're better than them because you could have your baby naturally. That's selfish and self centered if I've ever heard it.

H******

Perhaps your view would stand if it was actually the kids who need homes that people were adopting.

It's not. They pay big money for facilitators to market them to vulnerable groups to procure a BABY for them, the paying customers. It's a multi-billion dollar industry and largely unregulated.

So no. Not selfish, just a little misguided

Pip

Yes a bit but you're entitled to your opinion and if everybody stopped reproducing the human race would die out. Sorry I'm sure you didn't mean the question to come across like that.

The point is if people are adopting to provide a loving, stable home for abused kids (as an example) then I don't have a problem with it. What I have a problem with is people adopting just because they can and they want to adopt rather than looking at the bigger picture of whether the child should be adopted. Too many babies are being adopted because mothers aren't getting the support they need to raise their child.

DevonChaos

Selfish? To make others bow to your whim? Sure.

I have the right to have as many kids as I want. Its just the way it is here. I will never adopt because I was adopted. The children who need adoption are in foster care. The infants who are up for adoption from agencies would likely be better off with their own families and some outside support.

And thanks for not being "completely" against me giving birth to my own baby. That means so much! Ick.

Karlyna

No, not selfish... just unrealistic. If you want that kind of policy, move to China or something.

Serenity71

Its more naive that anything else to say that. Not everyone can raise a child that's not of their own DNA, some people are to closed minded to look beyond it and to force them to do it I feel is bade for the kids and for them. (If it it became some kind of law, more like something Hollywood would make a sci-fi movie about.)

aloha.girl59

Kids in foster care need homes. Newborns generally don't.

Thanks for not being "against" others having their own children. How generous of you!

Here's what I think: you adopt a child (or two, or three, or...) from foster care. Do what YOU can to make a difference in terms of children needing a home and leave your thoughts and ideas out of other people's uteri. What others do with their reproductive lives is none of your business, 'kay?

Sunny

Heather's spot on.

The children who need adopting are foster care kids--not infants.

Women who produce infants usually just need some support to keep their children instead of being pressured to surrender thier babies to infertile adopters with fat checks to purchase them.

Children belong with their own mothers.

Marnie B

It's not any more selfish than having a child by birth, as long as you do it for the right reasons, like that you want to be a parent & have the resources to support a family. It is selfish to keep having kids that you can't support so the taxpayers have to support them.

Its a personal choice. If that is what you think then that is what you think

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