Is it wrong to be sorry about the past?

tinamarie8296

I gave my son up 12 years ago and I talk to my ex all the time. He has gotten married (to the girl he cheated on me with) and had 2 other children and also has never had anything to do with our son. We have a semi open adoption and get pictures and letters. I am still single. My ex is going through a divorce now and we have talked about what happened with us and he shared with me that he would have liked to have letters and pictures but his wife would not let him be involved. I had no idea. While my son is not part of my daily life he is always part of who i am and while it has been hard i have never regretted what I did. He has a wonderful life and family that I never could have given him. You will never forget but need to remember why you did what you did for both your son and the people who now have the chance to have something they never could have had without your gift.

kitta

If you have an open adoption, do all you can to keep it open. Be respectful and cooperate with the adoptive parents.

If not an open adoption,, then someday plan for the time when you will have contact with your son.

Don't try to forget. that is impossible, and no mother should forget her child.

Skylar

My mom gave up my older sister to keep her away from her psychopathic father. If she wouldn't have been given up she would have been dead. And now nearly 21 years later we have gotten in contact with her and she is a big part of my family. She has no animosity towards my mom for what was done. So don't feel bad, maybe one day you will be in contact with him again.

Lori A

Amazing how 2 years later you are still affected by your decision. According to agency brochures you should be well on your way to forgetting all about it by now, and moving on nicely with your life. Funny how that just doesn't seem to be happening for you isn't it.

I wonder what went wrong? Could it be that they lied about it being no big deal? Maybe that there IS a connection between mothers and children? Or that it is simply impossible to forget something that life changing?

I'm sorry you are having a rough time with this. I understand completely, and regret to inform you that there is nothing to make it go away. It subsides for a while, but always comes back to the surface where it eats at you like a cancer. Try to tell yourself that one day you will see your child again, and hold on to that hope. It's really all you have.

kateiskate

No! You have a reason to be upset! You surrendered your son and that is a huge and devastating loss for you and your son.

I agree with the other posters. If you have an open adoption, try to be as open and there for your son as you can. If your adoption was closed, unfortunately you may not be able to get in touch with him until he's 18.

bananarama

well if it was an open adoption then keep in contact with him. You cannot control his father or how he choses to deal with this. You cannot force him to have contact or anything.

truckdrivergirl

Talk to your son. Let him know how you feel. You will never know unless you try. It's better to try and fail than never try at all. Be honest with the whole situation to, for both you and him. Everybody loves their mammas, no matter what...

â˜…â€¢.â€¢`Kai's Mumma`â€¢.â€¢â˜…

No, that is your son!!
Contact him, tell him, hug him, kiss him.
It will mean the world to him.

Tarasita

Forgetting is never the answer. Don't worry about his Dad, it is your decisions you have to live with. Do what is best for your son.

MOMMY TO AN [[ANGEL]] IN HEAVEN

If your thinking about it, it's in your head for a reason, try to figure everything out. God put the thoughts there for some reason or another... try working everything out!

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