Is that evil of us?

Jessica Rabbit

Yes it is!!!!! YOu shouldnt force people to get married. If your son doesnt adopt then so be it, there are more important things in life. Dont use a Chinese girl just to marry your son, this girl has feelings too.

Leave him alone and let him make his own decisions in life. He may be your son but you dont own him

pinkprincess_hayels

Yes because it will be his cousin and that's just weird! And what if they're not attracted to each other in that way? I don't know where you got these statistics from but they sound like bull! If you bring him up to be a good person, why shouldn't he get married? I don't know if it's the way you put it but you make it sound like your sister is going to China specifically to get you a daughter in law. It's just sick.

Ellie F

It's very strange and twisted. Let nature run its course please!

He will get married if it's right for him when he is old enough!

mdmrun

Doesn't that make you her aunt? Blood doesn't make a family, just because they are adopted doesnt mean they are not related.

sixmillionways

You abdicate you son marrying his cousin? Don't you see anything wrong with that?

anonymouse

It's not evil or awful, but is certainly not ethical. Unless your sister *wants* a daughter, she should not adopt. Adoption should not be the purchase of a future bride.

Also, what happens if the adopted girl finds a boyfriend? Will she be denied a boyfriend of her own choice? Will you deny your son a girlfriend if he finds one? I think forcing two individuals into marriage is not quite ethical.

You son will find his mate... he is so young, put him in a good school, make sure he is well adjusted in society (not just Asian society but American multicultural society) and make sure he is a *good* kid who grows up into a good, mature, productive adult. How can he not find a mate then?

BTW, do the stats tell you whether the chance is lower for boys who grew up in Asia and then came over or is it for all Asians? Stats are not always clear...

ladybmw1218

Would have to see those statistics, because it sounds like BS. And yes, adopting a child for the sole purpose of marriage later is morally repulsive to me.

sapsucka

why don't she buy a brain while shes out there

mysterious woman

yep. you are so wrong. Let him choose his wife, you can't go out and buy one you know................if you adopt it should be for the right reasons........don't do a celebrity on us...........but i don't beleive you anyway

Pirate Vs Ninja

I'm sure someone out in this cruel world will love him, you shouldn't practically arrange his marriage for him.

Anne M

I wouldn't say "evil" or "awful," but it is a little strange. Why don't you have more faith that your son will be able to make his own way and find his own wife? There are a lot of women in the world and I haven't heard anything about Asian guys having trouble finding them.

Beyond that, I hope your sister has more motivation to raise a child than just to help you arrange a marriage in 10 or 15 years, because the chances of the two of them hooking up are nil. Think about it.....This child will be your child's cousin and they'll grow up thinking of each other as relatives. When it comes time to date and get married, they each may be the LAST person the other would consider, not the first. Also, if they have the idea that the two moms set this up somehow, that will turn them off even more!

Race is important, but it's not the only factor in life. Your son's going to be his own person with his own personality and he'll want his own chance to make his way in the world, with the knowledge that you support him and trust him to make a success of it. He'll be growing up American and he'll want to do things the American way, and last I heard we don't really believe in arranged marriages here.

I admire your desire to go to bat for your son's future, but my advice would be, stop trying to control everything! Just love your son and raise him and trust him to do the rest. As for your sister, make sure she's ready and willing to raise a child with no promises or strings attached, because if she's not, and it doesn't work out the way she wants, she'll blame YOU.

twistedshower

I don't even know where to start with this one! If I were you I would take a good hard long look in the mirror and figure out where it all started going wrong! Oh and while you're at it why dont you try to plan the rest of your family and friends' lives?! NOT!

Heather

Yes it is. Its like in the old days when marriages where arranged.

Pony dude's girl

very weird

m&m

i thank that it is sick and odd.it is just a statically. it is not caved in stone. you are being very silly and your sis is just plan mean to bring some one into her heart and family to marry your son. how old is he? how do you know that he will want to get married?he may even turn to out be gay

I'm confused by your 'statistic.' I know plenty of married asian-american men, my husband is one of them. I hope you have the patience and open mind to support your son's choice in partners if and when he is ready to marry. I hope that your sister has other reasons for adopting from China besides arranging a marriage for her nephew. I also hope that you welcome your new niece into the family without expecting her to fall for your son.

PS - In most states, it's illegal for cousins to marry. Once an adoption is final, the law recognizes them as cousins.

princess_dnb

You are hoping your son will marry his COUSIN??? I know she will have been adopted, so there isn't an actual blood relation, but they will STILL have grown up as COUSINS. Do you know what kind of damage that can do to someone? Do you know what that will make them look like to the outside world? I would also like to know where these statistics are coming from that you are citing because every Asian guy that I know of in this country IS married.

izzy

that is horrible

blkmiss

Why don't asian guys have a chance at getting married? Perhaps if you're thinking of guys like that VA shooter guy then no he won't get married and for good reason.

It's really sad to hear people's ignorant ideas about adoption and race. I sincerely hope you don't have an adopted asian son.

neverwhere11

I'm not sure of the legality I mean technically they'd be cousins. It does seem a little disturbed, not to mention the Chinese have their own problem with male to female ratios so your just hurting someone else's chance.

Mary B

If that is the only reason to adopt yes it is evil, Children need a loving home were they are allowed to be happy. What if they grow up and hate each other will your sister still love the child? Do you think it is okay to do this to someone? It sounds like you already know the answer.

Pregnant with Baby #2

Why can't asian guys get married? I think that race doesn't matter when it comes to things like that. I don't think it's evil. You are looking out for your sons interests. But, even if it doesn't work out with his adopted cousin, I'm sure he will have lots of girlfriends, despite the fact he's Asian. Be proud of your son. I'm sure he's handsome enough to when the heart of many females.

tommi_ghurl_2006

Nope, its not evil at all, i think its cute but why dont you just let nature take its course, he'll get married when hes old enough. I've got friends who are asian and it wasnt hard for them to get married. Good Luck!

pegasis

some coutries bethrothe but this is not a typical practice in US. I dont know were you get your data from but Asian guys are not always single. Many of them by choice do not marry. I have a few Asian guy friends that choose to be single.

20+ years and still in-love!

Wierd.....Don't put that kind of stigma on your son! I know many many asian boys that are fairing just fine in the American dating world. Statistics show a lot of things and if you live by them you better be doing more than flying to china for your future daughter in law.

Still Me

Your son is an individual, not a statistic! I am more concerned about your attitude as his mother, than I am about his not finding an Asian woman to marry.

Look at it this way, if you're lucky, maybe he'll be gay!

Yahoo! Administrator

THAT'S HORRIBLE!

mystigirl976

I've never heard of such a statistic.... Nature will have to run it's course - obviously. If they grow up together and fall in love, great - but don't push them together or they will resent each other.

BTW - your sister is adopting and you want YOUR son to have a chance with HER daughter? That's twisted - you're teaching him to keep it in the family or something crazy like that. Think of the moral involved in that....it's kind of weird, to say the least. :(

ellen s

It may not be awful, but he would be marring his cousin. thats gross. And many Asians are married in the US

iwill

you mean marry an asian girl. thats a little too close to incest for me. once the adoption is done you will be the little girls aunt.

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