Is their any difference in attitude towards adoption.....?

Gaia Raain II

It really seems like there is a huge difference. I see so many people who would normally condemn the idea of adoption for a couple who only thinks about "mememememe, what I want, what I think, it's all about MEEEE"...but if they talk about adopting through foster care, everyone's hunky dory with it. I'm kind of on the opposite side of the fence. I think foster kids deserve BETTER parents. They've already been through so much, they deserve people who have put time, effort, and energy into learning what it's like from behind their eyes.

There are SO MANY people adopting through foster care these days. Granted, the vast majority are not interested in adopting older kids, and this is a problem, but for the most part, people assume that foster kids languish in the system no matter their age. We have been waiting for TWO YEARS! This is NOT an uncommon occurrence! I've heard from many people who were ONLY interested in adopting older kids who waited longer than we have. My point is, these kids don't need to be any more grateful for having a loving home than any other kid. Chances are pretty darn good that they would have had a warm, loving home whether they ended up in the one they're in or not. Just because they started off as foster kids does not make them automatically trash that someone is so kind and loving to have "taken in".

Blech. Sorry, on a bit of a rant today. It just galls me that this is the way so many people see foster kids (or former foster kids). I don't want my kids to have to deal with being viewed as "less than".

ETA: Mei Ling, I'm with you there. People should be ADOPTING from the US, but putting efforts in foreign countries to find ways to keep kids where they are, be adopted into their own countries. By all means, we should NOT be ignoring kids in other countries. We should be finding ways to meet their needs where they are. If you MUST adopt, adopt through foster care. If you want to HELP kids in other countries, then help kids find loving homes where they are.

Mei-Ling

I know that a lot of adult adoptees here have been saying "do U.S. foster care!" and that there are thousands of kids waiting to be put into foster homes.

But if we stopped overseas adoption... then what *about* those who are left behind? In China? In Vietnam? In Guatemala?

Encouraging people to only adopt from the U.S. won't be preventing parents overseas from relinquishing their children. That won't "stop" just because we think it should. There are children in those orphanages who do not have a legally available family to return to (non-identifying info to avoid death/jail sentences) and domestic adoption in those countries isn't being encouraged as much as it should.

I don't think shouting at people "U.S. FOSTER CARE" is doing much to help out overseas families... :

IDK!!

I think those who are adopted out of foster care, see it more as gaining a family after already losing one.

Perhaps those adopted as newborns see it as losing their family, and thrust into another.

It makes sense to me, IDK!

Also I think that infant adoptees are more likely to feel "wanted", "needed" , someone waited a long time and paid a years wage to adopt them. I think many adopted from foster care may feel like people see them as a charity case and chosen over a newborn because of money. (not my opinion).

There are some here who have said they were adopted from foster are, but they almost never mention it. Even here foster kids are diplayed as needy, and I bet it takes a whole lot the shake that feeling.

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