Is there any other websites or forums where you can ask questions about the adoption process?

Just a Mom

If you don't want to see adoption from all points, then you are right...this isn't the place for you. I started out here not knowing anything from an adoptees point of view. Pretty scary since I adopted 5 kids. I thought everyone here was mean and cruel with the exception of Freckle Face. But then a tragedy happened: my kids first mother (who I was close to) died at the age of 30. I couldn't wrap my head around how much I missed her and how much my kids were going to miss out on without her being in our lives. I was an absolute mess and had just taken on her other two children that were still in her custody. So I turned to this forum for advice on how to deal with it all. And I was so comforted by the words of all these "anti adoption people". I can honestly say that the same people I felt attacked by before her death, were the ones to help me get through it. It's been a month now and I am forever changed. My kids lives are forever changed. Nothing will ever be how we imagined it and seven precious, beautiful children have depended on me to give them hope that everything will be okay. I would not have had the hope to give them without the support I received here.

You say I am judgmental. I think that is the pot calling the kettle black. If you stick around, you might get to know some really awesome people. But if you leave, you might be unprepared when your children get older and feel exactly like these "anti adoption people". Clearly your choice.

cruzgirlz3

It isn't a matter of being Pro or Anti, I'm not really either. Adoption for me is just a necessity of life. For some it works out, for some not.

I enjoy the fact that people here are willing to acknowledge, discuss and argue about the complexities of adoption. I came to this site with a very one dimensional view of adoption which was basically "hip hip hooray, for adoption." I was angry about what I read here, furious actually, but really I was just afraid that some of the things discussed actually might be true for me too..they were resonating. Stick around and you will learn, you may not agree with everyone, but you will learn. There are sites out there that will tell you what you want to hear, but what fun is that?

Freckle Face

Charliehorse,

please don't leave. You don't have to agree with everyone and we all get thumbs down. Speak your mind and ask your questions. If someone finds what you say offensive you might get blasted. If you don't understand why its offensive ask. Someone will tell you. I find if you are kind and respectful of others opinions it is reciprocated by most. Everyone here has different perspectives and opinions. Some you will agree with and some you won't, but isn't that true with everything?

What information do you need in adoption?

Best wishes.

Mei-Ling

It depends what you define as "anti-adoption."

A) Searching for biological parents?

B) Wanting open records?

C) Reading that an adoptee wishes they could have had the chance to grow up with their biological family? (eg. fear/insecurity coming from the [prospective adoptive] parent)

D) Thinking that people who think that children should not be adopted should indicate that we want them to remain in orphanages? (I sure don't)

E) Thinking that people who think that children who are abused/neglected should not be adopted?

To actually answer your question, your best bet is adoption.com. It's a pro-adoption site.

But I think it would benefit you to stay here and learn from the perspectives of others. I mean, if you have adopted or are planning to adopt, how will you feel when your child refers to their biological parents as "parents", too? How will you feel when they ask about relinquishment and how to search?

I'm not saying ALL adoptees want to search - just that some do, and that adoption in itself is a very complex process which involves more than just saying "we want to adopt a child."

Jennifer L

Try informed adoption advocates.

www.informedadoptions.com

Excellent resource.

ETA: Someone can explain adoption: the good, the bad and the ugly, without BEING ugly. But some here choose not to. There is a difference between educating someone and attacking someone.

JennaBear

people who really want to learn have an open mind to hear whatever it is that someone is teaching them. once they have heard it they can choose to a) accpet the new information as truth, b) reject the information as being full of bs, or c) accept certain aspects of the argument/opinion/information as being true and other parts as just not working for them. This is education.

Education is not about finding a bunch of people who will tell you exactly what you already believe or know.

I just don't understand why people who are thinking about adopting don't want to hear the truth from adoptees. Seriously, it's sorta screwed up in my opinion.

Possum

You obviously haven't been around very long.
There are many here who support adoption - it's just that this is the only forum where you can actually hear all sides.
Fancy that - allowing ALL those in adoption to have a say.
Because that is what is happening - no one is actually holding a gun to your head here.These are just words on a screen.
Well - it seems you don't want to hear all side - you know - from the one's most affected by the down side of adoption (the adoptees and first parents) - and actually learn how you can make life better for the adoptees. You know - learn from the mistakes of those that have come before you.
Sad really.
Just another small minded person with their fingers stuck in their ears.
If you have adopted or are thinking of doing so - I hope you will open your mind - for the adoptees sake.
As really - adoption is mostly about them.
You can accept the challenge of knowledge - or not.
Your choice.

sunny

Go to the agencies--they'll tell you what you want to hear.

Just have that checkbook ready.

Here the advice is free, and so much of it is from adult adoptees who have lived 30, 40, 50 years of adoption. Why wouldn't you want to hear from us?

If you were going to Italy on vacation, would you like to get advice from a native or someone who's never been there...

Penny A (Vanessa)

So you get 50 million thumbs down whenever you post? Ah me too, and so do most other people. So what? Yes I agree this place is pretty firey. As much as I understand you wanting to find somewhere else to post, don't let people bully you out of making a contribution. You've got as much right to contribute as the next Joe Bloggs.

Anyway, some other forums are listed below:

http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/
http://forums.adoption.com/

All the best to you

I have to agree with Jen L., informedadoptions.com is a great place to learn, not just about IA adoptions but about adoption in general. One of the sites founders is an adoptee and adoptive parent.

Gaia Raain

Informed adoptions is a forum that is mostly international adoptive parents. Adoption threads is comprised of all members of the "triad", but it's much calmer than Y!A is...although I've noticed that they seem to shame people who's opinions they don't like to silence them. Much more passive aggressive than this forum, but if you don't want to get outright forced to hear the other side, adoption threads might be a good place to go for a gentler view of all sides. I prefer the honesty of this forum. Yes, there are a lot of adoption reformist folks on here, but at least everyone has an equal right to voice their own opinions. I appreciate that.

ETA: Pssst, School Nurse, I AM a PAP, and I DID get educated here, and I AM sticking around. Blows your little theory right out of the water.

Sophie

I'm here and I'm pro-adoption. They're not running me out. :-)

Daisey Duck

Type in adoption forums on the internet it list alot of other sites where you can talk about the positive side of adoption. Try checking out a few of them. I have been and there are some really nice and pleasant people on there. I went to ask.com and went from there. I agree it's getting where it seems to be mostly haters on here. Used to not be that way. Sorry about the rude answer you have already gotten. And I am pro-adoption. The haters can't run me off.

Indian-vision

If i give you the list of my favourite sites/forums on adoption they may get removed for solicitation and violation. There are quite a few. Plz allow yourself to be IM'd and i will message you.

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