Is there anyway to find a birth mother without using an adoption agency? ?

snowwillow20

Contact your foster agency. I hear it's free to adopt. Not sure if you would still need a lawyer.

Possum

Please look into adoption from Foster Care.
You can specificy an age range - and there you will find children that need a home - they can no longer live with their family of origin.
Trying to find a woman in crisis - to talk her into giving her child away to a complete stranger - instead of helping her parent - is coercive and selfish on your part.
What you propose is finding a child for your own needs - not about looking after the best interests of the child or that child's mother.
If at all possible - children should grow with the women that give birth to them - if there is no harm present.
Would you like to just hand over one of your boys to a stranger to take ownership of?????
You need to fully research what adoption means to an adoptee - read books and blogs written by adult adoptees and relinquishing mothers.
You can start with this -
http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf
Do NOT go on Hollywood misconceptions on what adoption is all about.
Adoption is complex - at best.
Please become informed and go through the correct channels.

ETA: to add to your add - again go through Foster Care.
You can most likely have an open adoption - if the parents pose no threat - as open adoptions are the best for the child - as they need to know their truth and see and hear those that look, act and have talents like them.

Trying to find a child any other way is unethical.
You should be helping a family stay together - instead of facilitating them to break apart.

magic pointe shoes

Oh my. Someone suggested Juno for real life advice. O_o

Ugh! The women are expectant mothers not birthmothers. Birthmothers (if you insist on using that awful terminology) are women who have already relinquished their children for adoption.

That being said, prematching with an expectant mother is coercive by nature. Depending on which way you attempt it, depends on how much more offensive the attempt is.

Mei-Ling

Please don't use Juno as an example of real adoption.

That movie is an inaccurate representation of what relinquishing women actually do go through.

Mothers never "get over it."

Mothers never "forget."

Mothers never stop grieving.

Not Adopted

"or what about going into a hospital? I know around here parents are allowed to drop off their newborn child, no questions asked. You can ask them where they bring those children."

Sure, because there are scads of mothers dropping off their newborns, just like the storks used to do! Must be an endless supply!

grapesgum

A "birth mother" is a derogatory term to many people, so if you are hoping to convince a woman to hand her child over to you, I suggest that you show her a modicum of respect and steer clear of the "birth thing" terms.

From Jeff Katz's brilliant article about "supply and demand" in adoption:

"Tens of thousands of children in foster care nationwide grow older each year waiting to be adopted, yet a government agency has found that there are far more women seeking to adopt children than there are children awaiting adoption. So why aren't the laws of supply and demand working in U.S. adoptions? ..... There are three primary sources of "supply" for adoption -- newborns, foreign-born children and children in foster care. The first two groups are small and shrinking. Because most women giving birth out of wedlock now raise their children, fewer newborns are available for adoption. Indeed, the study reported, "Relinquishment of infants at birth is extremely rare." Meanwhile, recent changes in international law are likely to reduce the number of international adoptions. Even without those changes, adopting a child internationally is complicated and beyond the financial reach of most Americans."

I don't understand why people come to open forums looking for advice on how to troll for a child when there are thousands of children waiting in foster care. You say that you are looking for an older child? Why not foster care? Why do you need to do a private adoption?

Dalal M

probobly ther is a guy on tv who does call hinm he is real

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