Is there "room" on the family tree for children placed for adoption?

Lillie

Fine for open adoption, but kinda hard for those of us with sealed records.

ETA: I am reunited, but I still have a VERY hard time figuring out my genealogy. As far as I know, no, my n-family hasn't added me to theirs...but then they aren't big into the whole genealogy thing.

I've asked them questions about it and they say they'll get around to it but they never do. So I'm left to try to figure it out on my own.

But knowing my parents' names doesn't get me far when trying to trace g-g-grandparents, and my n-father was a step-parent adoptee, so HIS records were sealed, too.

It's a double-whammy.

Andraya

My son is all over my natural family tree and he always will be. I'm there too and have been since my birth.

I am nowhere on my amoms family tree. I am not blood therefore I am not worthy of their coveted family tree. SCREW EM! Where I came from is what matters to me, not where I ended up. For my adad's side I am always family.

Lori A

That's one of those things that just doesn't seem to matter to the people who hold the power. It's not their family tree. Its trivial to them. Means nothing compared to having a roof over a childs head. You notice I didn't say good home, just a roof.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

we never had that on my family tree. but that's the joy of closed adoption.

Possum

It's interesting - in a tragic kind of way.

I stumbled upon my first mother's family tree on the internet when I first started searching for her.

In fine print on the tree - it states that those that are adopted INTO the family can be added - but a note will be added next to them - as they are not the true 'blood line' and they are in fact adopted into the family.

I'm not on there.

I'm 'blood line'.

But the shame and secrecy in adoption means that I probably will never go on there either.

So it's a double whammy for we - the adopted.

Forever stuck in the middle.

Damn this social experiment - called adoption!!!

LaurieDB

I'm in my first family's tree and always was. But, there are a lot of families split up by adoption who don't have information, so the trees aren't complete when they very easily could be.

sk8ermom

My daughter will always be on her BP's family tree. She will not be forgotten. My sons will probably not be welcome on their bio side :(

Depends on the birthfamily but they certainly SHOULD be.

Kitty

always room for one more!... or 6

Toni

yes there is room. I have my daughter's 1st mom on my tree and hope that my daughter is recognized by her bio family on their tree. I am forever linked to my child's birth mother and am honored to be so.

What a lame website that is... shame on them! I have to say that I have a new interest in my family tree since I met my biological family. Most of my biological family is wonderful, but there are bio relatives that say I have no place in their family tree either... you just can't win!!!

Jennifer L

My children and their first family has been added to the family geneology.

ETA: Only two thumbs down? You guys are slipping.

purdyjen

my first child (placed for adoption) is not on our family trees currently as most of our family members do not know about him.

That being said, if he decides to become part of our life someday, I will definitely make sure he is added. I have a relationship with the adoptive parents and would welcome him if he decides to meet us. (I am now married to his father).

Freckle Face

Hi Lara,

Whoa, that thought never even crossed my mind.

My daughters and their families are already on our family tree.

I'd say, heck yeah, there is room. Thats what trees do they grow.

furfur

Absolutely there is room; the tree just needs to grow some additional branches! :)

And it IS extremely important to make room for the adopted family members...they are part of the family for crying out loud!

Ted

Why not? Of course there is room.

"Demolished" is a little harsh, don't ya think?

Sometimes seeds are carried far away from the tree they fell from and yet they still grow strong. Sometimes trees get pruned so they can grow back stronger. Sometimes different trees are grafted together to make a new tree. You get the point? If you want to get down to it, we're all apart of the same family tree.

Tita

Well, it's very clear to me that if kids are adopted THEY are family now.....aren't they? I would not have any doubts in my mind if that would be my case...my kids are my kids. Period.

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