Isit possible to stil have a relationship with your baby if you put him up?

Bo Peep

Yes you can definitely have a relationship with your child if you have him/her adopted in the UK.

In the UK contact with birth families is seen as a positive thing and is encouraged so you would not have a problem here. You could insist that the adopting family are willing to allow you to have contact and then negotiate terms.

I do know of someone who asked to have contact every weekend, and this is just not workable. The family need to settle down and live as normal a family life as possible - however when and where possible it is encouraged that the child understand about their biological roots and being able to have face to face contact with a birth parent once or twice a year removes all fantasy and wondering about who their birth family is.

If you really cannot keep your baby then you need to discuss this with social services. They will allocate you a social worker; your child will have his/her social worker, and the adoptive family will have their workers too....all will make sure that what is best for all concerned happens.

If you don't want to talk directly to social services yet, ring/email Barnados for advice. They will be happy to talk to you.

Lori A

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuKPBjjBFhOOqb1kQEyUHRlq.Bd.;_ylv=3?qid=20080613201349AA62Hzh

This might help you to understand. There are AP's out there who are willing to do opened adoptions, knowing that the childs best interest is first and foremost. There are also agencies, lawyers, and some AP's who will promise anything to get the paperwork signed, because they know that there are no laws to protect you from an opened adoption being closed for any and no reason at any time.

TO ANOTHER POSTER: The reason parents want to keep in touch with their children is because there is so much more to it that ink and paper. Your response proves you have no idea what this is about. You really should read up on the affects to the child who has been adopted. Parents make this painful decision not because it's like selling an old car but because they think it is what's best for their child to survive.

Your snide remark only proves your lack of knowledge on the subject and embarrasses no one but yourself. I am one of those mothers and if your intention was to hurt my already scared and wounded psyche you are going to have to do better than that. I've already hear all of your tired comments.

You need some fresh new material, but I warn you I don't tuck tail and run easily. My days of shame are over and you nor anyone else will make me feel ashamed ever again. And I won't let you try and make anyone else who has gone through this feel less of themselves either. I will not block you and I don't use thumbs down. If you would like to further this conversation I am available to you, either publically or privately.

Providing there is no harm, I defend first parents.

ETA: PUBLIC APPOLOGY for being so defensive. I should have found a better way to phrase my answer. I have been really snarky lately.

minx 21

no i don't think so they don't have open adoptions in the UK, your only option would be to have a family member or friend to adopt your child. but if you really want a relationship with your child you should keep them there is loads of help out there for you. Good Luck

Independ"ant"

Unfortunately in most cases after the adoption is final, the new parents try to make it difficult for you to be involved.

laplandfan

The fact you are asking that question indicates to me that you should NOT give your baby up for adoption.

As others have stated once you give up your baby you will never see it or have any rights to see it ever again.

jodee1kenobi

I think adoptions are far more open these days. We are just starting out on the road of adoption and we have been told to start considering what sort of contact agreements we could uphold. Also I think it is decided in the best interest of the child what sort of contact remains between parent and the adopted child. You really need to talk with your social worker about this issue.

Good luck.

Emma's mommy

If you had an open adoption than you can. Open adoptions mean that the adoptive family can send you pictures of the baby, they can write to you, you can write to them, that you can visit the baby sometimes. And a closed adoption is when you put the baby up for adoption, you don'T see the baby again, and that you don'T know the adoptive family and any of that information. In a closed adoption the only time the baby may look for you, is if ever they are told that they were adopted and if your child wants to find his biological parents. Best of luck to you.

time for a change

Nope all legal ties are given up. You would not be able to contact your child ever again. You will however be able to put your name on a list that if your child should decide to try and find you then they will know you are willing for contact.

If you still want a relationship with your child then why would you put them up for adoption.

ksnevill

The only real option for still having a relationship would be fostering, however I would worry about the child and how they would respond to such a relationship. They would do better with all or nothing

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